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I almost couldn't read the writing in the mirror since it was in lipstick and backward. I'm pretty sure it said DE-VIRGINATOR.

Wearing the blindfold was actually kind of a bummer because that mirror would have provided me a great vantage point of hot random college chicks molesting my studly body over and over like a piece of meat designed for their raw, insatiable pleasure...

The distant blare of the loudspeaker made its way into the room from the pool down below to our open patio door Ladies and gentlemen, our Hot Wet Spring Break Nights official WET TEE SHIRT CONTEST sponsored by ColdBru Lager happens in a half hour! Ladies, you've got about twenty minutes to sign up, shake your booty, show us what you're workin' with and win a gift card for $200 credit for Son of Beach Swimsuit Emporium right here in beautiful downtown Castille San Luca! See Ron down here at the front of–

"Oh, come on," Froody said. "We can be pirates. It will be fun!"

Nah, I'm headed down to the pool to see wet boobies.

Okay, fine. As long as I get to have a parrot.

Before I could think more, I dropped hard into peaceful unconsciousness where I would have been glad to remain in restful oblivion for a good long time.

I may have slept thirty seconds or thirty minutes or thirty years, but the next thing I know, my best friend Froody shook me awake, and I could hear Rick and Steve banging around in their luggage.

"Wake up!" Froody said, excited.

"Noooo," I said into the pillow.

"We have to enter the Pirate Booty contest! We could win a mini-keg!"

"Noooo!"

"Come on, we're entered as a team!" he said, pulling off the blankets. "We have to make pirate costumes!"

Okay, that sounds like the most fun idea ever!

Okay, that sounds like the lamest idea ever.

Eleven Forty-

7

4

1

1

I was pretty certain of my heterosexuality, so yeah.

Ain't no dick bother me, showem if you gotem.

Secure in my heterosexuality, I covered up Froody's body with the sheet a little more modestly than it was before.

Sure enough.

At least Rick and Steve wouldn't wake up and make fun of his erection...

But it was now high time to deal with mine.

And that was when I realized...

I took the opportunity to lift the sheet and holy crap Froody. All this time I considered you my little brother. I found myself somewhat humbled in his somnolescently massive presence.

Good for him, I thought.

But damn...

Froody was my best friend, but he had always been the beta wolf in our interactions, so

I of course wouldn't mention this to him later.

This was the perfect opportunity for a prank.

Surely that's not all him under there...

Seriously, damn. What did Froody's parents feed him?

I couldn't resist taking another look under the sheet.

But it didn't matter.

Had I gone to a club last night? How would I have gotten there? Wait. The hotel had a little tiny dancefloor club. That's probably where it came from. I must have walked through there at some point, so I had ID and my wallet, but those would also be in my shorts.

Despite my thorough search, my shorts weren't there.

ATTENTION!

BEYOND

THIS POINT

YOU MAY

ENCOUNTER

NUDE

BATHERS

I wasn't sure how to proceed, so I just laid it out. "So, do we just fuck right here?"

Layla stared at me for a moment. "Not if that's your idea of foreplay."

Ouch.

"Seriously," she said, frowning. "Haven't you done this before?"

No

Yes

Sorry

"No," I admitted.

"Wait. Seriously?" Layla exclaimed.

"Well, I mean...not like this. I mean, I've done it before, but not with someone I just met and...didn't take on like three dates."

"Oh!"

"And I might have done it a couple of times this week. I don't remember because..." The back of my neck was getting hot, and it wasn't the sun.

"Well, that's what Spring Break kind of is," she said.

"This is a little weirder. I mean...I'm not drunk or totally high so I'm kind of feeling all this."

"I know what you mean, . I've done it both ways. All kinds of ways. And I'll tell you with feeling is better. So I'll cut you some slack. This doesn't have to be all important and meaningful if you don't want it to be. I'm down to fuck just as much as you are. But let's enjoy each other and let it happen and not make any demands. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I really enjoy this beach," she said after a pause. "You see those surfers out there? Watch them, They're nuts. Don't ever fuck a surfer, they're always just waiting to get away from you and back in the ocean."

Let's pretend that didn't happen, okay?

"I'm so sorry, Layla," I said. "I know I'm coming off like a douche, and–"

"It's okay, Spring Break kinda worms that into your head. Let's just respect each other. We do stuff because we both want to, not because it's expected. 'Kay?"

"Right!"

Let's pretend that didn't happen, okay?

"Okay, then," Layla said. "Slow your roll and let's get to know each other a little. Don't make me rethink my original impression that you're not one of those dickhead fratboys over there who just wants to fuck any clueless girl they come across."

"Sorry about that," I said.

"It's okay. I'm a sexual being, but I don't spread on command."

Let's pretend that didn't happen, okay?

Eleven

7

4

1

1

The wad of ex-napkin looked like it had been chewed up and spit out by a Saint Bernard. I spread out the most promising bits with any remains of ink on them out on the glass surface of the patio table. Layla's writing wasn't real neat to begin with, and I remembered her number had a lot of 7s and 2s and 9s that could look identical under the best of circumstances:

This is a work of erotic fiction containing explicit sexual descriptions and language intended for adults. The author does not endorse illegal, non-consensual, or unsafe behavior in real life. By continuing, you assert you are of legal age and wish to read adult content.

This game does not contain pornographic images.

That's not what really happened. What happened was she unleashed her mammoth boobays from the tight halter and said I could touch them, but that seemed like a consolation prize and I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. "Not right now, but...thanks."

"It's okay," she said, leaning back in her chair and lifting her weighty boobs up for a moment. "I'm just gonna air 'em out if that's all right with you."

That was totally fine with me. I got to ogle them as we had a nice chat. I learned her name was Jess and that she was from Texas where she was studying architecture and interior design.

Then she started telling me about her exploits in cosplay at conventions, and we got into a detailed conversation that bordered on nerdery.

I intended to continue until the glass patio door scraped open and she looked up at a tall goateed hipster with glasses. "You ready, Jess? The Uber is here."

"Oh sure," she said, yanking her halter down and tugging to situate her flesh as she stood up and nodded to me. "It was nice meeting you!"

The guy held up his hand for a high-five and I slapped it. "Have a good evening, bud," he said, and they left the patio door open for me, high-stepping over a trio of nerds rendering a skinny blond girl airtight on the floor just inside.

I marched back in and had me some guilt-free nerd sex.

I marched back through the orgy and returned to my room.

"May I join you?" I asked, hoping she'd share her beach towel with me.

"Actually, no," she replied.

"No?"

"I'm still enjoying the scenery from here, so just stay standing for a little bit."

Oh yeah?

Hanon Ondricek

7

4

1

1

Rick and Steve were snoring soundly, and Froody was out cold. Nobody had to know.

I had always kinda wondered what another guy's penis might feel like, so I took the brief opportunity to just lightly brush his flesh with my fingertips. It was smooth, perfectly formed, and bigger than mine, dammit.

And in case you're wondering, it didn't turn me on in the slightest.

I changed into a clean shirt and shorts as Froody, Rick and Steve cleared off the table so we could craft. We spent a full ten minutes making our pirate costumes: rolling up sleeves, tying bandanas on our heads, coloring hotel stationery black with magic markers and cutting and taping it to dental floss for eye patches. After a quick round of pirate-themed selfies, we marched out the door to plunder the contest.

No. That one hurt. I closed my eyes and tried again.

...but none of them actually made it out of my mouth.

I sat staring at this vision of loveliness, my jaw hanging open, ogling her boobs.

Her eyes widened a bit, and she clucked her tongue. "Okay then!" she said cheerily as she hopped off the barstool.

"Yeah, he should be back," I stammered. I wanted to say so much more, but the words just stuck in my throat.

"Cool, thanks," she replied, looking at me a moment, and then up at the TV which was playing a Spanish soap opera.

"I don't know," I said, completely forgetting he went to get me a beer.

"I guess he'll be back, she said, folding her arms and staring up at the TV.

The bartender returned, handing her a wallet and a pair of glasses. She gave him a European cheek kiss on both sides. "Night Carlos!" He said something probably very sexy to her in Spanish which she grinned at and fluently rattled something just as sexy back.

"Nice meeting you!" she said in English, leaving me like the village idiot as she strode off into the crowd, hips swaying like all get out.

"Hey, you know Layla?" the bartender asked, setting a bottle of ColdBru on the napkin in front of me.

"Nope," I finally said, finding my words again. "Not this time."

So, that's my Spring Break story. Any tips for how I might do better next time when I meet the girl of my dreams?

Dear Tongue-Tied at the Tiki Bar,

That sounds like a rocking Spring Break. Tips? Think of words. Select the best words to put together into sentences. Make sounds and say them!

We all have been there, and hope you get the chance to write us a better story next time.

Have a (hopefully more) sexy Summer!

ThrustLust

Sex on the Beach

I barged through the crowd, passing some sort of stupid contest where guys in cardboard pirate hats were in a line mooning the crowd and twerking. I made a beeline for the larger stage, where the deejay was hosing down a line of girls in a wet tee shirt contest.

Getting drunk!

Getting stoned!

Getting laid!

Playing Dungeons and Dragons!

Avoiding every Spring Break activity possible.

"So!" I announced. "I'm to understand this is a nude beach! I believe I shall remove my clothing now, as it is legal and I desire to do so!"

Layla turned toward me and leaned back to watch the drama unfold, an amused smirk on her face.

I gave the drawstring a devil-may-care tug, but that only made the knot tighter. I spent a minute or so trying to pick it apart with my fingernails.

"Do you need some help?"

"No! I shall disrobe promptly," I hollered, figuring I could just wiggle them down over my hips.

I did have shoes on, but nevermind that.

Layla gave me a sultry look, then reached for the knot between her boobs. "Give me a second, I usually double tie this because it likes to fall off me if I go in the water. Sometimes it's...hard to untie in the front..."

She worked the knot for a second, then there was slight thunk as it gave (maybe it was the click of my dry throat as I swallowed) and the top of her swimsuit melted off her chest like seafoam from an actual mermaid ready to sing her big hit song.her substantial boobs burst from the swimsuit top as if they desperately needed air...

"Oh yeah," Layla said. "That's much better, actually."

MmmmherTittiesweresoGood...

I could write pages and pages of sonnets about Layla's

firm, tight little bottom,

round, full derriere,

generous, dimpled acre of booty,

but the rhyme scheme would be terrible, and the last line would always be something horrible like ere'which I'd yearn to stick my bone betwixt...

My genitals stirred at the sight of succulent womanflesh, and we were clearly off on a trip to the Leaning Tower of Penis, I feared. I shifted slightly, hoping to keep a semblance of control.

My shlong throbbed its way toward a full erection, pressing uncomfortably against my shorts and creating a huge bulge that would have been embarrasing at age twelve solving a problem at the blackboard.

There was no stopping it. My dick was fully hard, standing straight out. There was no possible way to avoid the horizontal elephant in my shorts. I tried adjusting a bit, dressing it down my left leg, but these were Rick's swimtrunks, not mine, and they were half-thigh length instead of knee-length. So when my erection popped through the mesh pouch on inside, my cockhead threatened to peek out from the leg hole...in the room. My only strategy was to ignore it completely.

"Wait, seriously? Your actual name is Jericho?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Are you some kind of stalker? You did research on me...or you're wearing some kind of earpiece and there's a van feeding you information–this is a joke right? A prank? Where are the hidden cameras?" she said, looking in both directions suspiciously.

"Um, nooo..." I said, wondering what she was on about. "Not that I'm aware of..."

"," she repeated. "Okay, are you sure?"

"Yes."

"So from now on I'll call you . Anything else we need to go over?"

"Nooo," I said.

"All right. Let's start again... Hi, , I'm Layla."

Nice to meet you too!

I pressed my oily finger on her hole, but it puckered tightly, resisting admittance. "Oof, careful with my ass!" said Layla.

I tried my finger in her butt again. This time with some gentle circular motion my finger slid in to the first knuckle, Her back tensed, "Oh! Careful FFfffffff... Nnngh...not really ready for that!"

I worked my finger in and out of her incredibly tight butthole. "That's not turning me on right now, !"

I kept fingering her butt

I rubbed more oil on her butt.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her legs.

I placed my hotdog between her buns

I fucked her in the ass

Magnets in our mouths, the distance shortened, we both leaned in. Our lips met and her free hand held the back of my head as our lips first puckered together, then softened. We breathed into each other, soft mouths brushing, small flashes of tongue shyly touching our own lips, her lips, my lips. The tip of her tounge flickering on mine, exploring, the correct amount of tongue god she was a good kisser...

Our foreheads pressed together, her eyes flickered down, then met mine again. "..."

I was supposed to be rubbing lotion. My hand on her tummy wandered

up

down

Our lips met again. Her kiss temporarily made the rest of our bodies disappear and there was only Layla and .

An infinite moment passed, then

my touch wandered to her breasts

my touch wandered to her crotch

I pulled at the knot tying Layla's top closed in back. "You don't want a nasty tanline, do you?"

"Mm, no," she mumbled. "The nudity police hate tanlines..."

The knot dissolved and her top loosened from her shoulders. She turned back over and tossed her top aside, revealing her gorgeous breasts.

Mmmmtitties...

She met my gaze with hers and held it, biting her lip as her fingers slid to her hip and slowly pulled the loose string of the knot there. It fell apart gracefully.

"Mm," she said. I'm so close to naked, maybe I should take a little break..."

"No!" I said. "I mean...please?"

"Even if I took a moment to rub my slick oily breasts?" She cupped them, her firm nipples poking between her middle and ring fingers.

I could only stare as a smile spread across her face.

"You're so patient! You deserve this," she purred, pulling the other hip string, which seemed to be caught and wouldn't slip apart as easily. "Dangit. There's no graceful way to do this and–Ah!"

The second knot popped, and with one quick motion like a magician removing a tablecloth from underneath a dinner for twelve without disturbing anything, she was miraculously naked before me.

She kept her knees modestly together though. "Better?"

"Much better," I said, realizing I needed to breathe.

"Oh. Sorry," she straighened up a bit. "That was a passage from this romance novel I'm trying to write, and the hero's name is Jericho–just like yours, that's why I was so weirded out earlier. Sorry, yeah, that probably made no sense in context. I'm a closet erotica writer in my spare time, and I got all in my head there for a second...

That sounds fascinating, Layla.

Okay, cool.

"...usually I can contain my fantasy world on the inside instead of saying it out loud. Did I tell you I'm sort of a nerd? I mean, I may look hot, but I still feel like a fat girl with glasses who writes Doctor Who fan-fic–"

Layla, shhhhhhhhh...ShhShhhhhhhhh...

I will out-nerd you in a nerdliest-nerd contest, but first, we fuck.

"I basically write porn for fun. I know that's totally weird and implies I'm a weird person, but–"

ShhhShhhh–shhshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Is it okay if we fuck now?

...I will TOTALLY read your porn, Layla. Later.

Please, call me Jericho if that makes you wet.

I rubbed oil down, basting Layla's legs. Her calves were firm, and her skin creamy smooth. "Ooh!" she said, as my hands traveled further up the insides of her thighs.

I concentrated on making sure Laylas inner thighs were properly protected from the sun, wiggling my fingers as I traveled up and down. "That tickles!" she warned.

I spent a long time sensuously massaghing Layla's thighs, noticing that every time my fingers traveled near her crotch, her ass would twitch. I made her ass twich over and over because it was so cute.

"!" she said admonishingly but making no move to escape.

I slid a finger under her bikini bottoms.

I rubbed more oil on her legs.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her butt.

The oil made her ass even more tempting. I squeezed and kneaded her buns gently, enjoying the slight jiggle of her flesh.

"I think you like my butt!"

"I love your butt," I said, sinking my fingers into her round asscheeks and gently parting them, revealing the thong strap underneath like a buried treasure.

I continued rubbing Layla's butt with suntan oil, enjoying how her buttcheeks would spread so enjoyably, and then immediately spring back together, hiding the thong strap.

Layla rotated her hips ever so slightly, flexing her buns in alternation. "You like that?"

I pulled aside her thong strap.

I rubbed more oil on her butt.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her legs.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I decided I was totally going to buy one of these shower heads the first time I had a place of my own. Hot water pounded my neck muscles soft and shook my brain loose from inside of my skull.

I enjoyed the shower massage long enough to be considering what other parts of my body might need some pounding massage, but there was a commotion as the hotel room door banged open and my roommates returned. Froody barged straight into the bathroom.

"Dry off!" he said. We're entering the Pirate Booty contest! We could win a mini-keg!"

"Noooo!" I groaned, pressing my forehead against the farthest tile wall, the spray pounding my hip almost too hard like a liquid machine-gun.

"Come on, we're entered as a team!" He paused for a full two minutes to urinate noisily into the toilet before continuing. "We have to make pirate costumes!"

Okay, that sounds like the most fun idea ever!

Okay, that sounds like the lamest idea ever.

I gently plucked her thong strap, getting a peek at her tiny pink butthole, then let it snap back, making her jump and squeal. "OooOOoh! That's not fair at all!"

I pulled the strap aside again, spreading her crack to reveal the neat pucker of her anus. It was the size of a dime and just a slight shade darker pink than the rest of her perfect, clean hidden valley. Her skin smells like Malibu Rum hazed in my mind as lubed her crack with the suntan oil, gently circling her asshole with my thumb.

"Mmmmm..." she moaned, rolling her hips, and I felt the ring subtly clench and release under my fingertip.

I licked her asshole.

I slid a finger carefully into her butthole.

I hotdogged her tasty buns.

I fucked her in the ass

I rubbed more oil on her butt.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her legs.

"You said you wanted to have a drink with me, so I didn't want to wait too long," I said, handing over the beverage I'd obtained from the hotel pool tiki bar.

It was a fruity concoction in a hard plastic souvenir glass–the hotel wasn't taking chances of real glassware getting broken or all walking away in the hands of intoxicated college students–topped with an orange slice and two cherries speared together with a green plastic sword.

"Why, thank you!" Layla said.

"I just told the bartender to surprise me," I admitted.

"Oh yeah, that's well liquor," Layla coughed. "Very thoughtful. You may have to help me drink this."

I leaned down and accepted a sip. Wow, that was cold and refreshing but, indeed, slightly medicinal.

"I had him make it virgin," I said. "I know I'm pretty busted up from last night and I figured you could also use some vitamin C and hydration."

"How, very thoughtful," she cooed. "Mm. Virgin. Like me!"

"For real?" I blurted, unable to censor myself. Surely–

"Mayyybe!" she replied, waggling her eyebrows exaggeratedly, the straw never leaving the lucky space between her pink lips. She took another long sip, keeping her eyes locked on mine the whole time. I'm glad she didn't glance lower, 'cause there was some action beginning to happen down there.

"Mmm, that's perfect," she said, taking a long delighted sip, probably unaware of the effect the sight of her puckered lips sucking a straw was having on me.

"Woo! That is strong," she said, blinking rapidly. "You're going to have to help me drink this, because I don't think it's even noon yet. Hot as it is, it won't take much of this to pop a buzz. Have some."

I took a sip through the straw, detecting a trace of her cherry lip gloss there, but wow, there was a lot of liquor in the drink.

"Sorry, about that, would you rather have some water or–"

"This will do it for now, but I only had a little breakfast like five hours ago, so can't handle much of this."

I hoped she could handle everything I wanted to give her...

"Don't think I haven't noticed and appreciated your subtly suggestive attempt at a physical pun," she said, moving the straw between her lips again.

"What do you mean?"

"You've offered me sex on the beach. The drink. It's "Sex on the Beach", isn't it?"

"Mayyybe!" I said, waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

She was wise to my scheme...

'Cause I totally intended a subtle physical pun...

"Oh sure," I said, and stood in front of her awkardly, recalling that time I signed up for life drawing as an art elective, not realizing that half of the time would be spent staring at a various naked people who were poor students and not models trying to figure out if nipples should be two circles or three.

Yeah, girls loved looking at my body. I often signed up to pose for art classes so I could stand nude for hours and let the ladies rejoice in my splendor, and the dudes burn with total envy. Some of those pictures they drew of me I wanted to buy for myself.

I flexed a bicep, then each pec alternately making them bounce, arching my back to show definition in my abs.

I pretended to be a bodybuilder, doing some He-Man poses and growling then kneeling like Charles Atlas. I didn't really know what I was doing, but she seemed pleased.

I turned in a circle as if I were showing off the jeans I was trying on and might potentially buy, but there were no jeans. I faced her again and held my arms out like that DaVinci drawing of the guy in the circle. I couldn't remember though if my arms were supposed to be at 9 and 3 or 10 and 2.

"Default 3D model avatar pose. Hot," she said under her breath.

"Wha-?"

"Oh you like this?" I joked, running my hands seductively through my chest hairover my smooth, glistening chest and over my hips. "Mm! Mmm! It's so hot out here..."

"That's good, now turn and show me your ass," Layla grinned.

I turned around and thumbed my trunks down low, flashing her some crack. "I'll do anything to get this part, Ms. Director."

"You're hired!"

"I'm not kidding, you know!"

"And I'm not paying you. This will be good on your resume."

"Really?"

"Okay, very nice. That will do nicely, thank you!" Layla said., sipping some more cocktail lazily through the straw.

I hoped she was enjoying my efforts and not just leading me on.

I couldn't resist working a hand up through her leg so I could pluck the string of material from her crack and pull it aside. I was greeted by her tiny pink butthole and the very base of her pussy lips. I stretched forward with my tongue out, just barely wiggling it on her flesh.

Layla squealed and moved forward. "Hey, Mister, this is supposed to be your turn!"

She rolled off my body and collapsed next to me, both of us breathing heavily.

fiftywords

looks

build

haircolor

hairlength

shaved

hotness

lbody

lheight

lhair

lboobs

ST (true/false - Shiny Tech music playing)

I could feel my orgasm starting to well up as warm tingles spread through my thighs.

I was about ready to come.

Oh god. I was gonna come! I could feel it cresting the hill...

I gently lifted Layla's legs between us, parking her knees on my shoulders.

"Ffffffff...ooh god yeah, your cock is so deep inside me," she hissed.

"Oh yeah, plow me like a hot, sexy farmboy, !" she groaned.

"That's it, pound me like a jackhammer, !" she moaned, squeezing her tits and pinching her hard nipples.

She scrunched her face and grunted as my cock throbbed deeply inside her.

My penis is pretty underwhelming in comparison to most guys, I imagine. It's only about seven inches long when I'm hard, but it does happen to be pretty thick and uncut. I have never had any complaints about it.

My dick is probably average-sized; maybe eight and a half inches uncut on a good day, a little thicker than others I've seen. I have never had any complaints about it.

My cock is maybe a little above average. I'm decently hung, perhaps about nine inches uncut when fully erect, but luckily it is also sort of thick. I have never had any complaints about it.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm quite well-endowed. My schlong is just a little over ten inches when I'm fully aroused, and pretty thick and uncut. I have never had any complaints about it.

"Nice." Layla said.

"Nice?"

"Yeah! Nice."

"One word?"

"It's nice! You have a nice dick. It'll do."

"It'll do?!!!"

", I live by a nude beach. I have witnessed all the peen."

"Oh, well. One word could be like, 'wow'..."

"I mean I like it!" she said, her eyes fixated in appraisal. "It's not small."

Well, yeah.

"!" Layla .

"Yeah, right there, !"

"UhhhhHHhhyeahdoit!"

"Right there. Right there. Ohhh...just like that!"

"Give it to me, !"

"You like that?"

"You like that, ?"

"That feels so good..."

"Don't stop...."

"Mmmm...mmm!"

"Oh god...yeah!"

"That's so fucking hot, ..."

Layla writhed and panted with her eyes closed.

I sort of stared at Layla for a second, zoning out at the smell of coconut suntan oil.

"Well, unfortunately there's not any music yet," she said, glancing toward the hotel. "I don't think the DJ starts up till about one o'clock today. Dancing in sand is kinda hard though."

Lots of things around here had the potential to be really hard, I thought to myself.

"Well, play your cards right," Layla muttered, "and you won't need to stuff money in my drawers to get down there."

"What?" I said, not sure if I heard her correctly.

"I said, 'we'll see,' !"

"I didn't want to insult you again," I said. "I know you're not really a stripper."

"Well, I'm glad you realize that, but you didn't insult me," she replied. "And you shouldn't need to pay for anyone's company, seriously."

I hadn't considered the possibility that Layla might be a sex worker of some kind, but I was glad to know she wasn't. Unless she was lying and running a hustle on me. In which case, I didn't have any actual money on me, so it wasn't going to work. Not that I would do that...of course...but–

We continued...

I decided not to comment on the serial killer thing. She might have been into that sort of thing, but I wasn't.

"You about a size fourteen?" I drawled, smiling at her, figuring I'd give her an out if she needed it.

There was an awkward pause, but fortunately her sense of humor ran on the same rail as mine: "That was a risk! You are so lucky that is my favorite movie, ! Congratulations, you've passed the sense of humor test."

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin," I drawled out the side of my mouth. "It does this whenever it's told or else it gets my hose again! Yes, it will, Precious, won't it? It will get the hose!" I figured all or nothing; if I couldn't scare her away she was all in.

Fortunately her sense of humor ran on the same rail as mine: "That was a risk! You are so lucky that is my favorite movie, ! Congratulations, you've passed the sense of humor test."

"PRECHUUUUUUUUSSS! I howled, not caring if anyone heard.

Immediately she followed up: "C'mon Precious! I got a yummy yummy snack for ya!" She covered her face, laughing. "You are so lucky that is my favorite movie, ! Congratulations, you've passed the sense of humor test."

"Oh really?" she said. "I hope you don't mean like in that Twilight piece of shit. That woman fucked up so much vampire and werewolf lore for an entire generation, seriously."

"No, the old school kind!" I replied. "No shimmering here. Unless you want to rub body glitter all over me..."

"Thank you. Vampires and werewolves need to be scary and sexy, you know?"

I agreed totally.

She definitely knew weird stuff.

I said nothing, because chicks dig it when you keep them in suspense.

"Yes," I said. "But I thought it might be a little rude to just spring over the rocks naked with a boner and land on top of you like Spiderman."

"That was a smart judgement," she nodded. "But if we get a chance, I'd love to see if you can actually vault those boulders."

Damn, she was feisty. I could think of a couple boulders I wanted to get over top of real soon.

"Not right this second," I said, posing masculinely. "My strategy right now is to stand here for a while, looking like Zeus, god of the sea. Soon, I figure your passion will have built into a such a frenzy that you'll attack me of your own accord."

"Poseidon was god of the sea, ."

"Right. Him. That's what I meant! They were brothers, you know. Up on Mount Olympics. People confuse them all the time!"

She was still beautiful, even when she smiled patronizingly. "You are so lucky I like guys big and stupid. We've got part of that down at least!blond and brainless. It usually mean's they're hung.tall, dark and stupid. It usually means they're hung. Cause historically, guys that put skill points in endowment are taking them from intelligence. What, you've never thought of that in D&D terms before?"

I just winked at her.

"You got some sand in your eye, ?" she asked. "Or are you suddenly playing coy with me? Hm?"

"I'm actually selling these fine encyclopedias. I would have brought the entire set to show you, but only volumes A through Qu would fit down these shorts," I said, feeling quite pleased with my own wit. "I'm sure it serves as a sufficient representative sample."

She lifted her sunglasses up to her forehead. "So that's what you're actually packing down there?" she said, lowering her eyes from mine briefly. "Shoot. I was getting worked up for nothing!"

Ow! Feisty.

At least she wasn't trying to flee or giving me "go away" signals, so that was good.

Yep.

Your fascination with Layla

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

Her boobehs were phenomenal...

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

"I like your boobies," I said.

"Me too," she said, glancing down. "They've won awards."

"Are you serious?"

"No, not at all!"

"I know, right?" she said, pressing them together and quivering, "ehnheehnnnn!"

"Seriously," she said, cupping them in her hands. "I wish I could fuck them!"

"Nnnnghhh–yeah!" she said in a mock porn gasp, rubbing them in slow circles.

No really, your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

Sitting on the beach with Layla

I decided to make myself comfortable, and sat down on the sand close beside Layla. Not so close as to be creepy, but so we could talk a little more personally.

Layla resumed her position sunning herself on her towel.

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

I asked about school...

I thought you might like a drink...

"So what school do you go to?" I asked.

"Actually, I got my MBA last year. Soooo... I don't."

"Where did you get your degree?" I asked.

"UCLA."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know. I got a decent scholarship and my parents helped."

"Are you from California?"

"No, I'm from near here, but that was the school I picked," she answered.

"That's nice that you got to pick!"

"Did...you not get to...Oh. I'm sorry," she said, straightening her shoulder strap, brushing some sand off her left breast. I know college is expensive and I don't mean to make assumptions about your finances."

"I don't mean to talk about myself so much. Where do you go?" Layla asked.

I told her where I went and what I was majoring in.

"That's not real far from here," she noted. "Did you fly down here or drive?"

"Roadtripped," I said. "I drove down with my best friend and his roommates in a rental van."

"That's cool. I like roadtrips!"

"Where do you like to go?"

We discussed some of our favorite destinations for a bit, but I won't bore you with the non sexy details.

We discussed more non-sexy college and travel-related subjects.

(keep discussing school)

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

We discussed our respective ages...

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

"So, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" I ventured.

"Aww," she said. "That's sweet. Does it matter?"

She had avoided my age question. "Well, I was just curious."

"I am of legal age, . I won't get you in trouble if that's what you're getting at!" She touched my knee, which was thrilling.

"Just since you brought it up, you are over eighteen, right?" she said, suddenly a bit tense.

"Oh yeah, totally!" I assured her.

"Okay, cool."

"So... If I were to tell you I was 22, how many years older would that make you?" I fished out.

"All right. I'm 27."

"Really? You're 27?" I said, genuinely surprised. "You don't look it at all!"

"Is... that some kind of problem for you?"

Actually, it was.

"No, not at all!" I laughed. She was sexy and fun, no matter what age she was.

But, as a lay, I actually did have a problem.

We talked more about the slight generation gap, resulting in a hilarious "back in my day" type discussion about our favorite things growing up, which really weren't that different at all.

We continued talking at length about the ages we lost our virginity, what age people were our favorites to date, and what we thought about MILFs and sugar-daddies and cougars.

(press the age question)

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

Was she a virgin?

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

"So, are you a virgin?" I asked.

Layla's brow furrowed. "Why, are you?"

"No, of course not! Don't worry! I got experience."

"No really, are you a virgin, I'm asking," I said.

"Why-yy...are you asking me that?"

"I'm just curious, that's all. You brought it up, actually."

"I was being funny. I'm sorry if you took that seriously."

"So are you a virgin?"

Layla took off her sunglasses and glared. "Does that actually matter to you? Don't tell me you're one of those 'I only fuck pure white pussy where no dick has gone before' assholes. If so, you can totally skedaddle as far as I'm concerned.

So I did.

"So...about your virginity..."

"No. Okay?" she said, rummaging in her bag and coming up with a paperback book which she dropped threateningly on her towel, as if she'd rather read then talk to me.

That was a dealbreaker for me.

(Press Layla about her virginity)

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

We were dressed formally, but the weather was a bit warm...

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

There was nobody else on the beach but us. "So, Layla, I'm to understand that this particular section of beach is what is known as the 'nude' variety?"

"Yeah," she said, raising up to straighten the towel on the sand beneath her. "This is the nude beach."

"Well, if that's the case," I continued, "I think we might potentially be breaking some kind of law."

"What?"

"There's even a sign here. Look. You may encounter nude bathers."

Layla smiled. ", you don't have to be nude here. It's clothing optional, not clothing prohibited."

"Well, I don't know," I said, looking around for the authorities. "I think we're both breaking all kinds of local ordinances. And I wouldn't want you to get in trouble. You've lived here all your life! What would people say?"

"Are you saying you believe there might be some kind of nudity police?

"I'm just trying not to get arrested during Spring Break," I insisted, "and I don't think you should either. You're going to have to take off your suit. Or just the top at least; that will help out and the nudity police will go easy on you. And because."

"Because what?"

"Tanlines."

Layla laughed. "You first."

", if you want to get naked on the nude beach, there's nothing stopping you."

It was time to drop trou.

(My goodness, we're supposed to be nude here?)

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

I found her fascinating...

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I had to admit, "I find you absolutely fascinating, Layla."

"You do? Well that's sweet of you to say. You are special in your own ways, , I'm sure!"

"No, I mean really," I continued. "There's something different about you that I can't put into words."

"I'm going to guess it's my very revealing bikini!" she said, rubbing her arm.

"Well, yes, there is that. I do find you incredibly attractive.

"No, it's not just that.

I paused. "It's not that.

I mean, it's almost spooky how perfect you are. It's almost like someone designed you on a computer and put you here specifically to attract me. I almost didn't find you again, but look–here we are!"

"Hunh," she said after a moment. "I've always been here. I mean, I've always lived in this area and we ran into each other by accident. I guess you could attribute it to fate, or some kind of design." She pushed her sunglasses up her nose. "Things happen for a reason. I don't see why I'm any more fascinating than any other girl here."

"But you are!" I insisted. "I don't understand quite why. Most of these other girls I've met just seem shallow and vague. Like... Almost like there isn't any thought behind them. They're just tits and vaginas and luscious booty!"

"Well, let me ask you a question, . With these other girls you're calling 'shallow', what's your average T2F?"

"'T2F'? What are you talking about.

"Time-to-fuck," she replied. "How long do you know these girls before you stick it in them?"

"Uh. Not very long. Everybody is out here partying. Half an hour? If that? Some of them I didn't even talk to."

"Well, it makes sense. You're meeting these girls and jumping right to the sex part, where usually there's weeks of dating and buildup. You're throwing all your attention at the pussy instead of the person! I'm not accusing you of anything, but if your T2F is low, so is your investment." She brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "You and I, we have a little history. We have a still-increasing T2F. We know a few things about each other and we've got things to talk about. I didn't just take you home right when we met, or I'd probably be in just about the middle of a list of pussy you tapped during vacation. That's just the way it works. In the highly-compressed scheme of the Spring Break mating ritual, we're practically married."

"And I'm not moralizing," she continued. "I've had my share of hookups and one-night stands and booty calls and friends with benefits. I've just learned to enjoy the journey a little more than the destination sometimes."

"You could make that into a motivational poster and sell it, I think."

"I'm sure someone already has."

"Layla, are you some kind of angel sent from heaven?"

"No, ."

"Okay. Are you some kind of demonic siren who crawled up out of this ocean to lure me here to the beach? Is this place a ruse to lure tourists to their doom? Are you planning to paralyze and drag me down into the depths of Atlantis where your hot lesbian mermaid brood are waiting for you to return so you can all feast on my liver to sustain your immortality?"

"Um... Also no."

"My point–" Layla squinted real hard with her palm to her forehead, "I'm just saying if you think of people like objects, the sex is going to be about as memorable as it is with an object. Objects aren't events. I speak from experience, being a fan myself of all kinds of pleasure devices."

"So you're saying I should have events, and treat objects like objects. And not people!"

"R-right. I think."

"You know what, Layla? I think I've learned something new today."

"Well, I'm glad!"

"And you know what? Knowledge and understanding both make me really horny," I decided.

"Me too, actually," she grinned.

I gazed down at Layla. She was the most fascinating creature I'd encountered in my entire experience here.

(discuss your fascination with Layla)

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

Your fascination with Layla

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

"Oh yeah?" Layla asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"But then...you'd be blocking the sun. And I wouldn't get a suntan," she replied.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah."

"But, , you're all naked and sweaty and wet. If you did that, then I would be sweaty and wet."

"Well, my plan is to get you naked and sweaty and wet!"

"Oo," she purred. "If we're both naked and sweaty and wet, then what will happen?"

I had to admit she had a point.

Perhaps more nudity would convince her...

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

"Enough about you, let's talk about me a minute!" I said.

"Okay," she said, one eyebrow raised.

"How do I look naked? Honest opinion."

"Well... Move back just a little."

I took a step back on the sand and struck a "statue gleaming in the sun" pose.

"Okay... Once again, you have really nice eyes,

a striking profile,

a handsome face,

above-average looks,

a body I would love to cuddle up to,

nice body

hot body

and smooth skin."

with the right amount of manly chest hair."

She looked me up and down, "I have no complaints, really."

"Really?" I said, "But now that you've seen... What about the...you know?"

"What?"

"The whole... package?"

"I just told y–oh!" She rolled her eyes, but still seemed amused. "I already said. Your dick is nice."

"'Nice' could go either way."

"Okay. , you have the largest and most beautiful penis I have ever seen," she said with all honesty. "Does that work for you?"

"Well, you don't need to exaggerate," I insisted. "But thank you!"

"I do like a guy who's natural and hairy like you are.I do appreciate the manscaping. Your trim is outstanding.You shave your balls, right? That's hot.I'm all about the shaved pubes... Oo. So smooth and sexy! And...the full erection is a little hard to ignore."

"Right!"

"To be truthful, I'm accumulating a combined score of looks, body, talent, interview, and evening wear, you did fine in the swimsuit competition. Turn around again?"

"What?"

"Show me what's behind the scenes."

I turned around, flexing my glutes, hands on hips, glancing back at her over my shoulder.

"Sixteen?"

"Huh?"

"That's what it says on your butt," she pointed out. "One, six."

I tried to see my ass, ending up turning in complete circle like a dog chasing its tail. "Oh!"

"Is that like 'inspected by...?' Do you have fifteen older siblings and that was the only way your parents could keep track of you?"

"No... I..."

"Is that like a test score? Sixteen out of twenty, cause that's a B-minus which is pretty good..."

"There was a contest–"

"Is it a tattoo? I like tattoos! Or are you stuck in some kind of endless time-loop and this is like the sixteenth time you've met me? Oh that would be cool!"

"Pirate booty contest." I finally said. "They wrote it in permanent marker."

"Well, you know washable markers and wet buns are a losing combination," she grinned. "I give you a seven out of ten for your butt score."

"Only a seven? That's a C!"

"Nice ass."

"Nice!?"

"Don't judge the competition prematurely, this goes toward your overall combined score..."

Competition?

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you did well in the swimsuit competition, but there are many more categories to go..." Layla said.

Categories?

My body spasmed in crazy involuntary contortions

as I lost control and emptied my balls into the Swedish girl's pussy uh uh uhh unnnhhhh! losing my mind for that second where I can only quiver and O-face before collapsing exhausted, drained, and dehydrated.

as I pounded my load into the Swedish girl's pussy, held it in deep...hips shuddering, cresting over the hill as I gushed, my hot semen overflowing from her stuffed hole, dripping from her downward-facing clit and running back over my scrotum to greet my asshole as if it were an old friend.

as my orgasm started, but I managed to pull out and land most of my spattering load skeet skeet skeet across pale white Swedish buns and dusky crack, the rest of it running hotly over my fist as I jerked the pipes clear.

I collapsed exhaustedly over the double stack of nubile Nordic hotties; the bottom one breathlessly proclaiming my sexual prowess in her native tongue: "Åh, Björn ... Stå upp! Just nu! Jag måste kissa!"

Scor'd!

Weird side tangent: Sometimes when I masturbate, I fantasize about this couple I call Vlad and Natasha. They're both terribly beautiful, twenty-something blond Russians. In this fantasy scenario the government oppresses and controls the breeding of the populace (long complicated scenario, anyway...) Vlad and Natasha are strangers, but are brought naked into a room for mating and the lurid entertainment of a long table of strangers in suits and fuzzy hats and coats who direct their every action.

Vlad and Natasha are both hot. They know what their government is doing is reprehensible, but their lust for each other is instant and enormous. They can't be enjoying this too much or they betray the resistance, and it's this that gets my rocks off: the looks they give each other; so full of conflicted emotion, so wanting, so knowing it's wrong, so wanting more but wishing it could be different.

That was pretty much the intensity in Layla's eyes as my hand slid over her breast and cupped it... You're going to do all the dirty things you want to me, I can't help it, and I don't want to like it, but I'm so turned on... I'm sure my Russian story was the furthest thing from her mind...

But it worked. I squeezed her breast, examining, evalutating, watching her defiant lust reaction...her hard nipple pressing the center of my palms, smushing in a circle, a figure-eight sweep to the other one, squeezing...evaluating...gently pinching the nipple as she gasped, our lips crashing together in desperate kisses then pulling apart.

I continued to explore Layla's chest as she arched her back, letting me have my fill of pawing her soft flesh, the hard nipples, the quivering rise and fall of them with her breath.

We continued to make out.

I slid my hand down her body.

Layla sprawled gorgeously on her towel,

her petite, slender body

her sculpted, firm body

her lush, curvaceous body

her ample, cuddly body

completely nude, her gorgeous breasts and crotch laid bare to the sun.

her petite, slender body

her sculpted, firm body

her lush, curvaceous body

her ample, cuddly body

on display, bare breasts revealed like a proudly glistening statue, only a tiny triangle of orange lycra barely concealing the intriguing mound of her crotch.

her petite, slender body

her sculpted, firm body

her lush, curvaceous body

her ample, cuddly body

an artist's vision; the most lovingly-drawn erotic pinup ever conceived, clad only in her fire neon orange, minimal-coverage bikini top and high-cut bottoms. I would have drawn her like one of my French girls, unfortunately, I didn't actually know anyone from France, and my art skills were rather poor despite one ill-considered life drawing prerequisite I attempted for three weeks my freshman year.

facedown, her pert buns on cheeky display, her bikini only a suggestion of coverage; just a brief orange border encircling her waist, spawning a narrowing strip of center string nestling, and then disappearing in the deep crevice between the cheeks like an afterthought. The velvet skin of her smooth ass was only slightly less tanned than the rest of her, suggesting she was no stranger to lying unashamedly nude in the sun, but maintained a hint of an alluring tanline created by another less-revealing swimsuit she likely wore on other occasions.

My genitals stirred at the sight of succulent womanflesh, and we were clearly off on a trip to the Leaning Tower of Penis, I feared. I shifted slightly, hoping to keep a semblance of control.

My shlong throbbed its way toward a full erection, pressing uncomfortably against my shorts and creating a huge bulge that would have been embarrasing at age twelve solving a problem at the blackboard.

There was no stopping it. My dick was fully hard, standing straight out. There was no possible way to avoid the horizontal elephant in my shorts. I tried adjusting a bit, dressing it down my left leg, but these were Rick's swimtrunks, not mine, and they were half-thigh length instead of knee-length. So when my erection popped through the mesh pouch on inside, my cockhead threatened to peek out from the leg hole...in the room. My only strategy was to ignore it completely.

"Actually, isn't really my name."

"I figured as much," Layla said suspiciously. Nobody I've ever met has the name Jericho."

"It's not?"

"No," I admitted. It's actually... "

I mean, my god. She was almost thirty. I didn't want to waste my college years horndogging after someone old enough to be a soccer mom or the cafeteria lunch lady. I wouldn't mind being with a girl slightly older than me, but over-25 is a dealbreaker.

I was polite though, and after a pleasant conversation we said our goodbyes and I returned to ride out Spring Break surfing some less wrinkly pussy. Hope you enjoyed my story!

Dear Fucked-up by the Fountain of Youth,

What.

No, seriously. WHAT?

Really? You're going to refuse a hot lay with someone you obviously shared an attraction with based on a five-year age difference (that doesn't span the legality barrier of course) because of some screwy notion that older women aren't worth your time and undeserving of your lust? FIVE YEARS???

Are you blithely unaware that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s? There is a reason they call older women 'cougars'. They know how to tear your shit up one side and down the other in the sack and leave you begging for more.

Wasn't that YOU complaining about young girls' 'inexperience' at the beginning of this way-too-long nightmare of a missive? Older, secure women have jobs, bank accounts, fewer hangups, homes of their own, confidence...they don't need anything BUT your hot rod satisfying them after-hours! This lady was TOTALLY into you! All women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors are sexy. Hell, send us her number (if you can manage to remember it!) and we'll show her the hot, sexy funtimes you missed out on!

Time ticks ever-steadily forward, and every minute your hard-on isn't buried inside someone you love (or at least someone you like a whole lot) is a minute you risk regretting when the Grim Reaper knocks on your door to take you for that long ride in the back seat of his black 1957 Chevy.

Keep on Thrusting,

ThrustLust

It kind of fell apart from there. We had a nice chat but the sex never happened. Why in the world would a girl hate giving blowjobs?

Dear Broseph Bereft of Blowjobs,

Dude. Take it from your bruh who has had experience giving occasional head, fellatio is not always the most comfortable nor relaxing thing to perform. Your airway can be in question. Sometimes it makes your jaw sore. Those porn clips where three guys take turns fucking a girl's throat making her gag audibly are advanced-level performance art, not pleasant and enjoyable sex play. And really, there's no hard and fast rule that a lady has to suck your dick. It feels good and it's hot and exciting, but if she's letting you put it in her, why must there be compulsory events leading up to part she likes? You missed her cues: you were having light pre-coital banter looking for answers you liked, and she was plumbing your depths by throwing a curveball meta-question.

If you ever do experience a partner averse to something you want, you sometimes need to let them meet you on their own terms. If she's not into going down on you, treat her right. Invite her to sit on your face in reverse (like you're going to 69) and while you're giving her the best eating out she's ever had, give her the opportunity to play with your cock if she wants to. She'll probably give you a handjob, even though handjobs from girls are mediocre because they can't possibly understand completely what you are feeling and how to do it the way you want (I rarely come from a handjob that isn't nearly an hour of brute force mangling that is pretty unpleasant all around), Give her the opportunity to inspect you and get accustomed to your anatomy with no pressure. Encourage her to play with your balls (gently) and breathe on your cock and brush her face on it, all the while telling her how good it feels. Promise you'll warn her before you come so it's not an unpleasant surprise. Let her be the instigator so she doesn't feel forced or violated. Given some room to experiment, eventually she'll get curious enough to want a taste. Be gentle and don't get angry if she can't or she's reluctant. Most of all, don't miss out on a potential good thing like you did by having rigid parameters. Don't scare her off by demanding she let you shove your dick in her mouth.

Keep on Thrusting,

ThrustLust

What happened? Why did she leave me? How did she get the towel out from under me?

I did get a message at the hotel that "Layla wanted to make sure you were okay," but there was no return phone number. What gives?

Dear Studmuffin Sleeping Beauty,

You were doing pretty well, but if you're one of those guys whose orgasm cues a nearly-instant coma, it's always better to make sure your girl is satified before you get your own rocks off. Pull out occasionally, change positions, take snack and hydration breaks. Maybe inform her you're a very sound sleeper after sex. We're glad you didn't die too.

Oh, and never come in her hairdo if you can avoid it.

I suspect she wasn't interested in following up with you personally, but may have had minions in the hotel relaying information back to her, and possibly watching over you. Sounds like she might have actually been your guardian angel. Too bad the sex part didn't work out!

We will be trying to re-create the jizz-rain anomaly you experienced in our test labs.

Keep Thrusting,

ThrustLust

This girl wanted me to go down on her and I barely knew her. I don't do that for anybody–I mean she pisses out of there and it's three inches from where she shits out of. And she wants me to put my face between her legs in all that mess? No thanks!

Dear Cautious, Contrary Cunnilinguist,

While your surface level reluctance to go down on a lady is somewhat understandable, your fears are unfounded.

I know that it's possible for any guy or girl to get a serious case of crotch-rot, but as long as your partner is clean, there is nothing to fear from getting up close and personal with 'Le Vagine.' That's French for 'the vagina'. Or even her nasty partner-in-crime, 'El Culo. That's Spanish for 'the asshole'.

Say it with me. Va-gi-na. Don't be afraid. va-GI-nuh. There, that's not so bad, is it?

While some people may mutually personally choose to abstain from oral sex with their partners, you're missing out on one of the most intimate pleasures of a woman's body! And you may be contributing to an overall negative-body image and requisite self-consciousness. How would you feel if your girl didn't want to go down on you? Have you ever smelled your balls after a day without a shower? Maybe you can't, but she will.

I don't know why some guys freak out and don't know what to do once they get down there, but that could also be part of your reluctance. All women look slightly different between their legs, but the anatomy is not that complicated; You've got the 'labia' (LAY-bee-uh) and the 'clitoris' (CLIH-tor-us or just 'clit'.) The labia are the pussy 'lips' and the clitoris is the bump at the top. It's a man in a boat; or as I like to think of it, a beautiful pink-hooded nun poking her head out through the red curtains of the convent to greet the sun.

When you get down there, just play with your tongue and your fingertips. Lick around her pussy and her thighs, gently nibble her labia and her clitoris. The clit is the most sensitive part, so don't rub it hard with your fingers, but your tongue is perfect. Stick your tongue inside, lick it like ice cream, strum it with your tongue like a guitar. Don't be afraid to do it wrong; usually once you're down there your lady is in no hurry, and she'll guide you to do it how she likes. Suprise her once in a while and lap at her asshole like an eager puppy. Just keep coming back to that clitoris and she'll keep coming, and coming back to you, honest. It's hot, fun, and tasty.

And for reference, avoid 'cunt' and any other elaborate terms found on the internet. Stick to'vagina' or variations of 'beautiful feminine flower of your ever-youthful womanhood' until you learn what terminology your girl uses and likes (or at least doesn't mind).

Your summer assignment: Next girl you are naked with, at least put your face down there, breathe on it, admire it. Brush your face against her pubic hair and tell her how beautiful the lovely feminine flower of her ever-youthful womanhood is. Enjoy the reaction. Advance at your own pace.

Keep on Thrusting,

ThrustLust

And so, long story short, we made love in various positions. You know how it goes.

Hope you enjoyed my letter!

Dear Doofus Fuck-us Interrup-tus,

Seriously, you're going to leave us with blue balls here? Just when it was getting good!

Party foul, man, party foul! Unsatisfactory!

Keep Thrusting! (without stopping unexpectedly and leaving our hardons hanging out over a cliff...)

ThrustLust

I ripped off the sunglasses so I could verify colors, then snatched up the binoculars and focused on the rocks.

There was a shapely woman just beyond the boulders. I could see just through the space between the two of them. She had blondredbrowndark hair and was sitting on a towel and–yes–was wearing a bright fire-orange bikini top...it looked exactly like Layla. It had to be. Same swimsuit and–

I had to get out there. I had to put on clothes. No I didn't, it was the beach. I had to put on swimtrunks. Did I need a shower first? No, there was no time, she might leave if I take too long.

I sprayed some deodorant all over myself and pulled on a still damp and very cold pair of swimtrunks hung over the bathtub–they might have been Rick's since our trunks both were very similar but it didn't matter!

Ugh! That was Froody's deodorant and it was Brut which is vile...okay, I'll take a detour through the hotel pool on the way out...surely that water has lots of chemicals in it and is very clean and...

I grabbed my wallet, hoping I'd have just enough time to buy a drink and take it to her...that was my reason for being there instead of just "Oh hey, fancy meeting you on the side of the beach with the perverts..."

I was a man on a mission.

Ugh. How about I skip a whole bunch of this shit?

So, I met Layla again on the beach...

El

7

4

1

1

Lying sideways wasn't too painful when I finally opened my eyes.

The hotel clock was an inane heiroglyph:

"Well, hello ! It's nice to see you again!" Layla said, lowering her sunglasses to look at me.

I'd made it all the way down to the hotel tiki bar via the swimming pool, and then straight out to the boulders bordering the hotel property in about six minutes flat. I tried not to breathe heavily, despite my lack of oxygen.

Layla was stretched out on a towel just on the other side of the boulders by the warning sign. The white sand blinded, and the ocean spread vast and glittering blue, roaring with foamy waves that crashed so loud in the distance I could almost feel the thudding in my chest.

"Are you here to practice some actual sentences on me this time?" she smiled.

"I was hoping we could have a drink, but I didn't quite expect it quite so soon!"

I'm a man of my word.

"You didn't come here to bring me another dollar, did you?" she grinned.

I said.

"So. Did you cast detect magic to find me out here, or did you just follow your magic missile?" she said, pushing her sunglasses up to gaze into the sky sultrily.

(At this point, we engaged in about ten minutes of witty, double-entendre-laced D&D gaming talk, which I won't bore your readers with the specifics of here.)

"I apologize, I didn't get a chance to wash your shirt yet," she said. "I'm sure it's going in with this afternoon's load, and it will be coming out real good pretty soon."

I had to admit I also hoped this afternoon's load would be coming real good pretty soon as well.

"It's okay. It's not like I need it right now," I said, tightening my stomach and trying to hold it in sort of flat.," I said, twisting a bit to make my muscles ripple attractively.," I said.

"Once I got used to the scent of your body spray, it kind of mellowed, and I sort of enjoyed smelling you all the way home." I had a smell? And it was pleasant?

"Well, it looks like we're someplace where we can chat privately. Your move, serial killer," she grinned.

I joked.

Okay, let's talk.

"So, have you finally arrived to fuck me so hard in every hole that I can't walk for the rest of the week?"

I said.

Actually that's not my name...

I presented the drink to her.

I wanted to chat with her.

May I join you?

So, do we just fuck right here, or what?

Your fascination with Layla

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

"You're not annoying me," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"I usually lay out for an uneventful hour, I'm glad for the entertainment."

"You are entertained?"

"Yes. Your attempts to impress me are amusing."

"In a good way?" I asked.

"Yeah. I can tell you're aren't actually very good at the partyboy fratbro thing."

"So the jig is up, hunh?"

"Your sense of humor goes a long way."

"Really?"

"Yes, ."

"Really?"

"Yes, especially if this is the last time you ask about it," she said.

"Really?"

"Yes, especially if this is the last time you ask about it."

"Are you sure I'm not annoying, Layla?"

"Hey look, a seagull!" she replied.

Are you sure I'm not annoying you?

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

My shameless state of arousal...

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

"Sorry about the...ah..."

"It's perfectly natural. Especially when experiencing the outdoors naked for the first time."

"I'M STIFF IN THE WIND!" I announced.

"Sorry again, about the–"

"Don't apologize. It happens all the time," Layla insisted.

"It happens a lot?"

"Well..."

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?"

"Mm? Hm?" I grunted, indicating my erection.

"Mm hm!" Layla responded.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

"It's ," I said.

"You're kidding right?"

"What?"

"Your name is actually Jericho?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, why?"

"It's...just an extremely odd coincidence."

"It's my name, though," I insisted.

"Sure enough! Nice to meet you, ," she smiled. "Hey, Carlos!"

The bartender returned, and handed her a wallet and a pair of glasses as they Euro-kissed each other over the bar, saying sexy things to each other in Spanish.

The bartender and I watched her walk away, her hips swaying under low cut denim like it was silk.

"So you know Layla?" he asked, thunking down my bottle of ColdBru...

...right on the napkin with Layla's number.

Nooooooooo–

All the sparkling moisture from the pit of icewater that kept it chilled for maximum enjoyment ran sultrily down the bottle when it bumped the bar like in a fucking commercial, soaking the napkin with her phone number.

–uuuuuuuuuuuu!

Carlos departed quickly, not quite unsure why I was convulsing... Okay, it was still readable if just a little blurred. Layla. Phone number. Lots of sevens and nines and twos. This napkin would be preserved with the utmost of caution, gently folded in my pocket, safe along with my keyring until tomorrow. Because I needed to lay down as soon as possible.

Bye, Carlos, bye, Hot Wet Sum–

I was fucking Layla in the missionary position...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued licking her boobs.

I just kept fucking her.

I kissed her as I fucked her.

I played with her tits.

I said dirty things to her...

I lifted her legs up.

I worked on her feet.

I moved my cockhead to press against her asshole.

I lowered her legs back to the towel

I pulled my dick out.

I was fucking Layla in the missionary position...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept kissing her.

I just kept fucking her.

I played with her tits...

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I lifted her legs up.

I worked on her feet.

I moved my cockhead to press against her asshole.

I lowered her legs back to the towel

I pulled my dick out.

I didn't see her at first because she wasn't right in front among the other girls competing for attention. But once I saw her, there may as well have been nobody else onstage:

She had the brightest, neon orange thong bikini bottoms strung up her butt I'd ever seen. She held back from the others, not clamoring for tips, dancing for her own self, slowly, seductively, off the beat as if she had her own song in her head. She was exactly my type:

and probably

with

and

Awyeah...

Layla's legs relaxed back onto the towel. "Oof, thanks, I was starting to cramp up a bit," she said.

And then...

Layla took in a breath and closed her eyes as I moved my hips, slowly at first, my cock sliding in and out of her tight pussy.

She was so wet that I easily plunged completely balls-deep into her, my pubic hair brushingthe smooth base of my shaft nudging against her clit. I held there a moment, gazing into her eyes, feeling her tunnel gently tighten around my shaft.

I moved my dick in and out, enjoying the slickness deep inside her warmth. Her legs tightened around my waist.

I fucked her a little faster, her hips edging a bit forward in rhythm to meet every gratifying thrust.

Our hips crashed together repeatedly, the sound of our sweaty flesh thup thup fump fump nnf nnff thup thup thup...

I saddled deep inside as Layla squeezed tight, holding my rod, then I pulled back and slipped out, my penis smearing against her bare pussythe narrow strip of her pubesher pubic hair twice before she raised up and I plunged into her warm slit again.

I could feel sweat trickling down my back as I continued thrusting deep inside Layla's vagina.

I pounded into her hard and fast, making her tits jigglewobble up and down with each thrust.

Layla's pussy felt so good, her body was writhing, her pelvis rotating, encouraging each thrust.

I felt Layla's inside flesh release just a little, new angle and ohhh deeper yess fuck yess...

Oh yeah... I was fucking her. I was fucking her so good It felt so good to just pound her eager pussy.

I pulled out of her slowly, watching her relaxed pussy lips cling wetly to my shaft as I withdrew, then mashing them back in for several hard thrusts before slowly pulling out again.

I her .

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad between her thighs.

I pulled out and jizzed...

BUKKAKE'D!!!

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I stopped doing stuff for a second.

I merged my aura with hers momentarily. Her root chakra was open and welcoming, and a high purple strand from her crown sought congress with mine.

Dry ground. Cracked a little. Wanting to send forth green beams to worship the Sun and give thanks for its energy. Thirsty.

I knew what she wanted and how to share it with her.

My stores of energy gushing fountainlike into hers.

Mmm.

I brushed my face across her soft, yielding domes of flesh, one nipple poking my cheek.

I kissed the valley of her cleavage, inhaling the coconut scent of her skin.

"Hey, where'd your face go?" she said.

I orbited her right breast with my tongue, drawing a line wet line around the peak in an inward spiral toward the nipple.

I brushed her nipple with my lips, the tip of my tongue flickering it momentarily. She gasped in a quick breath.

I molded my lips around her nipple, moving my tongue slowly back and forth on the tip. Layla grabbed the sides of my head and kept me there. Mphplghghglh

"Oh, god, your mouth feels so good, !"

My tongue swirled as I sucked in air, briefly cooling my lips and the flesh of her nipple. Layla giggled.

I pushed her breasts together and touched her other nipple with my toungue. Layla grabbed my wrists as her head dropped back in the sand.

Layla grabbed two fistfuls of my hair, manipulating my head to suck one nipple hungrily, then the other, then back to the first. "Yeah, suck them, ...nngh.

I very carefully touched my teeth to her nipple, applying just the tiniest bit of pressure and releasing it over and over like a little machine meant to barely chew her tits.

Layla growled and grabbed two fistfuls of beach towel on either side of her, her head moving side to side with her eyes shut.

Layla her .

Layla's feet were perfectly formed, smooth, sandblasted clean and dry from walking on the beach, and kissable.

"Just for the record," I ventured, "I have a thing for feet."

"Do you now?" Layla said, wiggling her toes enticingly.

I was fucking Layla in the missionary position...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued stimulating her feet.

I just kept fucking her.

I kissed her as I fucked her...

I played with her tits...

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I lifted her legs up.

I moved my cockhead to press against her asshole.

I lowered her legs back to the towel

I pulled my dick out.

I had seated myself on the sand in front of Layla with her foot in my crotch and mine in hers.

I gently positioned my foot on Layla's crotch, feeling the hot folds of her pussy flesh on the sole of my foot.

"Ooh, so weird! I love it!" Layla said, taking hold of my foot and pushing herself against it.

I aligned the warm length of my cock on the bottom of her foot and pressed them together.

I slapped my cock against Layla's beautiful foot as she ground her pussy on my own instep.

I wiggled my big toe against her purple inner pussy lips, slipping just inside the wet folds.

"I didn't know people actually did this!" she giggled.

I thrust my dick against the sole of her right foot while mushing my toes in a circle against her moist womanhood.

I fucked her feet.

I indulged my foot fetish...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued...

I stopped humping her thighs.

I rubbed my penis between her thighs.

I removed my foot from her crotch.

I wanted to rub my my toes on Layla's pussy.

And I guess you can imagine how it proceeded from there...

I spread her legs and went down on her.

I released her legs and hovered over her.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I was fucking Layla in the missionary position...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued rubbing her tits.

I just kept fucking her.

I kissed her as I fucked her...

I licked her breasts...

I said dirty things to her...

I lifted her legs up.

I worked on her feet.

I moved my cockhead to press against her asshole.

I lowered her legs back to the towel

I pulled my dick out.

I brought Layla's legs up in front of me, holding her feet together and cupping them. I brushed my chin against the soles of her feet.

"Ooh! Stubble! That tickles!"

I grabbed the suntan oil, poured a drop in my palm, then massaged Layla's feet, pressing my thumbs upward toward her toes.

"Oh my god, that's good, ." she groaned. "Did you ever think about becoming a massage therapist?"

"I don't know if I'd make it as a masseur, but I just like pretty feet," I grinned, working my fingers between her toes as she moaned gratefully.

I planted a kiss on the sole of Layla's left foot, letting them linger and breathing against them."

She squirmed, "Oh that tingles!"

I carefully moved my tongue from the soles of her foot up over the balls to her delicate toes.

I kissed each toe. This little piggy went to the beach, this little piggy took off their clothes. This little piggy got sucked, this little piggy got fucked, and this little piggy cried "Unnh uhh uhh nf ngf ngfh uhh Aaaahhhh!"

I took her big toe in my mouth and sucked it, gazing down at her. The expression on her face was incredible.

"Oh god, that's so hot!" Layla said, as I moved her smaller toes through my mouth like I was licking a fudgesicle. "Nobody's ever done that before!"

"Nobody's ever licked your feet before?"

"Never!"

I lavished Layla's foot with my tongue.

I rubbed my foot on her pussy.

I put my penis between her feet

I slapped my hard cock against Layla's pussy.

I rubbed my cockhead in circles against the entrance to her vagina, smearing her slick purple flesh around.

I thrust the length of my shaft against Layla's pussy, brushing the head of my dick in her pubic hair.

Layla held the length of my penis against her crotch, and I thrust it solidly between her hand and her labia several times.

Mm. Mmm. Mmm. Mm... I bludgeoned Layla's vagina with my heavy dick, enjoying the wet slapping sound.

I popped just the head of my cock between her delicate pussy lips and shook it vigorously by the hilt to make it vibrate in there.

I diddled her clit with the smooth flesh of my cockhead.

I slapped my heavy cock against her glistening clit.

I rubbed my penis all over the outside of her vagina.

We talked for a while and the conversation wrapped up. I bid Layla adieu and was off on my merry way. I don't know why, but I feel like I may have missed something.

Dear Prematurely Pre-empted the Procreation,

Dude.

I just facepalmed.

Join me: slap your face with your hand. Good. Now do that about ten more times a little harder.

She was so into you! Why would you... I just facepalmed again. You said you read our magazine regularly, so, what's the problem, Houston? Everything was clearly laid out for you. It was practically rehearsed, planned and...someone actually created a flow chart for you to get to the succeed box! It's like you went to Westworld Orlando and spent so much time on Kiddie Beach that you forgot to mount up and gallop over to Cougar Mountain where all the F-Ticket rides are. I blame our writing staff and our editors. Apparently we need to spend more time on outreach and education instead of sizzling articles and pictorals. More maps and connect the dots practice coloring pages. That's our fault, and we take responsibility.

Maybe you weren't into her after all that, and that's fine. But that's not how your story read to me. You can't fake chemistry, though, and I wasn't there. But...

I'm sending you a complimentary copy of our publication MODERN GAME FOR LAMERS which you should study, specifically chapter eight, 'How to Tell if They're Actually Into You Getting Into Them'. In fact, I'll bookmark that chapter (with a penis measurement bookmark, also complimentary.)

Are you done smacking yourself? Good.

Keep on Thrusting,

ThrustLust

"Oh yeah...Oh yes! Unnhh! Fuck yeah! Awyeah...Mmmm...Oh! Oh! Oooh! Uh-huh...I love I want I feel how the way to feel the feeling of your my that those hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty body mouth chest legs cock balls pussy clit titties ass asshole hand finger fingers feels feel move are is in on around inside against fucking sucking rubbing my your mine yours hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty bodymouthchestlegscockballspussyclittittiesassassholehandfinger fingers , Layla, baby, lover, woman, lady, Mami!"

"," Layla .

"

Yeahhhh, so hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty and hotwethardsoftsmoothhairytightbigjuicydirtynasty!"

So in on around inside against fucking sucking rubbing it!"

Yeah...hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty body mouth chest legs cock balls pussy clit titties ass asshole fuck... fucksooOOOGOODget on it..."

UnnnhhhHH don't stop! UnnnHHh! Mmm in on around inside against fucking sucking rubbing it goood...fuckyeah!"

One of the flying t-shirts came right at me. I held out a hand and would have caught it, but a girl in a cheerleader outfit tackled it out of the air like she was the shark and it was Samuel L. Jackson in that movie Deep Blue Sea.

In my pocket I located what I hoped was a crumpled bill and not the receipt for the sunglasses I bought earlier. Hey! Moshing toward the stage. Hey! Not you, Heather. No, not you Heather–

The DJ blared on the loudspeaker over the music, Let's show them all some love, your HOT WET SUMMER NIGHTS TEE SHIRT GIRLS...sponsored by generous support from ColdBru Lager...if you're not drinking ColdBru, you're not a cold bro!...

Dudebros pushed me back because MOAR BOOBIES.

I gave up when they started firing souvenir t-shirts out of cannons and I lost track of the girl in the orange thong. Resignedly, I pulled up an empty stool at the tiki bar and signalled for a beer.

Layla was on all fours in front of me...

Layla was a bad girl!

I caressed her ass soothingly.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I ate her out.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Layla was on all fours in front of me...

I said dirty things to her.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I rubbed her ass.

I spanked her butt.

I ate her out.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Out in the ocean where the waves were bigger, a group of musclebound, darkly tanned surfer dudes appeared to be trying to get themselves killed in the raging churn.

I was fucking Layla from behind...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept flicking her bean

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I played with her tits.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I spanked her booty.

I teased her with my schlong.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I cuddled behind Layla on the towel, and she wiggled her bare butt up against my crotch; the length of my erection nestled comfortably between her beautiful asscheeks.

Mmm.

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on her...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

I was fucking Layla from behind...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I played with her tits.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I spanked her booty.

I teased her with my schlong.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I put my arm around Layla's waist, feeling her smooth belly, my fingers sliding over her soft pubic hairsmooth mound to the nubbin of her clit. I circled it gently while I fucked her.

I moved my fingers in a V over her pussy lips, feeling my dick plunging between them in and out of her.

I diddled her clitoris with my fingers as I fucked her.

I stroked her clit side to side with my fingertips, thrumming it between each one.

I gently pinched her clitoris and rotated my fingers while thrusting inside her.

I wiggled my fingers on her pussy, spreading it wide for my dick.

My dick slipped out, and I pressed my palm against her hot mound. I poked several times against the slick folds before finding the hole and sliding through my fingers into her again.

I her as I my .

Layla and I were spoonfucking on our sides...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept caressing her boobs.

I pumped my dick in and out of her.

I kissed her.

I gave her the reacharound.

I said dirty things to her...

I pulled my dick out.

Layla and I were spoonfucking on our sides...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued to flick her bean.

I pumped my dick in and out of her.

I kissed her.

I held her breasts with my hands.

I said dirty things to her...

I pulled my dick out.

Layla and I were spoonfucking on our sides...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued tasting her skin.

I pumped my dick in and out of her.

I put my hands on her boobs.

I gave her the reacharound.

I said dirty things to her...

I pulled my dick out.

I .

"Okay, , I think that's plenty of sun protection for now," she observed. "Do me a favor though: Untie my top so I won't have a line across my back, will you?"

Absolutely.

My hand found its way between her legs, brushing past her soft pubes, encountering the warm gather of soft pussy flesh down there.

My fingers explored the moist folds of hot flesh between her legs.

Layla rotated her hips against the press of my palm, slickening it with her juice.

"Oh, yeah," she sighed.

I moved my palm against her pussy, spreading the wetness all over her crotch.

"Yeah, rub my pussy, !"

I spread my fingers with my hand between her legs, opening her slick pussy lips between them.

"Ohh, my pussy's so hot for you!"

I found her clit and and moved my fingers up and down on either side of it.

Layla panted appreciatively, pushing her crotch into my hand.

I bent my middle finger, hooking it just inside the the warm slippery slit inside her.

I carefully plunged my middle finger up inside her pussy, feeling it sink into the steamy press of her vaginal walls.

"Uhhhhhghh!" Layla moaned.

I withdrew my finger carefully, circling her increasingly moist flesh to wet my fngers, and then plunged it in her pussy again.

She grabbed the back of my neck, "You're making me so fucking wet, !"

I've read enough books to know what's up down there, so I curled my middle finger and searched up the front inside wall of her pubic bone for the spot.

"Oh, , right there, right there, right there!" she hissed pulling my face close to hers.

Layla spread her legs wide and rotated her hips enthusiastically as my middle finger tapped against her g-spot inside of her.

"Ohhh. So glad I don't have to draw you a map, thank you!"

I pulled my finger out and licked my index and middle fingers–She fucking tasted like rain–wetting them thoroughly, then carefully inserted both fingers into her.

"Yeah!" Her voice was whispery and high-pitched.

I fingerfucked Layla with my index and middle fingers, curling them around her pubic bone and gently tugging with my fingers on her spot. Her legs shuddered and moved in spasms.

Layla squeezed her own tits, quivering as I plunged two fingers in and out of her slit.

"Yeahhh, right there!Unnnnnnnnnghhh!"

Layla grabbed my nipples and squeezed hard–oh shit!–sending surprise lightning down my chest to my ballsack. I moved my fingers inside her slick wetness and she rode them like I was puppeteering her.

I continued .

I was on top of Layla...

I continued fingering her pussy.

We made out.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I played with her tits.

I licked her tits.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I went down on her.

I teased her with my schlong.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

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Layla leaned into my neck, intensely licking a square inch of my shoulder as my hand slid slowly down her stomach, past her belly button, encountering the border of elastic above her crotch. My thumb sliped underneath, and I gripped a fistful of lycra tightly in my hand. Her breath caught in a gasp.

"I want these off of you," I whispered low into her kisses, tugging on the bikini bottoms.

"Me too," she said, controlling the back of my head with one hand, pulling my lips to hers for desparate kisses, her other hand helping me work on the knots at her hips preventing her from being naked. We fumbled, tugged, and finally the fabric pulled free. My hand sought her crotch, but she held her legs tightly together, intending not resistance, but delay.

"I want all of you inside me," insisted Layla, her mouth not leaving mine.

"I want to be inside you..."

"Not your fingers. Your big fuckin' dick."

"Uh-hunh."

The towel was getting bunched up, and we were scrabbling in sand.

We broke apart, sitting slightly apart, panting. Layla exhaled through O-lips.

"Stand up a sec." We stood and she picked up the towel to shake all the sand off it, then spread it neatly again, this time unfolded to it's full double-size.

She reclined like a tasteful nude magazine model, knees together, posing enticingly.

Breathe.

Then, all the sexuals did happen (from behind)...

Fuckyeah.

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"The sun is pretty bright," I said. "How are you fixed for SPF?"

Layla rubbed her fingers across my arm, ", I think we're both about as oiled up and slippery as we can get. We should be protected from the UV pretty completely.

I guess you're right...

"I suppose I could turn over and get some color on my backside–while I have some help. It's so hard to reach the middle of my back..."

Okay, let me help you with that!

"Let's not forget about you. You know the sun here can be brutal if you're not used to it," Layla cautioned.

Sure, I could use some suntan oil.

Her bosom was a wonder to behold:

gentle small hills of flesh hiding subtly, betrayed only by the bumps of perky nipples poking through the fabric of her top.

small, upturned runway-model rounds swelling beneath the fabric of her bikini top.

a tightly-pressed cleavage disappearing under her bikini top, which was stretched tightly over generous, classically perfect boobs which swayed just enough when she moved to firmly hold my interest. And hold my firm...well...you know where I'm going with this.

mammoth, pillowy flesh strained the limits of her bikini top, wobbling and jiggling with every movement. My fantasy would be to glaze one of them with gallons of my jizz, then curl up with my face againt the other dry one and fall asleep.

Her breasts were

beautiful, barely there, flat swells of modest flesh like spoonfuls of creamy pudding dolloped onto a countertop. She sported prominent, rosy nipples that pointed slightly upward. Perfect.

beautiful, pert teardrops gracing her chest, completely within the slightly paler triangle of burnished tanline from her top. If she jumped up and down, they would jiggle, but only barely, and that would be awesome.

soft generous globes that hung just slightly, scenic in the distance on her chest. They looked natural to me, but were the perfect, grapefruit-sized ideal that plastic surgeons aim for. The peaks were perfectly round, pinkish amber, and the bumps of her nipples pointed just slightly away from each other as if they each stubbornly refused to acknowledge their mate's perfection.

fun-sized, extra large, pillowy-soft bundles of kinetic movement, jiggling or swaying with each small movement Layla made. I wanted to crawl in between them and live there, gently battered by each wobble and shake. They were heavy enough that they attempted escape to the sides each time she leaned back, but they'd always reunite when necessary.

My genitals stirred at the sight of succulent womanflesh, and we were clearly off on a trip to the Leaning Tower of Penis, I feared. I shifted slightly, hoping to keep a semblance of control.

My shlong throbbed its way toward a full erection, pressing uncomfortably against my shorts and creating a huge bulge that would have been embarrasing at age twelve solving a problem at the blackboard.

There was no stopping it. My dick was fully hard, standing straight out. There was no possible way to avoid the horizontal elephant in my shorts. I tried adjusting a bit, dressing it down my left leg, but these were Rick's swimtrunks, not mine, and they were half-thigh length instead of knee-length. So when my erection popped through the mesh pouch on inside, my cockhead threatened to peek out from the leg hole...in the room. My only strategy was to ignore it completely.

"Oh fuck!"

"Yeah baby!"

"Here it comes..."

"Oh fuuuuuuuck"

"FUUUUUUUUCK NGNHH!"

skeet...

skeet...

skeet... (squirting all over her pussybellyfeetthighs!!!)

skeet...

I couldn't help myself, I was too far over the first hill of the roller coaster and my stomach muscles were fluttering like I was falling.

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty in Layla's embrace.

I couldn't help myself, I was too far over the first hill of the roller coaster and my stomach muscles were fluttering like I was falling.

"Oh god, Oh Layla," I said holding her head.

"Mm?" Layla said, her mouth full.

Mmf... Mmmmmmgh... uuuGGhhhhh OOOOOFFF!

Layla figured out what was happening and let me squirt in her mouth. Luckily my load was normal, and she was able to rock her head back and swallow.

I exploded in Layla's mouth, and my pearly goo overflowed her lips. She turned and spat my load in the sand next to the towel.

"That exceeded expectations, I think!" she laughed, wiping her mouth.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out of the loop–" she grabbed me around the neck and kissed me hard, her lips still wet with my sauce.

"Worth it." she said, licking her lips. "Have you been eating pineapple?"

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty in Layla's embrace.

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty in Layla's embrace.

I couldn't hold back, I was going to blow my wad, and I grunted, thrusting between Layla's gleaming thighs until thick ropes of my come oozed down the insides of her thighs.

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty on top of Layla between her gooey thighs.

I got up off the towel and stood before her. Her feet were slick with suntan oil, and I positioned them on either side of my hard cock.

"Are you gonna footfuck me?"

"Yeah, baby."

"You're such a dirty boy, ."

I pressed her feet together and vigorously thrust my cock between them, eyes closed, gaping up into the sky.

"You look so hot worshipping my feet like that!" Layla said.

Ugh! Ogh. Ooh. Mph. Mff. Yeah. Nf. Nff. Ugh! My dick slid between the soles of her feet like they were sticks of butter.

(Not that I have actually fucked two sticks of butter, but...)

My breaths hitched raggedly as I rubbed my cock between Layla's feet.

"Oh my god," Layla said. "Are you actually going to come like that?

(I definitely was if I kept this up any longer...)

"Unnh! Nuhhh...unnhh! I'm gonna come!" I said breathlessly.

"Yeah, do it babe," she commanded.

Unnhhh...UNNHHHHHHHUHHH!

My cock spurted glossy fat drops of semen that rained down on her stomach and oozed down her shins.

"Wow," Layla said, sounding genuinely impressed.

I panted and caught my breath, looking down at the mess I made on her.

FootGlaz'd!

I kept fucking Layla's feet.

Enough of that.

A stream of random filth came out of my mouth.

My enormous vocabulary was sure to be a turn-on:

Say it!

I said...

I said...

I said...

I ejaculated (verbally)

"Oh yeah...Oh yes! Unnhh! Fuck yeah! Awyeah...Mmmm...Oh! Oh! Oooh! Uh-huh...I love I want I feel how the way to feel the feeling of your my that those hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty body mouth chest legs cock balls pussy clit titties ass asshole hand finger fingers feels feel move are is in on around inside against fucking sucking rubbing my your mine yours hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty hot wet hard soft smooth hairy tight big juicy dirty nasty bodymouthchestlegscockballspussyclittittiesassassholehandfinger fingers , Layla, baby, lover, woman, lady, Mami!" I shouted randomly.

"Um. What?" Layla responded.

"Okay, before today if you'd asked me if it were literally possible to fuck someone's brains out, , I would have said no."

"You do and you'll clean it up!" Layla declared.

"If you're having some kind of stroke due to all the bloodflow in your dick, , you need to let me know somehow."

"I've got nine and one pre-dialed on my cell phone. Give the word and I'll have an ambulance here."

"Tap my hand three times if you need medical assistance, ."

"That's so hot when you talk dirty to me, ."

"Do you habla Ingles, ?" Layla asked.

"Do you have lipstick stamps on your passport, ?"

"Lampshade! Fire pussy gelatin, in my throbbing rock-hard cellar door, vibraphone, !" Layla responded, getting into it.

" yeah, my . That's ," Layla replied.

"Yeah, he'll be back in a minute," I said.

"I'm not sure where he went, he's been gone a while. But hey," I said.

"You looked amazing dancing up there. You should have won, really."

"I gotta say, you were better than all those other girls. You should have beaten all of them!"

"All those other girls up there were hos. You were the best one!"

"You are the sexiest thing I've seen here at Spring Break. All three days, honestly."

"Just so you know, your body is smokin' girl! I would give you the best titties award any day!"

She rolled her eyes and sighed a bit since I had completely disregarded her question, then seemed to shake it off and turned back...almost as if she was used to this sort of attitude.

"Well, thanks," she said. "I don't come here to win, I just like to dance," she said, with a twinkle in her eye.

"Thanks. I'm not really in it to win, I don't need to win a bar tab here, seriously," she said, grinning wryly.

"I was the best ho? I guess that's something," she said as if she meant it.

"Oh, all three days? Wow. I guess I'm flattered." She said it seriously but I think she was being sarcastic.

"Oh, I know, circuit training, but...thank...you? I've actually got a shelf full of Best Titty awards so I'm not sure if I have room up there for another one," she said with one eyebrow raised.

I sat there awkwardly a moment next to her before deciding to speak more.

We sat awkwardly for a moment while I tried to think of something else to say. Finally, she broke the silence. "Hey, I can read signals. I can tell you want to say something, so let me end your suffering and make this a little easier."

She bent down to get something from her bag, and I sort of expected mace or a rape whistle or a taser, but she came back with a pen and wrote on the cocktail napkin in front of me.

"Here's my number. Tomorrow, if you remember all this when you're not high or drunk and can come up with actual, grown-up, adult words, we can try again." She touched my arm. "Listen, I do appreciate that you're not hitting on me like a horny baboon. That's rare here. And you're kinda cute too." She winked at me and zipped the pen back in her bag.

"So," I said, fumbling forward. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Actually," she said, reaching behind her head and gathering up all the hair off her neck between her fingers, "I'm pretty much done for tonight. But I appreciate the thought. I mean, that's a polite...line. Thank you for not being a complete asshole frat bro."

She let her hair fall behind her again and bent down to retrieve a pen from her zipped bag. "Tell you what. If you remember this tomorrow, and maybe feel like getting together..." She scribbled on a cocktail napkin. "Those are my digits. If you're not already after some other piece of hot tail by tomorrow morning, hit me up, and then maybe we'll see about that drink." She shoved the napkin toward me an inch on the bar.

"Um, okay!" I grinned.

"Oh, hey!" I said, uncrumpling the sweaty dollar bill from my pocket and smoothing it out on the bar. "I meant to give you this! While you were dancing!" She eyed the damp Washington as I held it proudly out to her. "The song ended too quick though, and I got pushed back by the bro mob." Her eyes narrowed. "You know, as a tip."

She smiled sweetly–as if I'd offered her my first-grade crayon drawing. "Well... Thank you! she said accepting it between two fingers. "I really don't dance for tips, you know. But let's tip the bartender, shall we?" She dropped the bill into a glass down the bar that had some quarters in it.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I didn't mean to insult you..."

"It's okay!" she said, placing a gentle hand on my arm. "You didn't insult me at all. It's sweet. It's what–" she looked around "–all this is for, really. It's fine. Tell you what..."

She bent down and unzipped her bag to retrieve a pen, then scribbled on a cocktail napkin on the bar. "It's late, and I need to go to sleep. If you aren't with someone and aren't completely wrapped up in Spring Break sometime later this week, send me a text. Maybe we can have a drink or something."

"Okay, that sounds great!"

"So. Do you play Dungeons and Dragons?" I asked.

"Uhhh... Do you?" she responded in a tone like I had asked whether she liked pooping on people's chests during foreplay.

"I do... I mean, sometimes. My roommates like it a lot and I'll jump in."

"That's cool, I guess. I got tired of vanilla D&D, but I've been playing Vampire the Masquerade with a group of my girlfriends, have you played that?"

"No, but I've heard of it." What?

"I play a Toreador of course, and we all get together on Wednesday nights and fantasize about how we trade men like food! It's so fun!"

"Really?" I said, and she eagerly told me everything about the game over about five minutes.

"...you really ought to try it sometime. I mean, you can't be in my all-girl lesbian brood, but you should look into it. It's a lot cooler than plain D&D."

"It sounds like it!"

"I gotta go, it's late," she said glancing at her bare wrist as if there were a watch there and then rubbing it as if she knew she wasn't wearing a watch all along. She bent to retrieve a pen from her zipper bag. "Let's talk more though. I mean...if you want to?"

"Sure! Definitely."

She scribbled on a bar napkin. "Here's my cell. You can text or call. I mean, I know I barely know you, but let's have a drink or something this week."

"Sounds good!"

"Hey, do you need something dry to put on?" I suggested. "You can have my shirt..." and I started peeling it up over my head.

"You really don't need to do that... Okay. Um. Thank you..."

I straightened my shirt right-side-out and shook it to the side, handing it to her proudly.

Suddenly she reached out and grabbed my chest, squeezing and shaking the flesh. "Ooh yeah! Lookit dem tittays!" She fondled my slight moobage a bit awkwardly before coming to her senses. "I am so sorry. That was totally rude of me, I apologize. I should have asked before touching–" But she kept rubbing my chest, tangling her fingers in my chest hair and pleasantly scratching my skin gently with her short, blue-lacquered nails. "Actually, I kind of like a guy with some cuddly meat on him. These gym rat pretty boys all look the same."

"Thanks!" I said as brightly as I could, crossing my arms over my chest modestly when she was done.

"Well, look at you!" she said, giving my body a once-over glance. "Smooth Euroboy hotness, but fuzzy like a soccer stud! Me likee."

I suddenly felt very awkward under her evaluation, but I liked it. I wrapped my arms around myself shyly, feeling more naked and observed than I had so far the whole week.

"Don't be shy, let Mama see the goods! Now show me your ass!" But I started laughing, and then she started laughing. "I'm sorry, I'm being a dirty girl!" She was actually hysterical.

She stood for a second, her mouth forming a little o. "Holy... What are you? He-Man?"

"I go to the gym occasionally," I said, casually draping one wrist on top of my head and leaning against the bar to form an S-curve with my ribcage and display the obliques like famous catalog models do.

"Jesus." She held a hand up, "May I?"

I nodded, and she proceeded to feel up my furry pectorals as I flexed each one, in turn, to make them bounce. Each of her manicured fingertips bumped over my nipples, bringing them to hard bumps and sending tingles down my stomach straight to my dick.

"Ooh. So manly", she said, gently gripping two fistfuls of chest hair and tugging, which I'm totally into. "And the fur goes all the way down!" she gasped, lightly brushing her fingertips over my hairy abs a short distance below my belly button before pulling her hands back."

I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my shorts and tugged them down a half inch. "I'm happy to show you more if you'd like," I said, grinning.

"Oh, no no, that's fine! I get it! We can save something for the second date," she said. "You have a great body. You must have to beat women off with a stick."

"Well, sometimes. But I make sure to beat them off gently with my stick," I said. "Unless they like it harder." Wink.

"Okay. Well, I'll treasure this always," she said, gingerly trying to pull my shirt over her head and down over her breasts, emerging from the collar hole squinting, eyes watering, "Axe... Body spray... Ooof!" She gasped in a few breaths, blinking. "Actually... Okay, how about I wash this and get it back to you?"

She reached in her zipper bag for a pen and scrawled on a bar napkin in front of me. "Give me a call and maybe we can discuss trading some more clothing. If you're into that."

Aww yiss.

"Hey, it's real crowded and noisy here," I said. "You wanna maybe go someplace quieter and talk for a while?"

Her eyes widened a bit. "Um. Sorry. I know you're probably not a serial killer–because, I mean, what are the odds of us both being serial killers–and you probably say that to every girl since you're either drunk or high and I happen to be standing right here–"

"Oh, no," I said, realizing how creepy I was coming off, "It's not like that at all–"

She held up her hand. "I know, it's fine. I'm just not in the habit of going to secluded places with people I've exchanged less than fifty words with as a rule. But I tell you what–" She bent to retrieve a pen from her bag. "If you remember who I am tomorrow morning, hit me up and maybe, maybe we can hang out together. Someplace public. At least at first." She scribbled her digits on a napkin that was just about to drift away on the breeze and thunked it in front of me. "Give me a call and let's talk."

"Okay, cool! Sounds great! I'm not a serial killer, really."

"Said every serial killer ever," she grinned, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, babe," I said, unable to stop myself. "I wanna take you somewhere private and fuck your brains out so hard that neither of us will remember our names for the rest of the week. How about it?"

She stared at me without blinking a moment. "Original."

"Well–"

She held up a hand to stop me. "Listen, I know when guys get drunk or stoned and free of the tact reflex they often think that brutal honesty is refreshing and new. It's not."

"I–"

"As much as I'm quite down for a good hard fuck until I can't walk the next day on a regular basis, I'm not in the habit of hooking up with guys I've exchanged fewer than fifty words with."

She reached down for her bag and came back with a pen, then scribbled a phone number on the bar napkin sitting in front of me.

"But, because you are somewhat appealing-looking and I don't recognize you as one of the skeeves that hits on me multiple times without recognizing me as the same person, plus I can tell that you normally don't talk like that on a regular basis, combined with the fact I haven't had any dick inside me this week... If you remember who I am tomorrow, give me a call and we'll see about increasing our word count."

She smiled at me, capping the pen. The only thought I could get from brain to mouth was "Okay!"

"So... What is your name, Partyboy? Just your first, let's not get too personal yet."

Eleven Forty-Seven

Eleven Forty-Eight

Eleven Forty-Nine

Eleven Fifty

Eleven Fifty-One

Eleven Fifty-Two

Eleven Fifty-Three

Eleven Fifty-Four

Eleven Fifty-Five

Eleven Fifty-Six

Eleven Fifty-Seven

Eleven Fifty-Eight

Eleven Fifty-Nine

Noon

After Noon

It was 11:47 AM. Hopefully AM. Yeah. AM.

I knew that for sure, because nobody closed the drapes and light was painful. So AM.

The pillow under my right face was also painful somehow. I sat up and ow.

Time was wasting. I wanted to call Layla.

Steve and Rick were piled on the other bed like two robots on the same squad that veered off course, crashed together and fell into oblivious smoking heaps. I assessed they had emerged from battle with only one pair of boxer shorts, one sock, a polo shirt, and a hotel robe randomly divvied between them.

On the other half of my bed, Froody splayed unceremoniously naked under a sheet, tenting an enormous erection.

Froody and his pal Dumbo remained oblivious under the sheet.

Froody and his leaning tower of onion rings remained oblivious under the sheet.

Froody and his ostensibly minty-fresh junk remained oblivious under the sheet.

Layla. I needed to call her or at least text her. I left her number in my shorts pocket.

Where the heck did I leave my shorts?

Come here often, or will you be coming here soon?

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

"So, you come here often?" I asked.

"That's like... a pickup line from 1978 isn't it?" she laughed.

"Well, when I said 'do you come here often,' I mean to the beach. Spring Break is what I meant," I clarified.

"Yeah, actually," Layla said, stretching her legs and crossing them the other way. "I love the beach. I live surprisingly close. I try to lay out a couple times a week at least."

"It must be nice to live near here." I said. "I wish I was near enough to the water to visit regularly. It might be cool to see what it's like when it's not Spring Break."

"It's quieter, but there are lots of tourists. Florida can be pretty rowdy at times."

I asked another question, "If you're out of school, what are you doing here on Spring Break?"

"I love it," she finally answered after a pause. "I really like dancing, but I hate being inside a club. I didn't get to do a lot of partying my first couple years in school because I was working so hard. I like the people too. Depending how you look at it, living in Florida is kind of like Spring Break all the time. Except for about three weeks in the winter when the temperature plunges to 55 degrees."

"Why the nude beach?"

"Well, usually I do stay on the hotel beach. This week it's just fucking jam-packed though and I came over here because it's quieter. And occasionally I do like to take off my top and even up my tanlines a little." she explained.

"Doesn't the hotel mind you using their beach?" I asked.

"Nope," she laughed.

We discussed places we both had lived at some length. We both agreed that we really liked Chicago, mainly for the pizza.

(keep discussing beach/spring break)

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

I lowered my face to the cleft of her derriere, her cheeks nudging mine as my tongue sought her little hole. When it connected, Layla jumped like she touched a staticky doorknob.

"FFFfffffhhoohhhhhhh... It must be my birthday!"

"Ahh cng mak uh yuh bufduh..." I insisted, still lapping her buttcrack; my tongue starting on the smooth stretch of flesh below her hole, catching for a moment in the taut round pucker, wiggling at her hole a bit, then sliding all the way up through to the top of her smooth split.

She reached back with both hands and grabbed my ears. "You're gonna make me come if you keep doing that!"

"You don't wanna come?"

"It would be so naughty if the first time I come it's from you licking my ass... It's like you're skipping right to dessert."

"Who needs main courses?" I said, motorboating her crack.

"Don't turn down the meal till you know how good it is..."

I reluctantly re-thonged her butt and leaned up.

I rubbed more oil on her butt.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her legs.

I was on top of Layla...

We kissed more intensely.

I caressed her boobies.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I went down on her.

I asked her to blow me.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I was on top of Layla...

I continued to play with her tits.

We made out.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I went down on her.

I asked her to blow me.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

That was when I realized that I liked both women and men.

Hope that wasn't too weird of a story. I fully plan to confess all this to Froody someday and see how he takes it.

Dear Bi the Beach

We're thrilled to hear your Spring Break was an adventure of sexual discovery! In fact, we always say you increase your chances of getting a date and getting laid by 3000% when you don't limit your sexual partners by gender. You may decide it was just experimentation, or you may embrace this new openness in your bag of tricks. Seriously, even the straightest of us agree there ain't nothing wrong with helping a bro out when the grand designs on pussy crash and burn after a night out.

Oh, and since we're sharing openly, we've all pretty much played our quota of Dungeons and Dragons over the years. There ain't no shame in that! You be you, and don't pass up a chance to get your magic missile off on the dwarves or the elves or the trolls as personally suits your mutual satisfaction!

Keep Thrusting!

ThrustLust

"Oh... Oh god. I'm gonna come, !

"Fuckyeah, right there...right there! Don't stop !

"Oh, , you're making me come again... Oh god. OH fuck!"

"I'm close...ohhh...fuuuuUUUCK–!"

"I'm cumming again, Ohh...nnnfuckyeeeeeeahhhhhh!" Layla's hips shuddered as she neared the top of the hill again. Yeeeah.

Layla's hips bucked, "Ohhhyeah right there rightfucking there...fuh-huh-huggghh!"

"Oh ! Cumming...fuck...cummminguhhHHHHHHHH fugyeahfuuuuuUUUU–"

Layla's legs went weak as she approached orgasm again. This time she made a growling sound and a splash of clear fluid gushed out of her.

"Are you okay? Did you just pee?

"You're making me squirt, ! And I'm still coming... nnghghhhhyaaaaAAAAHHHhhhNNnggGGRHHRRRRHRRfuuuuuhuhck! Ggghhhhh–"

"Fuckyeah, !" Layla shrieked, gushing from her pussy again.

She pulled away. "You are a fucking machine. Just gimme a sec to catch my breath..."

Okay, Layla.

Layla's whole body quivered and then tightened up. "Unghhuhhhhh!" Her face contorted and then all her muscles relaxed again. Her skin glistened with sweat.

Layla's thighs quivered like an electrical current was coursing through them, then she let out a gasp as if she'd been holding her breath.

Layla squeezed me tight as her pelvis shuddered and ragged, gasping breaths escaped her lips.

"NnnnnnnnNNNNNGHGHHGHGHHGHGH!" Layla climaxed, squeezing her nipples, her whole body shaking."

"OH GOD I'M COMING," screamed Layla.

Layla's body vibrated all over and her face squinched as spasms of pleasure shook her hard.

I needed the correct ten digits:

Try this number

That obviously wasn't going to work. I needed ten digits to dial.

Whoops.

I dialed it on speaker and waited. There were three disappointing chimes...

The number you are trying to reach is not in service. Please check the–

No dice.

I plunged my hand in the front pocket and withdrew the napkin...

...which was now a shredded, pulpy mass of

nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

It was Carlos the bartender's fault! He set my drink on the napkin! That got it wet and set its destruction in motion.

And I guess it was also mine as well for wadding it up in my pocket to be ground up with my keys.

Goddammit.

I raced onto the balcony to see if I could reassemble the pieces into a semblance of readability. Then I ran back and unplugged my phone at 1% but Froody would totally not care if I stole his fully-charged booster battery to call...this hot girl...

I could reassemble the shit out of this. I'm great at puzzles.

I was proud of my little friend and his big schlong! Despite his humble beginnings, he had a bright future as a porn star, or at least someone who could do reasonably well Etsy-ing silicone molds of his junk online. Some people would probably buy handcrafted artisan dildos.

But anyway.

This was the perfect opportunity for a prank.

This was the perfect opportunity for college experimentation.

Making it with two girls at once is always a fantasy, but the anonymous tower of gaping pussy glazed with a drying sheen of semen wasn't quite what I wanted to immediately shove my dick into.

I made like a tree and got out of there.

I rubbed my slick hands together, and applied oil generously to Layla's smooth back, giving it a glossy sheen.

"Mm," she said. "You have nice hands..."

"Unh yeah, that feels good," she said into the towel as my hands moved on her back again.

I applied more oil to Layla's back and rubbed it. Now she was really slick and shimmery.

"Wow, that's a lot of oil. I'm gonna slide down the beach into the water if you're not careful!"

"I think you got my back pretty good," Layla said.

I untied the knot of her bikini top to prevent tanlines.

I rubbed more oil on her back.

I oiled her legs.

I oiled her butt.

Way too soon I felt the swimming heat in my thighs and my butt clenching involuntarily. I couldn't hold out much longer!

UnnnghhHH!

I finally made it down to the outdoor pool. The air was humid with scents of chlorine, coconut suntan lotion, and... perhaps a touch of vomit. Stay away from trash cans during spring break.

The wet tee shirt contest was starting and I was on a mission, but a girl with long hair in a little black dress stepped in front of me and tried to convince me to enter the male strip contest that was happening just before.

Of course

No way

When I made it back to my own hotel room and the door clicked shut, I realized two things: everything was abruptly peaceful and quiet and I was exhausted. I could happily lie down and go to sleep. Also, I smelled like possibly every fluid available during spring break and I could totally use a shower.

So to balance out the wet tee shirt contest, which was the biggest event on a Wednesday, they also held a "pirate booty" contest for guys. We all lined up and dropped trou for an officiant with a sharpie marker (permanent due to the water, I realized later) to write our contestant numbers on our buttcheeks (leading zeros were important for the first nine!) and then we lined up across the stage as several girls in pageant dresses supersoakered our buns and the girls in the crowd screamed.

We turned around and danced a bit to the song that was playing, displaying our damp posterior wares to the world. The girl audience screamed more. Then we took turns dropping trou to display our numbers to the audience while the pageant girls gauged the scream volume somehow. There were some favorites, but I think the host girls made their own choices and cut half of the dudes. I was picked to stay on stage!

Next, the remaining contestants each got about fifteen seconds for a individual dance solo which was terrifying when my number came up.

I couldn't bring myself to "shake it" with sufficient enthusiasm, so I was cut. Which was cool, actually, because the wet tee shirt contest was just getting underway.

So to balance out the wet tee shirt contest, which was the biggest event on a Wednesday, they also held a "pirate booty" contest for guys. We all lined up and dropped trou for an officiant with a sharpie marker (permanent due to the water, I realized later) to write our contestant numbers on our buttcheeks (leading zeros were important for the first nine!) and then we lined up across the stage as several girls in pageant dresses supersoakered our buns and the girls in the crowd screamed.

We turned around and danced a bit to the song that was playing, displaying our damp posterior wares to the world. The girl audience screamed more. Then we took turns dropping trou to display our numbers to the audience while the pageant girls gauged the scream volume somehow. There were some favorites, but I think the host girls made their own choices and cut half of the dudes. I was picked to stay on stage!

Next, the remaining contestants each got about fifteen seconds for a individual dance solo which was terrifying when my number came up.

Aw yeah!

I shook my booty. I showed them what I'm working with. I boogied on the floor. I busted all the grooves. I may have even lambada-ed. I put it all out there with enthusiasm and heart, but I was cut in that round.

It was okay. I knew in my mind I gave it my all and put everything out there on that stage. If the best I can do personally isn't enough, then I just don't deserve the title of Pirate Booty King.

Which was cool, actually, because the wet tee shirt contest was just getting underway.

I was ready to go give it up and go au naturale for the enjoyment of the crowd, but for a moment I couldn't remember if I was wearing underwear or not.

Quick check:

I unbuttoned my shorts and let 'em slide...

The wet tee shirt contest was starting and I was on a mission, but a hot girl with long hair in a little black dress stepped in front of me and convinced me to enter the male strip contest that was happening just before.

Of course I'd do it–if there is one thing that looks better than my body, it's my body in motion.

Chicks screamed their heads off as I tore apart the cheap white (six for ten dollars at the cart the beach) tee shirt I was wearing like an Incredible Hulk, working my ribcage and my torso muscles in a sinewy S motion, revealing my defined and sculpted musculature. Mike ain't so magic now, is he?

I saw green at the edge of the stage, so I grooved there and knelt down, leaning back while still writhing to provide access for teh moniez. Fingers wiggled in the waistband of my underwear and nestled crackly bills and hastily-scribbled phone numbers against my smooth groinmy pubic hair.

Despite all that, I came in third, winning a souvenir tee-shirt to replace my torn one as a consolation prize. It was a size too small, so it fit tight and showed off my muscles really well.

I was robbed.

But hey, I made eleven dollars.

So, that happened.

Wait, let me start over, that's not quite right. She flashed me her tits and then I said, "Yes, I would very much enjoy an opportunity to partake, if only briefly, of your succulent and ample but not quite comically-large tittays." (Actually, probably, I just said "Yup...")

She leaned back, and I proceeded to squeeze the soft flesh of her boobs tentatively, feeling their heft and weight. Then she stared up to the sky so I could bury my face in her cleavage without the pressure of eye contact."

"Oooh, stubbly!" she giggled.

I licked each nipple to attention, spending time circling her wide areolae with my tongue in an inward spiral.

"That's nice. You're actually good at this."

I blew raspberries in her belly, and we both laughed hysterically until she warned me she would pee herself if I continued.

I intended to continue until the glass patio door scraped open and she looked up at a tall goateed hipster with glasses. I wiped my mouth and stood up.

"Are you ready, Jess? The Uber is waiting downstairs," he said.

"Oh sure," she said, yanking her halter down and tugging to situate her flesh as she stood up and nodded to me. "It was nice meeting you!"

The guy held up his hand for a high-five and I slapped it. "Have a good evening," he said, and they left the patio door open for me.

I marched back in and had me some guilt-free nerd sex.

I marched back through the orgy and returned to my room.

I pushed all thoughts of self-consciousness out of my mind. This was Spring Break, I was at an orgy and I was going to get laid.

I grabbed an offered bottle of vodka and took a healthy slug, (oh my god blueberry flavored–WHAT?) handing it back and stripping my shirt up over my head WOOO! PARTY NAKED!

Two really tall girls wearing glasses and cat-ears and black one-piece swimsuits pushed me down onto the bed and before I knew it there was cold whipped cream squirted around my nipples and down my stomach that they were eagerly lapping up with warm, greedy tongues. Oh god yes.

My shorts got tugged off and I was mounted by a curvy orange-haired catgirl wearing only red spiderweb stockings with skulls and crossbones I'm a pirate kitty! and a matching lace bra that barely contained her high-pointing boobies. They wobbled above as she leaned down over me (I had to squint to protect my eyes from the small purple marble amulet around her neck that tormented my nose) and my hard-on found the warmth between her legs and slipped inside–velvety-slick squeezing kegel-trained. She ground her hips in circles doing all the work as I laid there getting my nipples sucked by her cat-team.

A skinny naked guy wearing only glasses rose into view behind the kitty on top of me who turned to kiss him as his hands covered her tits. They both leaned forward and he nodded an introduction. She covered my neck with kisses as his tongue probed her ear.

"Ready for this dude?" he rumbled in a low voice.

I muttered.

I will admit, though, I did keep my touching his dick a little longer than was necessary out of natural objective curiosity.

Just to make sure I wasn't gay.

I wrapped my hand around Froody's shaft to gauge. It was thicker than mine too, goddammit! My hand didn't make it around the circumfrence. And he was uncircumsised. There was a lot of loose skin that moved smoothly up and down as I stroked it. Wow.

Satisfied with my exploration, I let go of Froody's junk.

Man, I wished I was as big as Froody. His generous uncut foreskin slipped all the way up the shaft to conceal the head like a tube sock when pushed up. I amused myself greatly by hiding and revealing the head several times in succession. Peekaboo! Tube sock. Peekaboo! Tube sock. All that skin must feel really nice sliding up over the cockhead when someone rubs it like I was doing.

But I stopped, because... not gay.

I realized at that point I had been masturbating my friend's erect penis for about an entire minute now, and he remained soundly asleep. Possibly, he might be having the hottest wet dream of his life.

Which unfortunately for him, ended right then.

Or...would it be ruder to stop now? It really wasn't that unpleasant. Yeah, Froody, I am a professional masturbator and I know how to do it. Who's your best friend, Froody? Yeah, it's me, . I mean, I didn't give him the erection, it wasn't my job to get him off, but I was his best buddy. Would it be rude of me if I didn't see it through?

Rude as it was, he would have to finish himself off later.

Mm, yeah, I thought. Best handjob you ever had Froody, too bad you'll never know... You know what else guys probably know how to do better? Nearly every time a girl spent twenty minutes chewing inexpertly on my junk I wished I could just show her how I wanted it. Hard to explain in words, makes sense once you see it. What was I gonna do, go get a ball park frank from the fridge and demonstrate? My theory was I could do it real good and always wondered if that were true.

But my curiosity went unsatisfied.

I mean, doing stuff sort of like... Like this... Put just the head between your lips and move your tongue in circles. Back and forth over that little flap that runs down from the slit. I would like a girl to do that, and if Froody were awake, I think he'd agree.

And that was enough of a gay experience for me.

Nnnghngng... Like that. Then you hold the base with your hand and inch your mouth slowly down, using your tongue to get it wet so your lips slide like fsggphgh. Move your hand up and down too; simultaneous stroking and sucking maneuver... Nghlike 'aht..oomgph mpghh hghhmph ngk nk... lagglelogglelogglelgnnph..fssghhph. Don't be afraid to make a mess. Keep moving your tongue the whole time...nnglughh mmgh mghhhm...

And that brief experience was enough to satisfy my curiosity.

As it gets wet, you can go down further so the head just touches the back of your throat...but don't go too far down so you gag. Just small moves at that point...sliding the cockhead against the soft part of the back of your throat: Nlgh nghh ckhg kchlughhh mm mgn mgnhhgh...ngh...slphghhph–pahh! Remember to come up for air. Don't gag.

(It was not lost on me that I was giving my first blowjob in a circumstance that did not involve prison in some way as I had hypothetically imagined it might. Fortunately, now if my futures somehow turned, I wouldn't have to worry about learning on the job.)

I was satisfied to earn that one fellatio skill point for future incarceration.

Mmm...mpgh. Lahgghlglhglhghlhg. Dont forget about the head, that's where all the nerves are. Keep licking it periodically. Moghlgh mmmgph glhaglghlhlalalal. This is where a nimble tongue serves well. If you're gonna squeeze the balls, do it gently like this. Light touch, not an iron roller coaster grip. You can encircle the scrotum with your thumb and forefinger and very carefully and gently tug down a little bit to stretch the cock to it's absolute full length. Like that. Now you start going up and down real deep and try to bump the back of throat each time nkk nghh mpgh ghghh mognnhhlh. Froody was pre-cumming a bit; would he actually blow in my mouth while sleeping?

(Ladies, while it's nice to let a guy come in your mouth, it is by no means necessary to hold it in and swallow. It's actually hotter if we see it goosh on your face and chin. You can make him climax near your mouth and it's just as good. Keep massaging the base of the shaft and concentrate soft mouth and tongue movement on the tip (remember don't be afraid to be sloppy!) until he's on right the edge: ffchuup mluhhlululul mm oogf unf– Froody was close, so I paid attention to the increasing intensity of the twitches of his hips and legs to know when to back off. At this point I needed to finish him quick to reduce the chance someone might wake up.

So, there it ended...

Froody's hips tensed and I heard a thin gasp... Yep, still asleep but there wasn't a lot of time. I licked the tip of his cock all over real good to get it real wet, then stroked vigorously and steadily to close the deal, my fist pumping up and down quickly, keeping my mouth nearby to continue breathing on it and providing mouth stimulation, but ready to turn away when the hydrant cap blew...

And then I stopped... because...

Awyeah, there you go buddy–lots of tongue right before it happens– glaghlalalaghfcshpflglglh

His thighs tensed and relaxed as the muscle beneath his balls throbbed intently, pumping three jizz-lines of decreasing length up onto his tanned stomach which pooled in his navel and ran wetly down one side of his ribcage.

That is how you suck a dick, ladies.

Okay, fine. I'm a little bi.

Well that happened.

It was a little weird to consider I'd just blown my sleeping best friend to completion without his knowledge, but frankly, I did an amazing job of it. Rick and Steve; still out cold. Now I had a crime scene cleanup on my hands. And...a little on my face. I was used to expertly micromanaging my own ejaculate during and after masturbation, but wow, this was an elaborate mess. Unfortunately, there was nobody really I could call for cleanup like they did in Pulp Fiction.

So what I did was...

Hell fuckin' yeah I could! They strapped me in on the other bed and wrote something across my cheststomach in lipstick before tying a silk blindfold around my head and duct-taping a red plastic cup to my arm (for donations to some children's cancer charity, they said) before leaving me to the whims of my first client.

Now, I know what you're thinking: this is a dream situation. To be truthful it was one of my secret fantasies to be helpless and repeatedly forced to satisfy a long line of hot babes. In truth, not being able to do anything to assist inexperienced sex partners is frustrating. Also not being able to see any scenery is a bit of a bummer.

The first one was already wet or had lubed up beforehand, and her tight pussy slid down onto my cock easily. Then for the next ten minutes, she just sat there, satisfied to rock gently, squeezing and releasing me with her pelvic muscles. She was having a great time, but there was a line building up. I bucked into her like a bronco in fast-forward, finishing her with her astride my arched body, shuddering like a clothes dryer with a shoe in it.

The second one couldn't get wet, and twenty minutes went by as she straddled my stomach, inching back and forth along the length of my flattened cock like an indecisive snail while I attempted to assist, whispering into her ear. I couldn't wait to be inside her, she was so hot, she was so sexy, she was so beautiful–which I didn't even know for sure, because...blindfold. Finally, the snail slimed up and she was ready, coaxing just the head of my penis inside her. I decided to speed things along and pushed in another fraction, at which point she screamed "OH MY GOD I'M COMING!" and I wasn't sure at first in what context, because the sounds she made could have been throes of passion just as easily as they could have been throes of demise, but then she squirted, dousing my crotch in warm fluid that I doggedly hold out hope was not pee.

The third one kinda knew what she was doing and mounted me with the skill of an amateur porn star. This, I could get into. She leaned down, kissing my neck, her smooth breasts smushing against my sweaty chest brushing across my chest hair so I could smell the pool chlorine soaked into her skin. Unfortunately, she also knew that move that girls love that bends your chub around the corner of her pubic bone. I politely asked her to stop that, or at least lean up a bit for a better angle, but after she continued mangling my dick into a U-turn, I had no choice but to scream "OH MY GOD I'M COMING!" and thrash around, performing my first-ever faked orgasm so as not to leave my unit broken off inside this chick.

Luckily, that was enough to get her off me since we were bareback, and I hoped there was enough goo down there to disguise the fact that I hadn't actually ejaculated. Before another virgin could be summoned, I broke out of the plastic cuffs and got back into my clothes and out of that room, not realizing until I made it to the elevator that I still had the children's cancer cup duct-taped to my arm.

But hey, I made eight dollars.

She wanted it so much. I positioned my cock and inserted it fully into her asshole and started thrusting eagerly. I wouldn't be surprised if people heard her scream of anger at the far wing of the hotel.

What'd I do wrong? She obviously wanted it, letting me play with her ass.

Dear Ass-inine Anal Assulter,

Flat-out, brah: you don't spring unexpected buttsex on a girl like that. If that's not rule one, it's in the top three.

Remember the 5-Cs: Communication. Consent. Condoms. Courtesy. Care.

Keep Thrusting (a little more carefully next time!)

ThrustLust

I was disappointed. She was the perfect girl in every way, except I wouldn't have been the first man she had sex with. She might have had diseases! She was so close to perfect, yet so far!

Why do girls get so weirded out when you ask them about their sexual history? Don't I have a right to know?

Dear Deplorable, Dimwit De-Virginator,

I'm gonna lay a concept on you, so you need to spread yourself wide, get over your first time jitters, and get ready to accept the entire length and girth of it:

Women are not single-use entities.

They are not kleenex you wad up and throw out when you're done cumming all over them them. Many women, in fact, enjoy multiple partners in their lifetime, or even in the same night if you can grok that (see our pictoral starting on page 37 if you don't.)

This must be the first issue of our magazine you've read. Women deserve all the sex they want and will let us deliver to them; singly, in groups, at bar-mitzvahs... I don't mean to imply in any way that a woman is an object, but you don't junk a classic Cadillac just because your buddy borrowed it and drove it to a Creed concert once! Even if he misaligned the tires and knocked the bumper crooked by driving too fast over the train tracks on the way home! It can all be fixed! The car still gets you where you want it to!

[Managing Editor's note: J.T. I did no such thing to your car, I swear to you again: there are NO train tracks between here and there whatsoever. You want to discuss me causing minor body damage, let's talk your ex-girlfriend...HEY-YO! (waggly eyebrows)]

There are a finite number of virgins in the world, DDD-V, and the honor of being someone's first is a special thing to be treasured. If you insist on fucking virgins only, it becomes much less special, and that is no way to honor a lady who gives it up to you, "Oh, baby, you're my fourth this week."

As far as 'disease' goes, let me introduce you to our friend, the condom. I'm sending you a special complimentary sample pack of our ThrustLust branded rubbers for you to wrap that Willy in, and get yourelf into some of that classic, veteran, road-tested pussy.

Keep on Thrusting (all kinds of ladies, not just the new ones),

ThrustLust

P.S. While it's my job to review and respond to your letter and not critique your story structure... Some eighteen pages back you related (and I quote roughly) 'Dipping your dangle in some sloppy Swedish snatch' like four seconds after Dolph Lundgren dumped his ivory white nutsack all over and inside aforementioned recipients Inga and Olga without the slightest mention of prophylactics nor intimate discussion of sexual history. Half your story don't line up. We obviously don't mind embellishment, but consider my willing suspension of disbelief de-suspended. Disease, my black ass. I'm sending you TWO condom samplers now for good measure. Pay attention in health class, brother!

P.S. While it's my job to review and respond to your letter and not critique your story structure... Some eighteen pages back you related one 'Spiderwoman Pirate Kitty' who got on top and rode you without complaint from you, nor the "Are you a virgin? Are you a virgin?"-style third-degree. And THEN, you double-dick this anonymous cosplay chick with ANOTHER stranger's nekkid prick a half-inch from yours WITHOUT any mention nor intimate discussion of sexual history? Disease, my black ass. Half your story don't line up. We obviously don't mind embellishment, but consider my willing suspension of disbelief de-suspended. However, due to your great need, I'm throwing in an extra condom sampler for good measure. USE THEM! Pay attention in health class, brother!

It didn't matter.

My shorts slid down, and the girls in the crowd squealed at my amply-packed blue and red and green tropical-patterned speedos.

I shoulder-grooved, waddling my way to the front of the stage with shorts around knees, to accept a crush of dollar bills down my crotch. Mm, my bulge was crunchy and robust.

My shorts only made it down far enough to reveal the top of my pubes before My dick flopped out of my shorts and I was forcibly escorted off the stage by a tall woman in an evening gown with a husky voice and a microphone.

"Let's hear it for number sixteen!" Then low, to me, "Sorry to cut you off, we got a public frontal-nudity ordinance in this county. Nice job though."

"It's all good!" I responded to the hostess, who may or may not have been a drag queen. "You're looking fine by the way, girl."

"Theeeeenks!" she sing-songed, and vanished into the crowd behind the stage.

Despite all that, I came in third, winning a souvenir tee-shirt to replace my torn one as a consolation prize. It was a size too small, so it fit tight and showed off my muscles really well.

I was robbed.

But hey, I made eleven dollars.

So, that happened.

I groaned as all the nerves in my neck twinged from the pleasure of her kisses. Yeah, I'm totally up for anything dude as long as she keeps fucking me and kissing my neck like that...

The new guy in the mix leaned back to enter her from behind...wait, what? Her soft titties mushed into my chest and I got one of her orangey nipples between my lips as she readjusted her position to present her backside. I could feel his cock poking around near mine, finally squeezing into her tight asshole right above holy shit I can feel him inside her too and our erections were separated inside only by a thin layer of flesh. It felt so weird; I actually popped wetly out of her twice, but our combined crotches were now under off-site management and I was in no real position to complain. Finally we were both comfortably stuffed within her, my balls getting very acquainted with his, and she was practically trancing out in pleasure above me, rolling her eyes and talking in demon cat language, her dyed bright orange hair spilling over my face, commanding us to pleasure her incomprehensibly. I was surprised in how much detail I could actually feel what was happening on his end. It was best if I held still while he thrusted vigorously. Again the wretched blueberry vodka was passed between us. She squealed and held me close gripping my shoulders, blueberry lips on mine Ohgod he's fucking my ass and you're fuckingmypussy...fuck my ass and my pussy GiveitToMeOHHGODDDD!

We figured out a rhythm nonverbally; it worked better when I held her her ass steady, my fingers sinking into her wobbling buttcheeks. We could alternate every other thrust or take turns; me bucking inside her for a bit, then holding still and letting my new friend go for a while as I held her buns spread apart and out of his way. I felt all three of us got to know each other intimately in some kind of weirdly blunt, nonverbal caveman social context–

Ohgod I'm CUMMING! I'm fucking GONNA CUM YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! fuck me FUCK ME OHmakemeCUUUUM! the cat squealed as her slippery vaginal muscles tightened around my shaft. Her pillowy boobs smothered me, soft pale flesh thudding my face as she ground her climax out, quickly leading to mine.

Fireworks exploded. Goo spurted from all three of us. I ticked "have another guy come all over my balls while I fuck a blueberry-flavored pirate kitty" off my bucket list, rolling out to find all my clothing and crawl from the room, pulling my boxers up way past my belly-button to maintain some sense of decorum.

There were people milling about, but none paid particular attention to a half-naked guy lurching his way down the corridor with most of his clothes in his hand in a Florida hotel.

Half-naked crawl of shame?

I wasn't sure what this guy was specifically planning, but I was so not anywhere into even experimentally crossing the streams in any manner, even during an orgy at Spring Break.

I stammered polite thank yous to both of them, and extricated myself from the bottom of the pile, managing to get my boxers on and grab the rest of my clothes before staggering out of the hotel room.

There were people milling about, but none paid particular attention to a half-naked guy lurching his way down the corridor with his clothes in his hand in a Florida hotel.

Can't take away MY dignity!

While that sounded kind of hot, the blindfold meant who knows what they could have sent in there to molest me while videotaping the whole thing for some porn site where they fool guys into getting blowjobs from other guys and fucking Labrador retrievers. To each his own, I mean, but no thank you personally.

I grabbed all my clothes and held them over my crotch, running from the room and down the hall, inspiring lurid comments and whistles from the girls waiting outside. I turned sideways and slid along the wall to conceal my naked ass.

I Metal Geared my way behind a large potted plant like Solid Snake and waited as two nuns exited the elevator and moved away. I dove in and pulled up my speedo trunks and shorts as it descended, managing to get one shirt button closed as the doors dinged open on the pool level.

Absolutely nothing. I stood naked on the balcony, knowing I had missed the opportunity of something special.

I sat down in the chair and lit a cigarette so I could ponder all things, propping my feet on the rail, ignoring that the mesh of the metal chair was going to imprint a permanent waffle-pattern on my ass.

I poured myself a glass of orange juice from the cooler we brought, then emptied a tiny airport bottle of vodka into it. Hair of the dog. Plus electrolytes. The healthy vitamin-C would clear my head and the alcohol would clear my heart, dammit. I plopped in the mesh chair on the balcony with nothing on but sunglasses and a hard, enjoying the Florida ocean breeze.

I broke the seal on the hotel fridge and cracked out an eleven-dollar bottle of spring water from the beautiful fjords of Norway, even though we still had dollar store bottles of filtered tap water in the cooler. I needed the hydration, deserved luxury, and I wasn't going to be able to eat breakfast for a while, so this course of action clearly budgeted and justified.

I put on some sunglasses and plopped into the mesh chair on the balcony to catch some rays. I'd been functioning mostly at night and it wouldn't be bad to work on a tan and let my thoughts wander...

I grabbed an energy drink and a power bar out of the cooler we'd brought with grocery items to save money on food in Florida and sat on the balcony, legs crossed like a businessman perusing the free hotel paper. I was a businessman if he were drunk, hung over, and wearing nothing but sunglasses, oblivious to the worry that the mesh metal chair was creating a waffle indentation-pattern in his ass cheeks.

I put on some sunglasses that had been left on the table and relaxed back in the deck chair for some serious wake-and-shake. It didn't matter if Froody or anyone saw me. This was Spring Break, and what happens on Spring Break... this must happen all the time in Florida.

I propped one foot on the rail and lazily worked myself hard, staring out at the ocean, enjoying the warm sea breeze on my balls. I guess it wasn't so bad; the wind took away Layla, but at least it was making up for it by tickling my nuts.

Someone had brought in that day's paper and left it on the balcony table. Hunh, the other guys must have gotten in really late if they had a chance to retrieve it from outside our room. Five or six am they drop it probably? No wonder they were still out of commission. I looked at the publish date and pondered...

There were five days of Spring Break left. Maybe I'd run into her again. Maybe she'd seek me out. Dammit, why didn't I give her my number?

Because that's not the way it works. Girls give out their number and then want you to call them in most cases.

Maybe it was a fake number. Maybe she was just leading you on. Maybe she is making fun of you right now, thinking Jeez what a loser!

I was nude, save for a yellow wristband. None of the clothes I was wearing last night were anywhere obvious in the cluttered hotel room.

Yeah, that's where they are.

"Oh fuck!"

"Yeah baby!"

"Here it comes..."

"Oh fuuuuuuuck"

"FUUUUUUUUCK NGNHH!"

skeet...

skeet...

skeet... (my semen splattered all over her !!!)

skeet...

"Oh my god," Layla said. She was a sticky mess, covered in my jism. "You're like a fucking fireman, ."

"Well, our passion was on fire, baby, we didn't want to burn the beach down did we?"

"No, I guess not," she grinned, trying to figure out how to deal with all the goo. "Very impressive display."

"Well, then," Layla said, wiping my spunk off of her with a quick swipe of her hand. "That wasn't as messy as it could have been."

"That was not the spectacular cumshot I was expecting, sorry!"

"It was nice," she replied, patting my knee.

Best beach day ever.

I pulled my trunks down just far enough to free my erection, which sprang forth like an emergency slide from the side of a plane.

I sandwiched my cock between her asscheeks. It looked so awesome, I sort of wished I had brought my phone to snap a pic of it. Her oily crack felt so good cradling the length of my dick. I moved my hips in slow circles, loving how it felt being docked and moving just a little bit.

Mmmm mmm nngh nf ngf oof unf. Why don't people surf buttcrack more often? It felt soo good. I don't know if Layla's ass was just perfect...with the right amount of softness and firmness but... I pushed her buns together, making a tunnel for my cock. I could probably come like this pretty quickly. Oh. Oho! nnf ngh ohf uhf oohyeah...

"Are you dryhumping my butt?" Layla asked.

"Naw, it's plenty slick back here nnf nf ng nff oooh ahh!"

"Oh god oh god Layla, I'm coming! Ah! OH! Ahahah! Oh Jesus!"

My semen arced high with a unusual farting noise via some odd combination of pressure and the specific fluid dynamics enabled by Layla's tight asscrack–

"AaahhAAAHHHHOH... NNGHHHH... "

–and then a moment later my come spattered down all around us–fat drops, like a luridly brief hot rain.

"...Nnnnghhh!"

"Well, happy birthday to you," she said reaching behind her head. "Eh...is it in my hair?"

It wasn't long before I immediately fell asleep snuggled next to Layla on the towel. When I woke up, I was alone.

And sunburnt.

Nnnnghhh!

I continued cracksurfing.

I kept fingering her butt.

I rubbed more oil on her butt.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her legs.

I fucked her in the ass

I am...

and...

Yep...

I have...

which I keep...

My body...

And

That's it

I took another 360 degree general scan of the room, but didn't see my shorts anyplace obvious like hanging on a lamp or on the floor or stuffed into a drawer. Someone's discarded jockstrap lay twisted in the middle of the floor, who the hell brought a jockstrap? and I kicked them into the corner by the luggage.

Huh.

The bathroom. That's where they had to be. Now it was all coming back–I remembered having to take a heinous shit when I got back to the room, and I think I must have dozed off on the toilet at some point. Of course, I'm sure it's common knowledge that if your business takes more than fifteen minutes you take your pants off for comfort.

Yep, there they were, smashed into the corner with some wet swimtrunks and a tank top and one shoe. Wallet, keys, dead phone, yay.

The napkin was still in my front pocket...

Out the patio doors on the balcony was probably where I left them. I got back and needed some air and–details faded back: at the time it somehow seemed perfectly logical to take off all my clothes on the balcony while watching people walk around below.

Yep, there they were, draped over the rail. It's a wonder that they didn't slip off and fall to the sidewalk three stories down. Yay dead phone, wallet, keys...

The napkin was still in my front pocket...

Did I wear my shorts to bed? I mean, I was sharing a bunk with Froody but neither of us was that shy. Would I have worn them to bed? If so, I might have rolled on my keys and my wallet and and eventually got irritated enough to kick them off unconsciously under the blanket. Would Froody have taken them off me in a drunken attempt to help somehow? They weren't under Froody's sheet, so I pulled every other blanket and shook them out vigorously. Nope?

I heard jingling. There they were. My wallet thunked heavily onto the carpet from within the bedspread, followed by my keys. Yay. oh my god PHONE TUMBLING. It landed on carpet, awesome. I could find my shorts later. Must charge phone.

I hoped the napkin was still in my front pocket...

Surely they weren't outside the room? Since I was still buck naked I cracked the door to the hall open and stuck my head out, looking both ways. The Latvian maid we'd joked around with the first day was at one end of the hall vacuuming. The whole hall had been mostly cleaned up from the previous night. Damn.

Just as I gave up and leaned back in the room, I felt something brush my hip. There they were, hanging on the outside doorknob. Shit, did I strip down before I even opened the door to the room last night?

Oh. Right. On the way back to the room my stomach was churning as the elevator stopped on every floor and I stripped naked from the waist down in the hallway since I had a limited supply of clean underwear with me, and should disaster strike, I could apologize to the housekeeper who would nod understandingly, assuring me in her native tongue that it was by no means the worst night she'd had working here...

It was touch and go the last fifty feet, and I'd left my shorts and underpants hanging on the door handle with the Do Not Disturb sign in my haste.

Most importantly, my keys and wallet were still in the pockets. Thank goodness. And...my phone was dead but I could plug it in.

And the napkin would still be there in the front pocket...

I snapped a pic on Froody's phone to document this Spring Break memory for the future.

All those things were funny, but I changed my mind and didn't do anything.

Froody always got picked on when he was younger, and we both had plenty of dirt on each other, so I usually didn't give him too hard of a time.

Anyhow...

Ain't nothing wrong with sloppy seconds, so I knelt on the bed and pulled my shorts down enough to expose all the necessary equipment. I was hard, having spent most of an hour watching other people fuck.

The Swedish girls weren't really paying attention, having somehow acquired a single red popsicle which they were busy sharing; taking turns plunging it in each of their cherry-stained mouths and lavishing elaborately with their pink tongues.

I patted the upper girl's butt, "Hi, um. Are you ladies–nice to meet you, by the way–are you both okay if I... Do my thing back here?"

"Åh ja min älskling, knulla oss igen, du hingst, Björn!"

I may not know Swedish, but ja was plenty enough “yes” for me!

I mounted the top girl.

I aimed low and slid my cock into the bottom girl.

I changed my mind.

My thighs were burning from the porn-star power-mount stance, so I let my cock slip out and knelt down to fuck the other girl on the bottom. I wiped some of the slickness from the top girl up and down along her pussy entrance with the head of my cock to lube it up a bit.

The girl on the bottom squealed as the tip of my dick entered her, and I paused in case I was hurting her. Then she began murmuring husky encouragement like "Åh, Björn, åh Gud, Björn, din kuk är den enda kuk som kan tillfredsställa min fitta så bra!" She must have been really into me, pushing her butt back and wiggling it adorably.

I met her thrust and slid in to the bare hilt of my smoothshorn love-swordcrunch of my pubes against her crack...her pussy was tight, warm, and twitching, squeezing my penis inside her thrillingly. She made anime-like squeaky noises into the pillow as I ravaged her young womanhood with slow, rolling thrusts of my hips.

"Hahhh! Björn! Jag kommer aldrig att kunna gå rakt igen! Fyll mig med din heta sperma så jag kommer att känna till det nordiska kärlekens intensiva nöje!"

Bucket list (EXCERPT):

Bucket list (EXCERPT):

I decided to switch holes.

It didn't take me long to come.

I withdrew from the bottom girl, deciding to take full advantage of having two to choose from, and moved my cock higher to fuck the girl on top.

The upper Swedish girl's vagina widened as my dick barged through, her slit still gooey with her boyfriend's semen. I stood on the mattress for the best angle, my dick gliding in and out. Her substantial pussy lips clung to my shaft on every withdrawal and made a subtle squootch sound when I plunged back in. My smoothhairy balls slapped rhythmically as I quickened the pace thap thap fap thap...

Bucket list (EXCERPT):

Bucket list (EXCERPT):

I decided to switch holes.

It didn't take me long to come.

I moved on top of her body so we were face to face. "Mmm. Hi." she breathed.

Again I rolled on top of Layla, supporting most of my weight, but enjoying the press of our bodies together.

I got on top of Layla again, her hard nipples brushingsoft breasts pressed against my sweatyhairy chest.

Mount'd!

Mmm.

Her perky boobs filled my big hands just perfectly, the nubs poking into the palms.I placed my hands on her breasts, feeling the nipples poking into my palms.

I squeezed the soft flesh of her breasts, enjoying how my fingers sank in.

"Mmm, you like my tits, don't you?"

"Yeah, Layla, your tits are so fucking awesome," I replied.

I continued to squeeze and manipulate her boobs, catching the nipples between my third and fourth fingers.

I pressed her nipples gently between my fingers, brushing each one over the tip. She sucked in a breath as each one tweaked past.

"Oh. Oh, ...touch my nipples just like that!"

I licked my index fingers and circled the softer pink flesh of her areolae, teasing her nipples to solid, perky points.

"That feels so good, !"

I massaged her perky tits, mashing them flat with my palms and moving them in slow circles.I enjoyed the jiggly heft and weight of her tits, pushing them gently up and together, then letting them fall back into place.

She moved her face near mine, "Mmm. Be nice to the girls," she smiled, kissing my face.

I pinched her nipples carefully, increasing the pressure just barely until she reacted.

"Ohhhh. Ooh yeah, right there, ! Right there!"

Layla groaned as I squeezed her titties, engulfing the soft flesh in my hands.big titties, the soft wobbly domes overflowing my efforts to contain them in my hands.

I very carefully pinched and stretched her nipples up until she gasped and I released them, her smooth flesh springing back.

I did it again. Layla growled and grabbed two fistfuls of beach towel on either side of her, her head moving side to side with her eyes shut.

I her .

I found myself shoulder to shoulder in the roiling crowd watching the in-progress wet tee shirt contest. I worked as far forward as possible so I could see through the sweaty mass of raging frat bros and sorority girls. Many were holding up camera phones, taking time from Spring Break to document the show on Snapchat, and make their absent friends jealous they were not at Spring Break documenting Spring Break for their unfortunately absent, jealous friends who were not at Spring Break to document...

About eighteen drenched ladies were onstage competing, working the crowd, sheer Hot Wet Spring Break Nights! branded tee shirts clinging to their buffet-wall of delicious mammary on display. All of them were dancing; writhing with various levels of dance skill, soliciting votes and squatting like strippers to accept proffered dollar bills held up near the lip of the stage.

Some jerkwad was dropping handfuls of pennies into the girls' bottoms and got bounced by security pretty quickly. I made a thorough assessment of all thirty-six boobs on display and quickly picked out my favorite.

My mouth found Layla's and our tongues desperately acquainted themselves like two lonely puppies meeting for the first time.

Layla's soft lips pressed mine, and we held them together, just breathing each other in.

Our lips brushed together sensuously, Layla's tongue occasionally darting to touch mine shyly.

Our lips mashed together, momentarily muffling the words we tried to say, mmmh... mmhmmm... mhmmmhmmhph... mmHMMmmm!

My forehead pressed to Layla's as we talked into each other's mouths:

Does that feel good?

That feels good...

Ohhh.

More...

I want it...

Layla covered my mouth with innocent pecking kisses despite all the dirtiness happening elsewhere.

My tongue explored her mouth; she pushed back and invaded my mouth. It was a war of who could taste more of the other.

Layla and I kissed .

Layla straddled me...

I caressed her some more.

I touched her breasts.

She leaned down to kiss me.

I said nasty, nasty things.

I decided to change things up.

Layla straddled me...

I worshipped her breasts.

I caressed her body.

She leaned down to kiss me.

I said nasty, nasty things.

I decided to change things up.

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on Layla's...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

The muscle behind my nuts throbbed hard and then began squeezing and releasing like a heartbeat. My body mindlessly thrust inside Layla as roiling warm waves of pleasure rippled up my stomach and down my legs. Uh...Uhhh..uhHHHHHHnghghh!

Yards of my hot semen unspooled inside of Layla again and again–so much that hot milky fluid splurted out around my dick and lathered my crotch like we had been fucking an over-filled creme doughnut that had burst between us. I threw my head back heroically, forgetting for a bit where I was, who I was; nothing mattered except my penis sliding in Layla's hot, gooey slit.

God. Yes. Fuck. Yes. Cumming...fuck cummingaaaaaGGHHHH!

I pumped Layla full of my hot jizz, panting through my teeth, buns clenched rock-solid, draining my balls into her increasingly slippery love hole. Gazing down, I watched my softening cock slip out, drooling milky goo in a thread to the gorgeously-creamglazed gape of her crack.

Unh...unh...unf...mm! Mm! UUUGH! My body twitched spasmodically as I squirted in Layla's twice, then slowly creampied her as long as my softening erection could penetrate until it slipped out.

I pounded my orgasm into her, grunting like a caveman. Uh! Unh! UNH! I wiped sweat from my chest, feeling like a rockstar as my softening cock slipped wetly out.

"That was great, Layla. I hope it was good for you!" I panted, assessing the damage.

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty in Layla's embrace.

My cock was slick with our juices and the suntan oil. I pressed it to the twitching pucker of her anus.

Her ass was so hot...

Layla straddled me...

I kissed her desperately.

I worshipped her breasts.

I caressed her body.

I said nasty, nasty things.

I decided to change things up.

I slowly moved my hips back and forth, enjoying the the warm pull and push of my cock in Layla's pussy. "You think those surfers are watching us out there?"

"Mmm..." she purred. "They're probably so jealous."

Each of us had a knee raised, and hers folded over mine. My balls wobbled back and forth as I plunged my cock in and out of Layla's slippery flesh.

"Ooh, yeah! I bet the surfers don't have boards as big as yours," Layla grinned over her shoulder.

I thrust eagerly into Layla, her firm buttocks twitchingher generous buttocks jiggling as my hips repeatedly bumped into her.

"Yeah, fuck me, ..."

"Oh, god, that feels so good!" she gasped as I quickened my thrusting.

I wrapped my arms around Layla, arching my back and extending my hard on to its fullest length as she ground her hips in small circles on my rod.

"Oh, fuck, Layla, yeah! Just like that," I whispered in her ear.

"You like that hot pussy, ?"

"Fuck yeah I do!"

"Is it nice and tight on your big hard dick?"

"Mmm yeah... Fuck me, Layla!"

I pounded my hips and my cock into her like a machine.

"OohhhOOHHHhhhhyeahhh fuck my tight pussy!" she moaned.

I grabbed her leg and rolled on my back, pulling her on top of me. I wrapped my arms around her knees and rocked her body back and forth, thrusting my dick up into her randomly.

"Gggggoohhhhhgodd...yissssfuckkk..." she hissed.

Layla planted her feet and her hands in the sand on either side of my body, supporting herself as she bucked her hips, sliding up and down on my firepole.

"Unnngghhh yeah! Fuck me, !"

My cock slipped out with a wet pop and rebounded, thunking against her pussy. I rolled her to the side off of me and embraced her top leg against my chest, straddling the lower one, sinking my inches back into her welcoming flesh.

I .

I splayed out on the towel, and Layla eagerly hoisted her thigh over to straddle my stomach.

"Are we gonna play horsey, Uncle ?" she inquired.

"If I wasn't so horny right now, that would be a wee bit disturbing," I said, settling her into a comfortable position.

"I'm totally kidding," she giggled, leaning down to kiss me. "You don't wanna be my uncle?"

"I wanna be the guy you're fucking right now."

Layla pushed me onto my back and mounted me again like she was a hot, naked cowgirl and I was her faithful stallion.

"Giddyap!" she grinned.

Layla mounted me again, leaning down for a kiss, her hard nipples brushingsoft breasts pressing against my sweatyhairy chest.

Bronco'd!

Layla was riding me cowgirl-style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I squeezed her tits as she fucked me.

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I spanked her booty.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Layla was riding me cowgirl-style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I caressed her body as we fucked.

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I massaged her tits.

I spanked her booty.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Layla was riding me cowgirl-style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

Layla was naughty and needed a spanking.

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I played with her tits.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I pulled back a bit, letting my hard cock slip out of Layla.

My cock slipped out of her, slapping wetly against my stomach.

I withdrew my penis carefully.

I slowly pulled my dick out.

I withdrew my penis from Layla.

Yeahh.

I was fucking Layla from behind...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I played with her tits.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I spanked her booty.

I teased her with my schlong.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I was fucking Layla from behind...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept feeling her boobs

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I spanked her booty.

I teased her with my schlong.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I was fucking Layla from behind...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

She was a bad girl!

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I played with her tits.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I teased her with my schlong.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Layla was on all fours in front of me...

I said dirty things to her.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I rubbed her ass.

I spanked her butt.

I ate her out.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I love the view when fucking a girl from behind. Layla's round buns slid all the way down my pole with a satisfying thump as our crotches met, and her pussy muscles squeezed me deep inside of her.

I thrust into Layla from behind, her buns jiggling as they slapped against me.

I held her buttcheeks as she ground her pussy back and forth on my dick.

"Yeah, give it to me, !"

"Fuck, yeah, pound me good," Layla ordered.

I didn't need to be told, and quickened my pace in and out of her twitching pussy.

"You feel so good, Layla!" I said, pounding into her with strong, slow thrusts.

I put my hands on my head, fucking Layla's pussy from behind. She hunkeered down with a growling sound, squeezing her pussy muscles tight around my rod.

My cock slipped out, sliding wetly against her thigh. I missed the hole twice before she reached between her legs and guided it back in her smoldering pussy.

I spread Layla's asscheeks, watching her tiny pink butthole twitch every time my cock slid into her throbbing cunt.

"Oh...oh..." she grunted, reaching back to grab my wrist. "Slow down just a little bit for a second."

I pulled out and thoroughly drummed my hard-on all over her smooth, soft buns as Layla repositioned her knees, and I was able to plunge back in at a new, more comfortable angle.

I .

Layla ran her fingers through her hair, leaning her head back and shaking it out of her face.

Layla leaned down over me, staring into my eyes. her boobs dangling over my chest.

Layla rotated her hips, mushing her glistening pussy flesh on my shaved groinpubes. I felt my erection sliding against the crack of her butt.

Layla ran her fingers sensuously through the hair on my furry pecsover my smooth chest.

Layla leaned forward and moved her hips up and down so my cock slid along the length of her pussy lips without going in.

"You tease," I joked.

"Yeah..." she answered.

Layla .

Layla handed me her bottle of suntain oil and positioned herself facedown on her towel. She may as well have been naked from the waist down at this vantage point, because the thong almost completely disappeared between her gorgeous asscheeks.

I oiled her back.

I oiled her legs.

I oiled her butt.

Layla handed me the bottle of suntan oil, then turned facedown on her towel, head toward the ocean, her face on her folded hands, turned toward me with her eyes closed. I will never forget the partially flattened swell of her breast smushed into the towel.

The thong nearly disappeared between the globes of her round butt, so Layla, for all practical purposes, looked completely naked.

I pourned the coconut candybar scented oil in my palm and rubbed my hands together, then smeared it all over her shoulderblades, working it lower. Her skin was flawless and velvety smooth.

I finally hoisted a thigh over her body and straddled her, sitting mostly on her butt.

"Oof!" she said.

"Am I too heavy?" I asked.

"No you're good. That's good..."

I drizzled oil in the small of her back and worked it up the sides of her spine, making gentle pressing circles with the heels of my hands.

"Unngh...feels good..."

I rand my hands quickly down her sides so I wouldn't tickle her, lingering with my fingertips on her soft side-boobs.

I repositioned myself back further on her thighs so I could massage her buttcheeks in slow, outward circles, spreading them, revealing the heretofore hidden orange string that nestled against her asshole.

I know girls often have a special secret spot right at the base of their spine. I lowered my face and breathed on her skin, just above her tailbone, still kneading her oily butt, more for my own enjoyment then need to spread the lotion.

"Ohhhh...yeahhhhhhhhh..." she said into her hands as my lips just barely brushed the tiny, fine hairs that stood up on the shalow crevice of her lower spine.

"Uhhhhmmmmm...oh...that's nice."

I planted a soft lingering kiss on her tailbone, then leaned up and moved back to rub the backs of her legs, subtly coaxing them further apart so I could see the edges of her flesh that peeked out where the thong fabric widened, tucking in under her crotch."

"Okay," I said, patting her thigh. "Turn over so I can do your front."

"But my front is already oiled up, you dog."

"Do you want to prevent skin cancer or not?"

"I guess," she said, mock grumpily, turning over and positioning her feet back toward the water, my topless beach goddess mostly revealed, clad only in her skimpy bottoms.

I sat next to her, our eyes locked, my oily fingers gently swirling on the soft flesh of her stomach. Her breathing was controled, but faster.

I pulled her to me for a kiss.

I rubbed oil slowly upward toward her boobs.

I rubbed oil slowly downward toward her bikini bottoms

So to balance out the wet tee shirt contest, which was the biggest event on a Wednesday, they also held a "pirate booty" contest for guys. We all lined up and dropped trou for an officiant with a (permanent) sharpie marker (goddammit) to write our contestant numbers on our buttcheeks (leading zeros were important for the first nine) and then we lined up across the stage as several girls in pageant dresses supersoakered our buns and the girls in the crowd screamed.

We turned around and danced a bit to the song that was playing, displaying our damp posterior wares to the world. The girl audience screamed more. Then we took turns dropping trou to display our numbers to the audience while the pageant girls gauged the scream volume somehow. There were some favorites, but I think the host girls made their own choices and cut half of the dudes. I was picked to stay on stage!

Next, the remaining contestants each got about fifteen seconds for a individual dance solo which was terrifying when my number came up.

I can't dance.

Hell yeah!

Layla and I spooned intimately, naked on the towel...

I said dirty things to her

I kept kissing her.

I caressed her body

I rubbed her boobies.

I masturbated her.

I put my cock in her.

I pushed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change things up.

Layla and I spooned intimately, naked on the towel...

I continued rubbing between her legs.

I said dirty things to her

I kissed her.

I caressed her body

I rubbed her boobies.

I put my cock in her.

I pushed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change things up.

Layla and I spooned intimately, naked on the towel...

I said dirty things to her

I kissed her.

I rubbed her boobies.

I masturbated her.

I put my cock in her.

I pushed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change things up.

I my Layla's .

I shared my white-hot sexual energy with her.

Layla's swimsuit covered the lady triangle between her legs, but I couldn't keep my eyes off the appealing mound underneath and the gather of orange fabric over it that concealed the dusky gateway to pleasure.

Layla kept her legs held modestly together, so I was granted the "Playboy" version of her sweet frontal:

the smooth triangle of bare skin mounded at the fork of her legs like halves of a peach, just the briefest nub of her clit visible as the bottom point, and the beginning squiggle of her pussy lips tucked between her velvet thighs.

the vertical strip of her blondauburnbrunetteblack Brazilian wax like a fuzzy runway leading down to the nub of her clit, and the slightest squiggle of her upper pussy lips tucked between her velvet thighs.

the neatly trimmed triangle of her blondauburnbrunetteblack pubic hair pointing down toward her neatly hooded nub and the beginning of her love-slot.

the thatch of her natural blondauburnbrunetteblack pubic hair shrouding her clit and the beginning of her pussy lips from view.

My genitals stirred at the sight of succulent womanflesh, and we were clearly off on a trip to the Leaning Tower of Penis, I feared. I shifted slightly, hoping to keep a semblance of control.

My shlong throbbed its way toward a full erection, pressing uncomfortably against my shorts and creating a huge bulge that would have been embarrasing at age twelve solving a problem at the blackboard.

There was no stopping it. My dick was fully hard, standing straight out. There was no possible way to avoid the horizontal elephant in my shorts. I tried adjusting a bit, dressing it down my left leg, but these were Rick's swimtrunks, not mine, and they were half-thigh length instead of knee-length. So when my erection popped through the mesh pouch on inside, my cockhead threatened to peek out from the leg hole...in the room. My only strategy was to ignore it completely.

It must have been a lack of bloodflow in my head, but I didn't have a chance to target my squirting ejaculation.

My cock was locked and loaded, jerking it furiously over Layla like I was a professional porn star:

"Are you ready for my jizz!"

"What? Ready for wha–"

"HERE COMES MY JIZZ! I bellowed...

"OH BABY I WANT YOUR JIZZ ALL OVER ME!" she demanded.

"YEAH?"

"I want your spunk all over me, !"

fapfapfapfapFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP

It must have been a lack of bloodflow in my head, but I temporarily forgot what the word bukkake actually meant, and the split second delay meant I lost my chance to frost Layla like a Japanese porn star.

I pulled my cock out, locked and loaded, jerking it furiously over Layla like I was a professional porn star:

"Are you ready for my jizz!"

"What? Ready for wha–"

"HERE COMES MY JIZZ! I bellowed...

"OH BABY I WANT YOUR JIZZ ALL OVER ME!" she demanded.

"YEAH?"

"I want your spunk all over me, !"

fapfapfapfapFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP

I was on top of Layla...

And I guess you can imagine how it proceeded from there...

We made out.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I played with her tits.

I licked her tits.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I went down on her.

I teased her with my schlong.

I worked on her feet.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Then, all the sexuals did happen...

Fuckyeah.

Brunch on the Beach

Layla.

My was .

bbbvbvvb-b-b-b-bv-bv-bv-b-thlhb bbbb

sssphhhhgthhhhp nnnghfssllpphhh

mmm mgnnnhnn ummmm mmmhmmhmmmmm

llghhhng nnghh nnglhllchulhlupluplup

fluflulflufluflubvPhGHHHppbbptt

I caressed her some more.

I fingered her pussy.

My tongue adventured to her ass.

I came up for air.

Adventuring in the Forbidden Valley

Layla.

My was .

I remained in the forbidden zone.

FAGROON LANA FASHUNK FAGROON LANA FASHUNK

nn-nn nn=nngg nn-ngggg

EEYAAAOOORRNNNNN OHH AHHHH FONDLE YEAH MMMM SLURP UHHH

SHPLIPPLE DROOT GLORT

I caressed her body.

I fingered her pussy.

My tongue adventured to her ass.

I came up for air.

Layla and I maneuvered so I was on my back and she straddled my face, leaning down over my crotch.

69 baby...

Layla pushed her body back onto my cock. I felt the tip press against the smear of her moist flesh before it parted and embraced my hardness, slowly engulfing every inch all the way down to my pubesthe hilt.

She leaned down, lips close to my ear. "You like that?"

"Oh yes..."

She squeezed her muscles on my penis as the wet tip of her tongue invaded my ear canal, sending shivers of pleasure all over that made me cringe and thrust deeper into her.

"I'm a firewoman, !" she announced, leaning back and lifting her crotch up high over my hard shaft. I got to watch her maneuver it in, her inner labia tucking slickly in as she inched down, eager to put out my blazing crotch fire.

"Red alert! Call 911! I'm sliding down the pole!" she giggled as our crotches bumped together.

"Ohhhhwww! Danger! She's gonna blow!" I responded.

"Roger that!" she moaned, thrusting up and down firmly mm...mmm...mmm...yeahah!

My cock found the entrance to her vagina again, and she moved her hips in circles, making it edge fractionally deeper inside.

"Oh fuckyeah!" I gasped. "I want to be inside you!"

"Yeah?" she said. "You want that?"

Her hips sank all at once, plunging me all the way in.

My dick slid up into Layla's hot, slippery pussy with ease.

Layla's fingers guided my pole between her legs again, and she slid down with a grunt. She leaned down and moved her body back and forth, engulfing my rod over and over.

Layla maneuvered my cock inside her, and slid neatly down on it again.

We bred the stallion.

Fucking Layla's ass, doggy style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I spanked her ass.

I gave Layla the reacharound.

I pulled out.

I pulled back a bit, letting my hard cock slip out of Layla's pussy.

My cock slipped out of her, slapping wetly against my stomach.

I withdrew my penis carefully.

I slowly pulled my dick out. Her glistening pussy lips folded together like a flower in reverse.

I withdrew my penis from Layla's vagina.

Mmm.

I was fucking Layla in the missionary position...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I just kept fucking her.

I kissed her as I fucked her...

I played with her tits...

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I lifted her legs up.

I moved my cockhead to press against her asshole.

I lowered her legs back to the towel

I pulled my dick out.

My cock was slick with our juices and the suntan oil. I pressed it to the twitching pucker of her anus.

Her ass was so hot...

Layla pulled her knees to her chest and widened her legs. I leaned back so I could see where I was going.

I pushed forward carefully...

"I want to fuck you in the ass, Layla," I panted. "Is it okay to put it in your ass?"

"Umm. I'm not quite ready for that yet," she replied. "I need to be really revved to get buttfucked. Consider that a challenge, though!"

Fair enough.

"Mmm," Layla said. "Let's give it a try, but be careful; I'm really tight back there, and you might be a little too big for me."

Never was a more awesome sentence uttered on a beach...

"Yeah, give me your big fucking cock in my ass, !"

No sooner said...

I couldn't help myself, I was too far over the first hill of the roller coaster and my stomach muscles were fluttering like I was falling.

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty in Layla's embrace.

Layla and I spooned intimately, naked on the towel...

I played with her boobs some more.

I kissed her.

I said dirty things to her

I caressed her body

I masturbated her.

I put my cock in her.

I pushed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change things up.

Side by side plowing Layla's ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Side by side plowing Layla's ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Side by side plowing Layla's ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

I pushed Layla up a bit, letting my cock slip out.

I embraced Layla, squeezing her so she lifted up off my cock, which slapped wetly against my stomach.

My penis slipped out. Layla relaxed down on top of me, kissing my neck.

My dick popped out, springing straight up.

I withdrew my penis from Layla.

Yeahh.

Layla sat up and leaned back a bit, guiding my cock to to her anus.

I positioned myself carefully...

"I want to fuck you in the ass, Layla," I panted. "Is it okay to put it in your ass?"

"Umm. I'm not quite ready for that yet," she replied. "I need to be really revved to get buttfucked. Consider that a challenge, though!"

Fair enough.

"Mmm," Layla said. "Let's give it a try, but be careful; I'm really tight back there, and you might be a little too big for me."

Never was a more awesome sentence uttered on a beach...

"Yeah, I want your big fucking cock in my ass, !"

No sooner said...

Layla on top, my cock buried in her ass...

.

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I reached for her breasts.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Layla on top, my cock buried in her ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I moved my hands to her boobs.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Layla on top, my cock buried in her ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I continued rubbing her boobs.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Layla on top, my cock buried in her ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Side by side plowing Layla's ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

I pulled back my energy for some quick power-breathing. I reserved my impending ejaculation and pulled it back, letting all physical pleasure and antici-pation sink back to zero.

"What are you doing?" Layls asked.

"I'm hitting the snooze button on my orgasm," I replied.

"Your orgasms have a button?"

Mmm. Control.

Layla straddled me...

I caressed her body.

I grabbed her tits.

She leaned down to kiss me.

I said nasty, nasty things.

I decided to change things up.

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on Layla's...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on her...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

Layla was riding me cowgirl-style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I fucked her hard.

I said dirty things to her.

I played with her tits.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I spanked her booty.

I pulled out.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on Layla's...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

I tried to think of something un-sexy to cool myself down...

I thought hard about my Aunt Tillie who was fond of chewing tobacco and for whom stylish hats never went out of style.

The higher the hat, the closer to Jesus.

I pictured Aunt Tillie again, and imagined her weathered lips planting a wet kiss on my cheek.

Safe, for now.

I pictured Aunt Tillie massaging butter into the Thanksgiving turkey, peeling up the raw skin and rubbing sprigs of rosemary into the raw meat.

Her turkey was always good though...

I recalled that time during the photo at a family reuninion that Aunt Tillie grabbed hold of my sixteen-year-old buttcheek and wouldn't let go until the flash went off.

I think she always had a thing for me...

I pictured Aunt Tillie naked in the shower, lathering her ample "bosom".

Why did she always leave the door open?

I pictured Aunt Tillie again, how she would always have coffee-cake when we visited, and how she would pop her teeth out as she kissed down my OH GOD NO IT WASN'T WORKING THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN I CAN'T HOLD OFF STOP STOP IT AAAGGHH–

GODNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on Layla's...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

I was on top of Layla...

My hands were all over her.

I played with her tits.

We made out.

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I went down on her.

I teased her with my schlong.

I asked her to suck my cock.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I was on top of Layla...

I kept rubbing my cock on her pussy...

I played with her tits.

We made out.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I licked her tits...

I said dirty things to her...

I went down on her.

I teased her with my schlong.

I asked her to suck my cock.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I stood up over Layla, my erect penis casting a long shadow. "Any chance you'd be interested in sucking my dick?"

"I think that could be arranged," Layla said, moving to her knees in front of me.

I breathlessly stood up, my erection wobbling over Layla, and she reached for it again.

Thorough knob-polishing ensued...

I was on top of Layla...

I couldn't keep my mouth off her tits...

And I guess you can imagine how it proceeded from there...

I rubbed her tits.

We made out.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I said dirty things to her...

I went down on her.

I teased her with my schlong.

I asked her to suck my cock.

And...well...we "did it"...

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I respectfully entered her.

I stuck it in.

I put my peepee in her hoohah.

I sheathed the lusty broadsword within the maiden's velvet scabbard.

We proceeded to fuck like crazy monkeys.

I decided to change it up a bit...

The wet tee shirt contest was starting and I was on a mission, but a hot girl with long hair in a little black dress stepped in front of me and convinced me to enter the male strip contest that was happening just before.

Of course I'd do it–if there is one thing that looks better than my body, it's my body in motion.

Chicks screamed their heads off as I tore apart the cheap white (six for ten dollars at the cart the beach) tee shirt I was wearing like an Incredible Hulk, working my ribcage and my torso muscles in a sinewy S motion, revealing my defined and sculpted musculature. Mike ain't so magic now, is he?

I left them wanting more.

I gave them the full Monty.

So that happened.

I had resigned myself to chug this one beer and then call it a night, hoping that Froody and everyone else would be holed up in another hotel room playing D&D. I could have enough quiet time to myself to just pass out in relative peace...

"Is this seat taken?"

The stool next to me was empty, and I automatically said, "Naw, help yourself," when I looked back and realized it was her. She'd changed into some denim shorts and her hair was still wet, but she was wearing the fire-orange bikini top that matched the wrung-out thong bottoms stuffed in the top of the duffel bag she thunked down on the concrete next to her stool and zipped up.

"Did you see where the bartender went?" she asked, leaning forward and looking down the length of the bar, flashing me a brief glimpse of her boob as her loose bikini top slipped forward.her ample boobs hanging roundly, barely restrained by the bikini top as they dangled for a second.

My brain assembled a series of words that seemed logical at that moment:

That should impress her...

Layla rolled her hips, obviously enjoying the ride.

"Unngh... It feels so good to sit on your cock, !"

Layla rocked back and forth on my Johnson, undulating her body, sliding her hands up her stomach and over her breasts, breathing heavily.

Layla planted her hands and knees on the towel over me, and I rapidly bucked up into her, my balls slapping up and down.

"Yeah, fuck me, ..."

"Oh, god, that feels so good!" she gasped as I thrust underneath her.

Layla bounced up and down, her tits jigglingher breasts swinging and jouncing all over with the effort. Her velvet sheath pulsed and twitched on my rod as it slid in and out.

"You like that hot pussy, ?"

"Fuck yeah I do!"

"Is it nice and tight on your big hard dick?"

"Mmm yeah... Fuck me, Layla!"

I pounded my hips and my cock into her like a machine.

"OohhhOOHHHhhhhyeahhh fuck my tight pussy!" she moaned.

My fingers sunk into the flesh of her asscheeks. Layla leaned forward and I planted my feet and jackrabbited, piledriving in and out high speed thap thap thapthapthapthapthapthapthapthap!

Layla growled like a cavewoman as my fingers laced with hers and I lifted my ass off the sand, floating in the air and keeping her off balance like the first ride without training wheels.

"Unnngghhh yeah! Fuck me, !"

"Ride me baby! Just like that!" I hissed through gritted teeth.

I .

Aw yeah. I was ready to engage in some hardcore titfuckery.

I mounted her chest and put my fat cock between her glistening boobs and then pushed them together around my fucking cock and I started fucking her tits yea fucking her tits and fucking and fucknmfucknemfuckenemohfuckyeahfuckinhertitties...

"Is this Wednesday?" she asked, draping her arm over her head to shade her eyes.

nNGHHH NNNGH NGGHH YEAH I was fucking her tittays yeah I was thrusting my big fuckin dick jamming it between her jugs and just fuckin pistoning like a fuckin pistoning machine that fuckin pistons things like I was fuckin pistoning my dick in between her gorgeous perfectly-sized boobies I never wanted it to end this is so fucking hot Layla fuckinyertitties mashin' your mammaries glazing your donuts with my hot fuckin creamy insides ohfuuuuhhk ohh ohh fuuuhhHHhhhhhk fuuuuck fuck

Layla twisted under me a bit, stretching her arm. "Can you– Do you see where my sunglasses got to? Oh they're down there. Can you reach those?

yeah i fuckin handed her her sunglasses but I didn't stop fuckin her tits because I was fuckin fuckin her fuckin tits her fuckin global assets her fucking warm tittays

"Oh, thank you," she said, putting them on and relaxing back to gaze at the sky.

mushed on my fucking fat fucking cock fucking her mammary Matterhorns, her jubilant jubblies, her beavage made of cleavage, and i was totally boffing her tits like fuckin world champion Russian Olympic titty-boffing chamption ten ten ten ten nine-point-five from the USA...fuckin Trump ruins fucking everything but I was fucking some titties

"I kept thinking all morning that this was Tuesday, but it's Wednesday. Is it Wednesday, ?"

teabaggin the tatas like a fucking superhero who fucks titties I was like TITTYMAN but that was lame nngh nnf nf nf nf nnff FUCKIN TITTYMAN no TITYFUCKMAN no that's stupid nf oogh ohhgh

"Ooh, oh... Oh!"

my fucking humongous dick was nnf! nnngh! nnn! all the way through her boobs poking her chin like hay look at me fuckin your titties and she

"Oh, well, hello 's penis. Wow, I can reach it with my mouth, nnggphpghh llgnn– Ow...ooch! That hurts my neck. Sorry!"

she leaned back after licking my cockhead a bit but that was okay cause i was still fuckin her titties nnghh nnnn fuckyea fuckin titties around my dee-ick fuckin bettween her jugs and

fuckin titty fuckin is the greatest fuckin thing titty fuckin

Layla's gaze wandered over to the beach. "Hey look on the boulders, Those seagulls are totally doing it. Look, look!"

cause I was fuckin fuckin her fuckin fucktits and I kept fuckin fucknem cause

"Did you ever read any Gertrude Stein?"

"No I never read any Gertrude Stein why are you asking my about Gertrude Stein when I'm fuckin fuckin your fuckin round not Gertrude Stein appletitties?"

"I was just wondering."

cause I was fuckin fuckin her fuckin fucktits and I kept fuckin fucknem cause

"What about Beckett?"

"Um. I think so in high school."

"Yeah. Me too."

cause I was fuckin fuckin her fuckin fucktits and I kept fuckin fucknem cause

"Did you read any Sartre?"

"Uhhh, yeah. No Exit, right?"

"Yeah, No Exit."

Enough of that.

no cause i kept fucking fucking her tits...

Yeah those seagulls were totally doing it.

"Come and sit in front of me, and I'll oil you up good," she directed. I plopped down on the edge of the towel and Layla moved behind me, her legs on each side like we were preparing a bobsled run.

Her slick palms moved in outward circles on my shoulderblades, covering my upper back in ever widening loops. Firm pressure both relaxed my muscles and hardened other parts of me.

"Unhhhhhhhhhh!"

"I told you I had good fingers, didn't I?"

"I... don't... remember...nnngoh right there!"

"Yea-hh!" she said, brushing her lips on the back of my neck.

Oil smeared over my shoulders and under my arms. "Hold still!" she ordered as she squeezed, reaching through to squeeze my pecs unexpectedly.

Her thumbs circled down my ribs, and I had to tighten my stomach as she spread the oil to my sides and chest, progressively mushing her breasts into my back. As she moved, I could feel her nipples harden and press into my skin. Mmmm... Her hands reached around from behind to work on my chest, her fingers tangling in my chest hair, circling my pecs in decreasing circles to my nipples.

"Does that feel good?"

"Oh...godyes..." My eyes rolled back in my head as she gently strummed my nipples with her slick fingertips, raising them to steel points. Tingles rippled from them down my stomach right to my dick, and her fingers followed...

I leaned back with my eyes closed as her hands wandered lower on my stomach, almost too much of a tickling to handle–I looked at her, our faces close. "This is so nice, Layla..."

"Mmhm."

She brushed the waistband of my trunks and wiggled her fingers in a half inch. I exhaled as her lips brushed the side of my neck to my earlobe–

"All right, stand up and I'll get your legs."

She worked her way up my thighs, under the hem of my swimtrunks. My scrotum twinged each time her knuckles or her wrists just brushed the mesh swim pouch containing it.

Layla patted my butt, "These will give you a cute tanline. Turn around."

I did, and she made sure the fronts of my legs were also well-oiled. I could feel her breath on my stomach. "Almost done," she said.

More oil and gentle kisses in random places below the waist, probing my belly button with just the tip of her tongue, ending with a stomach kiss, and then one unexpected raspberry which mage me cringe back, laughing.

"How was that," she grinned up at me.

Awesome!

You're getting me so horny!

Mmmmmhhh!

"Come lay on your stomach on the towel," she directed. "I'll get you all nice and slippery."

"I think you've already got me pretty slippery," I murmured as I planted myself, pulling my penis forward so it wouldn't drill an oil well through the beach towel.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to oil up your buns if you're going to be out in the sun naked like this," she said patting my backside, making by glutes twinge pleasantly.

"You're the boss," I smiled and laid my face down.

Layla rubbed her slick palms in outward circles on my shoulderblades, covering my upper back in ever widening loops. Firm pressure both relaxed my muscles and hardened others.

"Unhhhhhhhhhh!"

"I told you I had good fingers, didn't I?"

"I... don't... remember...nnnoh right there!"

"Yea-hh!" she said, brushing her lips on my shoulderblade and giving it a smacky kiss before resuming coaxing the oil down my back toward the tops of my glutes.

She crawled behind me then, and a good amount of time went by where I was incomprehensible because she gave me the roughest, most perfectly thorough foot massage I've experienced. I don't normally have people touch my feet, but I melted under her touch.

Higher and higher her hands circled on my calves and the backs of my thighs, her slick knuckles nudging betwen my legs where my scrotum was mushed against the towel.

"Uhh... I'll give you an hour to stop that..." I mumbled.

Then hot oil drizzled in the small of my back and she spread it downward, kneading my asscheeks in a manner that made me feel somewhat vulnerable in a way that I never would expect to find pleasant. The heat of the sand and her massage was melting me into putty on the beach.

"Wanna make sure your buns don't burn..." She kneaded them a minute more, then I could feel warm oil melting down my ass crack and dripping to my balls. She then massaged my actual asscrack in a way I never knew a girl would consider doing. She was rubbing out tension I didn't even know existed.

She planted a few kisses on my buttcheeks and then blew a raspberry. "!" she exclaimed with a gentle swat. "Okay, turn over and I'll do your front."

I flipped over with my feet toward the water as she knelt above my head. I was ridiculously hard, but by now that was a constant. She stroked my jaw and neck, thne coconut scented oil splashed across my chest and rubbed into my pecs in slow circles as I was treated to the sight of her bare breasts hovering directly above my face. I considered lunging up to lick one, but I didn't want to distract her from what she was doing.

She oiled each shoulder and arm, tickling my armpits, even massaging my forearms and hands and each individual finger. Her hands moved down my abdomen, which meant she crawled more and more on top of me. Her stomach hovered above my face as she alternately kissed and oiled her way down my belly. I closed my eyes as her fingers rooted through my pubes, slicked around the base of my erection, working around my shaft to my balls so the entirety of my genitals was in her grasp.

"Very important not to let this part burn," she said, and her palms slid up the length of my cock, oily palms rubbing in alternation as if to warm her hands, or start a fire by spinning a stick that happened to be very sensitive! I gasped as warm lightning spread through my groin. She continued to carefully lube me up gently enough that I wasn't going to come right then...

When I opened my eyes, I realized she was straddling my face, legs spread wide, her thonged buttcheeks jiggling above, only five inches and a thin layer of lycra between my face and her pussy.

I grabbed her ass and buried my face in her crotch.

I laid back, enjoying the view of her ass.

Best view on the beach!

I hooked a finger in her thong strap and pulled it aside.

Fucking Layla's ass, doggy style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I spanked her ass.

I gave Layla the reacharound.

I pulled out.

Layla on top, my cock buried in her ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

This Is Not An Exit

I continued fucking Layla's round apple titties as round as apples ...

Layla on top, my cock buried in her ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

I gave Layla's buns a tentative gentle smack with both hands, then caressed the soft flesh with my hands to soothe it.

"Ooh," Layla said. "Kinky much?"

I carefully slapped her round, pale buttcheek with the palm of my hand.

"Do you like that?" I asked.

"Mmm. I must have been a naughty girl. I'll tell you when to stop!"

I smacked Layla's butt again, rubbing my palm against it, feeling the slight heat rising from her skin.

"Ffffff! Oooh!"

I spanked her asscheeks alternately a few times in succession. She made a high squeak, but wiggled them tantalizingly under my hands.

I spanked her left buttcheek crisply, several times in succession.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Spank my ass, !

I swatted her ass a couple of times, then spread her cheeks apart, my fingers sinking into her reddening flesh.

"FFFF...oooh, okay, ease up a little."

Layla grunted as I spanked her ass thoroughly again.

"Nnngh! Nggh! Be gentle with me, Uncle !"

Layla rotated her butt as I delivered several light, erotic slaps to each cheek.

"I promise not to take your horses out at night and ride them bareback, Jericho!"

"Huh?"

"Jericho is the lusty stablemaster in the book I'm writing."

I spanked Layla good. "Who's your daddy?"

"Oh, you...ooof!"

"What's my name?"

"Ooof! Ooof! ...it's !"

"Mmm. Yeah. Good girl," I muttered.

"You just wait, . Payback is a bitch," she giggled.

"Okay, give my buns a rest, will you?" she said breathlessly. "I didn't bring my riding crop to the beach, so you lucked out a bit."

I rubbed Layla's ass gently since she told me she was done with the spanking.

"Okay, remind me who Jericho is again?"

"Sorry," she said. "Jericho is the swarthy, rugged love interest in this erotic romance novel I'm writing. Forgive me if my inside fantasies slip out from time to time."

"Do I remind you of Jericho?" I asked.

"Well... He's a tall, swarthy, impossibly muscular former pirate with long, dark hair to his waist who speaks in broken sentences because he's from the untamed wilds of South America."

"So, no?" I grinned.

"You'll do just fine," she replied. "But I like to imagine him sometimes when I close my eyes!"

"Your novel is about him?"

"No, the protagonist is virginal Chelsea Simone Wentworth, and Jericho is their lusty, usually-shirtless stablehand who desires her for his own, but she has to save herself so she will be a virgin on her wedding night two years hence to the handsome but extremely jealous Victor Chesterton III, the impetuous son of a merchant tycoon who is on a mission to kill every pirate he comes across."

"Your romance novel protagonist is a virgin? That's original."

Layla snorted. "Yeah, I know, right?"

"How old is she if she's a virgin?"

"Twenty-seven. And a half. She's very sheltered."

"In the novel, Jericho and Chelsea's love cannot flourish, so finally he cannot control his impulses and ravishes her in the stable, they figure out that if she can relax her dainty sensibilities and upbringing, that he can do her in the butt without spoiling her virginity for her wedding night," she explained.

"That sounds fascinating, Layla."

"This has been my fantasy since I was in junior-high, so I apologize if I occasionally start calling you Jericho," Layla said.

"Okay, fine, as long as he's not like a real ex-boyfriend or something, call me what you please."

"Okay!" she giggled happily.

"Ahar, I'm a lusty ex-pirate! Yo-ho!"

"Okay, you don't need to talk, you're spoiling it. His voice is very deep and manly."

"I'm gonna drink this bottle of rum before I rip off your dainty satin bloomers and rape your delicate Victorian derriere in this pile of hay, Landlubber Chelsea!"

"Okay, shh, you're ruining it!" she giggled.

"I'm gonna press my swarthy pirate cock between your dainty unspoiled boobies and deliver my exotic cargo of pina colada onto your delicate neck! Yahar!"

"You're the worst pirate I've ever had, !"

"But I thought you were a virgin?"

"Stop!" she said, trying to remain sexy by not laughing.

"!" I growled in my best pirate brogue.

Layla was on all fours in front of me...

I loved playing with her ass!

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I spanked her booty.

I ate her out.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I held still, letting her get used to my cock in her tight asshole.

"FFFsss, ooough... you're so big... careful..."

"It's okay," I said, rubbing her skin.

"Mmmgh! Mmgh! Ohhgh! Jesus!" she hissed.

"I know it's big, but you don't have to call me that..."

"Hold still... Careful... ssssSSSSsssunghgod!"

"I know it's big, but–"

"I'm'a fuck your ass," she said, smacking my hand semi-playfully.

Her tight anal ring squeezed tightly around my cock, twitching.

"Are you gonna be okay, Layla?"

"Yeah, just... give me a moment," she said, taking several deep breaths.

"Mmghh!" Layla grunted, her ass impaled on my cock.

"Am I seriously that big?" I asked, since she hadn't acted impressed or anything before.

"You're definitely not small, let's just call you girthy.

Her ass relaxed a little, and I moved my hips just a tiny bit, feeling my shaft slide a fraction inside her rectum.

"Oh! Go slow!" Layla hissed.

But I could feel her sphincter slowly giving up the fight.

Her voice got really high ohhh ooh ooh ohhhhhh ooooooOOOoooh!– as her butt muscles let go, and my cock slid all the way in.

"UUUUNNghhhhh!" she grunted as I began gentle, shallow thrusts in her tight butthole.

I grabbed Layla's ass, rubbing her round globes in slow, outward circles, spreading them apart.

I squeezed her firmsoft, generous buns enjoying their round smoothness.

I rooted my fingers into her crack, finding her puckered hole and circling it with my middle finger.

I continued fondling Layla's gorgeous ass.

I fingered Layla's pussy from behind...

I kept fingering her cunt.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I rubbed her ass.

I spanked her butt.

I ate her out.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

I was eating Layla's pussy from behind...

I continued licking her pussy from behind.

I moved to lick her asshole.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I rubbed her ass.

I spanked her booty.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Fucking Layla's ass, doggy style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

I gave Layla the reacharound.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Fucking Layla's ass, doggy style...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued fingering her as I fucked her ass.

I kept fucking her ass.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

Side by side plowing Layla's ass...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I spanked her ass.

I pulled out.

I was eating Layla's pussy from behind...

I continued licking her ass from behind.

I moved my mouth to her cunt.

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I rubbed her ass.

I spanked her booty.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

Layla was completely naked, her womanly treasures spread wide for me.

She was shaved completely smooth down there, just how I like it, revealing the entirety of her peachy outer labia halves enclosing the glistening squiggle of darker pink inner folds.

She had a perfect vertical stripe of blondauburnbrunetteblack pubic hair leading down to the nub of her clit–all the better to nuzzle your nose in!–while leaving access to the entirety of her peachy outer labia halves enclosing the glistening squiggle of darker pink inner folds. I like my pussy medium-rare; the combo of fuzz and pink meat is delicious.

I tell you, I really appreciate a beautifully-trimmed, perfect triangle of pubic hair, and that's how she kept it. Her sculpted blondauburnbrunetteblack muff set off the luscious pink of her outer lips, which were neatly shorn. Her glistening purple folds hid within, a modest oval diamond waiting to bloom into a fantasy that would make Georgia O'Keefe scrub her bean like no tomorrow.

Layla let her bush grow wild, and that was just fine with me. She had an impressive 70's porn starlet jungle of blondauburnbrunetteblack hair between her legs which almost veiled the pink stub of her clit and the swell of her labia. I was all ready to Indiana Jones those brushlands face first, plant my flag in the entrance to her hidden temple, and plunder the wondrous, arcane secrets deep inside.

I honestly don't get guys who say they can't fucking find the clitoris, it's right there at the top and doesn't move around!

Her clit was nicely prominent, about the size of the tip of my thumb. I don't like the "man in the boat" description; I prefer to imagine a shy, rose-hooded nun peeking through the heavy curtains of the convent window, eager to emerge into the sun and burst into song, after which she would hit the showers naked with her fellow hot, young, nun-sisters and they would all help each other lather their nubile, untouched heaven flesh with home-made artisan soap...

But that's another letter altogether!

My genitals stirred at the sight of succulent womanflesh, and we were clearly off on a trip to the Leaning Tower of Penis. I wanted to stick it in her to hide its embarrasing volume.

My shlong throbbed its way toward a full erection, pressing uncomfortably against my shorts and creating a huge bulge that would have been embarrasing at age twelve solving a problem at the blackboard. I wanted to bury it like a bone inside her.

There was no stopping it. My dick was fully hard, standing straight out. There was no possible way to avoid the horizontal elephant in my shorts. I tried adjusting a bit, dressing it down my left leg, but these were Rick's swimtrunks, not mine, and they were half-thigh length instead of knee-length. So when my erection popped through the mesh pouch on inside, my cockhead threatened to peek out from the leg hole...in the room. My only strategy was to ignore it completely and hope to bury it very soon in Layla or in the sand.

I could only move slowly at first, as Layla's firm backside gripped me like a fist.

I slowly and steadily moved in and out of her butthole as her whole body relaxed.

Her breathing quickened as she got into it.

I held still for a second, feeling the pounding of her heart throbbing in a tight ring around my dick.

"Fuck, yeah, pound me good," Layla ordered.

I didn't need to be told, and quickened my pace in and out of her tight butt.

"Uh huh! Do it, ..."

"You feel so good, Layla!" I said, pounding into her with strong, slow thrusts.

I slipped out of her ass, but she quickly guided me back in.

"Ooh, it feels so good in my ass..."

"Mmmmm fuck my ass, !"

"Oh...oh..." she grabbed my wrist. "Slow down just a little bit."

I repositioned my legs, and we found a new angle before resuming.

"Yeah fuck that ass you dirty boy, do it... mmmmmmmmmMMMmmmmfuuuuck..."

I

I moved my face between Layla's widespread legs.

I breathed on her bare, intimate flesh, inhaling the dusky scent of her sex.

My nose nuzzled in her blondreddishbrunettedark pubes, inhaling the dusky scent of her sex, breathing on her intimate flesh.

Again, I moved my face close to her completely smooth vagina.

I buried my face in Layla's pussy again.

Thpthpthpthpthp...

Shampooing her snatch...

Layla.

My was .

I digitally implemented her womanhood.

bubble bubble bubble bubble

peppers coupons peppers coupons

umunnghngnumnum mmm mm Ah AH OH mgm mm

ladleadleadleadle

stipplestipplestipple stipple

I caressed her body.

I fingered her pussy.

My tongue adventured to her ass.

I came up for air.

My fingers inadvertently slipped beneath the fabric of her bottoms. I got a brief feel of the softest, most slippery, warm... So shockingly beauitful I withdrew my hand as if it didn't belong there.

I returned to her legs.

I returned to her back.

I returned to her butt.

Brunch on the Beach

Layla .

My was .

mmnrorrrrnglnghLRRPHGHrrrrrlghlhglhror

sssphhhhgthhhhp thhpphghghgpsssss

mmm mgnnnhnn ummmm mmmhmmhmmmmm

thkthkathkathhlththththththth

lobblelbblelobble

Just eating her pussy...

I moved my hands on her.

I fingered her pussy.

My tongue adventured to her ass.

I came up for air.

Layla grasped my penis and massaged the foreskin up and down over the head.

"Such a nice dick, ."

Layla wrapped her hand around my shaft, gauging the thickness. Her hand didn't make it around the circumfrence. The skin moved smoothly up and down as she stroked it. Wow.

"Your dick feels so big in my hand, ! She continued stroking it while brushing the head across her soft lips.

Layla planted small, soft kisses along the length of my shaft, then licked the base of my balls.

Oh yeah, Layla put the tip of my cock in her mouth and lavished it with her lips and tongue, moaning softly.

Layla's head bobbed on my dick as she looked up at me. My cock looked so good in her mouth. I brushed her hair out of her eyes.

She held the head between her lips and moved her tongue in circles. Back and forth over that little flap that runs down from the slit.

Mmmghphghh...

Nnnghngng... she said around my cock.

Just like that. She held the base with her hand and inched her mouth slowly down the shaft, using her tongue to get it wet so her lips slid further down

fsggphgh

She moved her hand, simultaneously stroking and sucking...

oomgph mpghh hghhmph ngk nk... lagglelogglelogglelgnnph..fssghhph.

She kept moving her tongue the whole time...

nnglughh mmgh mghhhm...

Her lips slid down further and my cockhead just touched the soft part at the back of her throat. She didn't go too far down so as to gag. My cock deep, small gulps around the shaft:

Nlgh nghh ckhg kchlughhh mm mgn mgnhhgh...ngh...slphghhph–pahh!

She came up for air and smiled at me.

Mmm...mpgh. Lahgghlglhglhghlhg

She licked all around the head, Moghlgh mmmgph glhaglghlhlalalal

She gently squeezed my balls, encircling the scrotum with her thumb and forefinger and tugging just bit to extend my cock to its full length.

Then she started going up and down real deep, bumping the back of throat each time nkk nghh mpgh ghghh mognnhhlh

Layla licked the tip of my cock all over real good to get it real wet, then stroked vigorously and steadily, her fist pumping up and down quickly, keeping my mouth nearby to continue breathing on it and providing mouth stimulation...

glaghlalalaghfcshpflglglh

"Oh god, that feels so good...

ggl gk gk gk gkngkh ngk

Layla continued to .

"Oh, baby. I'm gonna come! I'm so close!"

Layla stopped sucking me and pressed up on a spot under my balls.

"No you're not," she grinned.

When she let go of my balls, I was still turned on, but the urge to orgasm had retreated.

We did something else.

She continued sucking my cock.

I demonstrated my bukkake skills by jerking myself quickly to completion on her...

"Oh god, Oh Layla," I said holding her head.

"Mm?" Layla said, her mouth full.

Mmf... Mmmmmmgh... uuuGGhhhhh OOOOOFFF!

Layla figured out what was happening and let me squirt in her mouth. Luckily my load was normal, and she was able to rock her head back and swallow.

I exploded in Layla's mouth, and my pearly goo overflowed her lips. She turned and spat my load in the sand next to the towel.

"That exceeded expectations, I think!" she laughed, wiping her mouth.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out of the loop–" she grabbed me around the neck and kissed me hard, her lips still wet with my sauce.

"Worth it." she said, licking her lips. "Have you been eating pineapple?"

I caught my breath, collapsing spent and sweaty in Layla's embrace.

I let my tongue wander into the dark valley of mysterious enchantment.

"Ooooh," Layla squealed, not expecting an intrusion of her undercarriage.

I squiggled my tongue in Layla's coconut-scented crack, inhaling the warmth of her secret spot.

I spread her buttcheeks in earnest, planting my tongue on her tiny pink butthole. Layla's pelvis quivered, and a drop of girl juice oozed from her slit.

"Oh God, your tongue on my asshole, !"

I ran my tongue up and down the cleft of Layla's buttocks, the tip catching in the dimple of her tight little hole.

I buried my face in Layla's ass, burrowing my tongue into her.

"Oh! Oh! You're so dirty, I love it, !

I tongue-fucked Layla's butt, managing to get inside about a half inch.

Layla squirmed as I orally pleasured her ass.

Layla hitched in a breath as I got her entire crack wet with my spit.

I covered her buns in tiny kisses and nibbles, biting her generous flesh gently, making her butt twitch and causing her to squeal with delight.

I growled like a dog with a toy, nose buried, chewing her pink asshole.

I .

Layla sprawled before me on her beach towel, gorgeously.

Layla looked out a the ocean, watching the surfers, her hair flutteing a bit in the warm breeze.

Layla lifted her sunglasses to look out at the ocean for a moment, then replaced them.

Layla let her head relax back, looking into the blue sky above, letting her hair slip off of her neck a bit.

Layla stretched out her gleaming, oiled thighs a moment, stroking them with her hands, then bent one knee up, hugging it with her arms and lacing her fingers.

Layla bent her knees, showing me the pale bottoms of her feet, wiggling her toes girlishly.

Layla regarded me from behind her sunglasses.

Layla was running the tip of her tongue over her glossy lips idly. I resisted the urge to offer to help her with that.

Layla brushed a fluttering strand of hair out of her eyes and back over her head.

Layla leaned back, unaware of a trembling bead of sweat slowly glittering its way towards the sumptuous valley of her cleavage.

I couldn't help but noticed the tiny pool of Layla's sweat pooling on her tanned skin within the delicate cup in the small of her back.

Layla took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled.

Layla stretched her arms up over her head, lifting her boobs high for a second.

Layla pushed herself up into a yoga cobra position, then relaxed, poking her butt in the air for a second as she readjusted the towel underneath her.

Layla sunned herself dreamily on her towel.

My Spring Break Accomplishments

Read the entire help screen

Great personality

Sex magnet

Average Joe

Fucked a Swedish model

Fucked two Swedish models

Landscaping achievement

Exploited just for my body

Did not appear in Guys Gone Wild 22: Spring Break Edition

Made eight dollars.

Made eleven dollars.

Had blackout sex (?)

Abstained from random tittays

random TITTAYS

Remained clothed during an orgy

Ravaged by a pack of wild catgirls

Pd the V in a DP

Got stoned and a handy

Painted nine pewter figurines

Nearly commited a public exposure felony

Competent public dance solo

Robbed of Pirate Booty trophy

Prank: Art project

Prank: Ringtoss

Prank: Used all the hotel toothpaste

"Experimented in college"

Brojob...like a boss

Did not paint a fudge stripe down the fourth floor hallway

Displayed my equipment to half of the hotel guests (potentially)

Took care of extensive personal business

Hair of the dog

Indulged in gratuitous luxury

Shameless public onanism

Consulted Urban Dictionary

Scored with Layla

Scored with Layla in the booty

Wrote a procgen novel

Roleplayed as Layla's rugged fantasy stablehand

Professional cumshot

Received sampler of THRUSTLUST(tm) condoms

Recieved a year's supply of THRUSTLUST(tm) condoms

Satisfied Layla

Became Layla's soulmate and personal gigolo

"Hey, , I need you to service me for a little bit, okay?" Layla said, pulling away from me.

"Okay," I said, realizing I'd been neglecting her pleasure for a while. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to get down there and eat my pussy out like you know what you're doing."

She gripped my head assertively with her hand gripped a handful of my hair in her fist totally into it and directed my face between her legs straight to her glistening slit.

No complaints here.

"I want to ride your cock until my legs shake like a used hatchback with a tankful of bad gas," she said. "Lie down and let me have my way with you, stud."

She quickly pushed me onto my back and saddled up, reaching behind her to guide my cock.

Awwyeah.

"Now where should I put this thing?" Her oiled fingers moved up and down the shaft.

I want it in your pussy, baby.

Ass, please!

"I want your big dick in my mouth while I sit on your face."

"You want to sixty-nine with me?"

"However many times, I want to grind my crotch on your hot mouth."

Hell yes.

Actually what I did was...

Dear ThrustLust Magazine,

I am a college guy who eagerly looks forward to your Letters to the Editor column each and every month. I never thought I'd have a chance to actually contribute until I got home from Spring Break last month.

Let me tell you...

Hey, wait... How did I get here? What the fuck is going on?

Her hands glided to the tops of her knees.

"Oh, Jericho," she said, "I sha'n't have you battering against my garden wall for fear my mother shall hear of your intrusion. Though it is improper, I impress upon you this golden key so you may enter my garden directly through the gates as you please."

She spread her legs wide, revealing her vagina to me.

And I ran into her garden.

I didn't know what the hell she was talking about, but pussy...

Um, what?

Who the fuck is Jericho?

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I ejaculated in her mouth.

I warned her I was going to come.

I pulled out and jizzed on her...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

Layla was on her knees sucking my cock...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I enjoyed her ministrations.

I employed the art of dirty talk

I was ready to change it up.

Layla cupped my smoothhairy balls, brushing both cheeks against my throbbing cock.

"Mmm, I don't know if I can eat the whole thing!"

Layla planted gentle kisses up the length of my foreskin, moving toward the head, tugging gently on my scrotum.

She touched the top of her tongue to my purple cockhead and flickered it there just briefly.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the intimate attention.

She grasped the base of my penis, rubbing the swollen head across her pink lips.

Layla swabbed my cockhead just inside her lips, letting it mush them around.

Layla took just the head between her lips, swirling her tongue on the senstitive rim.

Layla pulled my foreskin forward, her tongue spiraling to lick under the bunched flesh.

Layla stroked my shaft gently, sliding her teeth gently over the tight purple flesh of my glans which felt unreal.

Layla moved her lips up and down, my member disappearing a quarter inch deeper into her soft mouth each time.

"Nnnghh... y'cuh' suh'guhhh." she said around it.

I could feel the tip of my cock bump the back of Layla's throat.

Layla brushed her mouth on my balls, gently taking one in her mouth.

"Nnglahk 'ah?"

"Yeah, lick my balls, babe!"

She sucked my cock with just the right amount of pressure, gliding her short nails down the fronts of my thighs and up the sides of my hips.

My cock went deeper, nudging the back of her throat as she squeezed my balls.

My dick flopped out of her mouth as she took a breath, then plunged forward, relaxing her throat. I could feel the breath from her nose on my balls.

Layla went all the way down, deep-throating my cock, nuzzling her nose against my scrotum, moving her lips up and down on the shaft before coming up for air, gasping.

"Wow."

Layla continued to .

I brushed my lips back and forth across Layla's vagina, teasing the folds apart.

I probed Layla's slit with the tip of my tongue, enjoying the taste of her inner flesh.

My tongue lapped up one side of her pussy and down the other, then zig-zagged up the pink center folds.

"That feels good, ..."

I flickered her firm clit with my tongue, making the muscles in her crotch twinge and push into my face.

I closed my lips over her clitoris sucking it gently, moving my tongue back and forth across the tip.

"Oh! Oh! Yeahhhh. lick my pussy, !

I slathered her clit with my tongue, thphpththphppthp...nnnghyeah sucking her stretchy pink folds between my lips.

I pressed my mouth on her opening, moving my face in circles, squiggling my tongue inside of her

I lapped her pussy like a dehydrated dog with a bowl of clear water all to himself.

I plunged my tongue deep inside her and wiggled it around, tasting her pink insides.

I .

What did she–do–exactly?

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

"What do I do?" she repeated. Well, I'm a businesswoman. I'm single at the moment but dating a couple people, I live near here with a cat and a dog. Their names are Pussykins and Scrote respectively.

"Wait," I said. "Businesswoman"? That's not some kind of euphemism for–

Layla laughed. "No! You're not the first person to ask me that for some reason. No, I'm not a hooker or an escort, or a stripper. Or a porn star, in case you're wondering."

"You could be a porn star if you wanted to, really," I assured.

"You're too kind."

"But what kind of businesswoman?" I pressed.

"I'm in the tourism industry. Oh, and I did have a massage therapy licence, but that's expired."

"You're a masseuse?"

"Not professionally now. I have good fingers," she displayed her short, neat manicure and wiggled her digits for me.

"So you're good at massages, huh?" I said.

"Yes, but alas, I cannot currently take money for them."

"I'll give you a dollar!"

"Shh! You'll get us both arrested!"

I decided to reframe the question. "So, what do you like to do?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows.

"Stahp it! You remind me of Wile E. Coyote when you do that and it makes me giggle. Um. You're asking sexually, right? Of course you're asking– Well. It depends on the other person. I'm pretty adventurous and up for anything. What about you? You have any hard limits or a safeword I need to take note of?"

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I like almost everything I've tried."

"Is that what they say; 'trisexual'? You'll try anything once?" she grinned.

"Well, maybe I wouldn't go that far," I answered. "But I'm open."

"Okay, my turn," she said. "Do you like eating pussy?"

"Hell yes!"

"Why sure."

"Hell no."

"I love eating pussy," I explained. "Give me all the pussy you got. I'll eat it up and ask for more."

"Good, good," she mused. "I guess I ought to be writing all this down... Your turn."

"Okay," I said, taking the challenge. "Do you like eating pussy?"

Layla threw back her head and laughed. "Man, you guys all want lesbians. Okay, true story; After Magic Mike came out on DVD me and one of my girlfriends got drunk and watched it three times in a row. Halfway through the last showing, we were both pretty drunk. So we got into a little experimental pearl diving- I can't believe I'm telling you this."

"No, please go on!"

"I'd do it again. But only with her, and only after three hours of shirtless Channing TatumJoe Manganiello on DVD."

"Nice," I said.

"Since you brought it up, do you like sucking dick?"

I hesitated.

"Don't wanna answer that one?" Layla said, noting my reluctance. "It's okay, we can move on. It's not a requirement, just a fun 'get to know you' question!"

"Naw, I'm not interested in that at all," I said. "I mean, it's fine if guys are, but..."

"No problem," she said. "I knew a guy who tried it once and said he couldn't do it because he couldn't stop thinking about the Alien movie, you know, with that face...thing?"

"Oh, shit!"

"Yeah, I know."

"I never really had the opportunity, I must say. It's never...come up in conversation. So to speak."

Layla chuckled. "Well don't knock it till you try it."

"I'm not knocking it, I'm just not going out looking for it, you know."

"Of course."

"Well, not all the time, but–you know, sometimes with my best friend Froody. I mean, like, he's my bestie, and we were watching Magic Mike this one night and..."

Layla doubled over laughing.

"You know what they say; there's no job like a brojob!" I grinned.

"I have to say, I'm more surprised that your best friend is named "Froody."

"Sure," I said. "I mean... I'm a poor college boy. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get by, you know?"

"So at this point," Layla lowered her sunglasses and gazed over them at me trying to be serious, "I need to ask if you are a gigolo of some sort."

"No," I laughed. "It's not like that at all."

"Living with a sugar-daddy?"

I should be so lucky to have a sugar-anything." I laughed. "I eat ramen noodles and bologna so I can pay my tuition."

"Seriously?" she said, as I nodded. "You must be working out so hard... You need to write a book, then, about how ramen and bologna is the magic secret to metabolsim," she said, eyeing my physique.

Turnabout is fair play, so I asked her "Do you like sucking cock?"

"If I responded that I hate sucking cock, would that be some kind of dealbreaker?" Layla asked.

Uh... Yeah.

Nope. Not at all.

"If a girl doesn't want to go down on me? I don't mind," I said. "I love blowjobs as much as the next guy, but if I like a girl and she likes me back, I consider that a gift to me, and I'm not going to force her to do anything she doesn't want to,"

"That's so sweet! You're a nice guy, . Well, I personally love going down on a guy. In fact, I've won several awards–"

My body twitched all over involuntarily. Awards?

"Oh my god, settle down, I'm just kidding!"

"What about butt stuff?" I asked quickly.

"Butt stuff," she inquired.

"Yeah. Anal. Do you like it up the ass?"

"I have...enjoyed...the dark pleasures of the forbidden area, also known as 'the booty' in the past–"

(I was so happy the immedate response wasn't "Do you like stuff in your butt?")

She continued: "–but only with the right person and under the right circumstances. If you stick it in my butt without any warning, that's a big EN OH NO right there. And potential cause for dismissal.

"So, about butt stuff..." Layla began.

(Oh god, here it comes...)

"What's the situation? Specifically with regard to yours?"

I kind of went "uhhhh" and she didn't probe further. So to speak.

"Nope. Don't like it at all," I confirmed.

"Fair enough!" she said, brightly.

"I'm fine with having my ass... kinda played with, just nothing inside it," I explained.

"So no penetration. Dammit. I knew I shouldn't have lugged my biggest strap-on along in my bag today," she said, staring at the water.

"You brought a..."

"No, I'm totally kidding," she said and we both laughed. But she reached over and zipped her bag closed, which I think was another joke...

"I love it. Bring it on," I said, grinning.

"Dammit," she said. "The one day I forget to pack my strap-on for the beach..."

We discussed our personal kinks, likes, and dislikes in both direct and euphemistic terms with each other for a while.

(discuss things you do)

I hope I'm not annoying you.

I'm glad I caught you here.

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

I giddily enjoyed watching her rear-end work up close from below. She oiled my legs in circular motions so first one of her buns would flex, then the other, then the first side would relax, then both, and that repeated in a cycle I could have watched all day; it was as if two globes of soft, risen bread dough were snuggling.

Finally, she hoisted a leg over as if she were dismounting a horse, and knelt by my side. "Okay, you're safe from the sun, ! All nice and gleaming."

"Yeah..." was all I could say.

"Sorry about the ass in the face."

Yeah...

Layla reached out, wiggling her fingers. "Oh, ."

I edged closer on the towel between her legs, my fingers brushing her smooth knees.

"Take me, you studly island beast."

I asked her to blow me.

I moved my face between her legs.

I wanted to engage in mutual oral pleasure.

I climbed on top of her.

I encouraged her to get on all fours.

I desired to cuddle with her and spoon.

I wanted her on top of me.

TITTYFUCK.

At the point I thought I had it, a salty tropical breeze blew in from the ocean and picked up every wisp of remaining napkin I had carefully arranged on the glass table, whistling them into a miniature tornado of confetti.

I nearly burned my dick on the sunheated metal balcony rail trying to catch every damn piece of that confetti, but it was like those thousands of baby spiders that hatch and float away in an expanding cloud, trusting they will land far enough from each other so that they will never meet again in adulthood and be compelled to fight to the death and cannibalize the loser.

Naked and defeated, sans my hottie digits on the fourth floor balcony overlooking the beach, I considered putting on shorts and shoes and running down there, but it would be like chasing dryer lint in every direction. I couldn't even see any of the fragments anymore.

I didn't need the napkin pieces, because I could just brute force every combination of seven, two, and nine on my phone. Surely it wouldn't take that long. Three digits, switched in every possible permutation of a ten digit–ow ow ow, brain! I couldn't conceive an equation to comprehend how hopeless that strategy was.

After some deep thought, I did the only thing I could think to do:

Which is, of course, the first stage of sexual grieving...

Oh yeah. I had to be inside her. I positioned my cock and circled it on her pussy lips. Can I say I love vagina? I love how soft the flesh is; like sweeping your dick through a bowl of whipped cream that yields but reforms perfectly.

Not that I have ever ruined a dessert by swiping my dick through it, seriously.

I aimed low, under her pubic bone, and rose up into her moist flesh, her heat like a gush of warm water flowing over my penis.

"Oh, yeah," she sighed. "You feel so good, ."

Again, my hard cock slid into her welcoming pink all the way to the balls like it belonged there. Our bodies may have been carved from the same original block of flesh as perfectly as we fit.

My cock plunged once more into Layla's velvet depths which yielded like a tight new sock, replying with hot, eager squeezes in return.

I my her .

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Sex on the Beach

by Hanon Ondricek

Testing:

Writing Support - CMG

Moral Support - AW Freyr http:awaifgames.blogspot.com/

Breast Support - Wes Lesley

Music:

"Peppy Pepe" "Shiny Tech" "Fanfare for Space" "Stringed Disco"

by Kevin MacLeod incompetch.com

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

http:creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Created for AIF Minicomp 2017

http:adultinteractivefiction.blogspot.com/

(V 1.0)

Sixty-Nining with Layla...

I could feel Layla's warm breath on my .

I could feel Layla .

Layla was .

Layla .

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept eating her ass.

I licked her cunt.

I rubbed her pussy.

I rubbed her ass.

I spanked her ass.

I caught my breath.

We decided to change it up.

Sixty-Nining with Layla...

I could feel Layla's warm breath on my .

I could feel Layla .

Layla was .

Layla .

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fingering her ass.

I ate her out.

I rubbed her pussy.

I rubbed her ass.

I licked her ass.

I spanked her ass.

I caught my breath.

We decided to change it up.

Sixty-Nining with Layla...

I could feel Layla's warm breath on my .

I could feel Layla .

Layla was .

Layla .

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I continued fingering her pussy.

I licked her twat.

I rubbed her ass.

I licked her ass.

I spanked her ass.

I caught my breath.

We decided to change it up.

Sixty-Nining with Layla...

I could feel Layla's warm breath on my .

I could feel Layla .

Layla was .

Layla .

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

Layla was a bad girl!

I kept eating her out.

I rubbed her pussy.

I rubbed her ass.

I licked her ass.

I caught my breath.

We decided to change it up.

Sixty-Nining with Layla...

Layla's entire crotch buffet of goodies was spread wide above me, just three inches from my face. I could feel her breath on my balls down below.

I touched her pussy.

I rubbed her ass.

I licked her pussy.

I ate her ass.

I spanked her ass.

We decided to change it up.

Sixty-Nining with Layla...

I could feel Layla's warm breath on my .

Layla was .

Layla .

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept eating her out.

I rubbed her pussy.

I rubbed her ass.

I licked her ass.

I spanked her ass.

I caught my breath.

We decided to change it up.

Layla was on all fours in front of me...

I said dirty things to her.

I rubbed her body all over romantically.

I moved my hand between her legs.

I fondled her ass.

I spanked her booty.

I ate her out.

I teased her with my schlong.

I inserted my penis into her vagina.

I pressed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change it up a bit...

My cock was slick with our juices and the suntan oil. I pressed it to the twitching pucker of her anus.

Her ass was so hot...

I positioned myself carefully...

"I want to fuck you in the ass, Layla," I panted. "Is it okay to put it in your ass?"

"Umm. I'm not quite ready for that yet," she replied. "I need to be really revved to get buttfucked. Consider that a challenge, though!"

Fair enough.

"Mmm," Layla said. "Let's give it a try, but be careful; I'm really tight back there, and you might be a little too big for me."

Never was a more awesome sentence uttered on a beach...

"Yeah, give me your big fucking cock in my ass, !"

No sooner said...

I lifted her leg, and Layla pressed my cock against her pussy lips until it found the hole, sliding inch by inch up inside her wet warmth.

If the surfers were paying attention, they were getting a great show.

"Oooh, yeah," Layla sighed.

I poked my cockhead against her crotch until it found her vagina again. She held her knee high as I slipped all the way inside. I hoped the surfers were watching me fuck this hot girl.

"Ohh, your cock is so big, !"

I leaned into her again, sliding my pole deep in her baldwarmhairy pussy from the side. I could feel Layla's fingers cupping my fuzzysmooth, hairless balls between her legs.

"Yeah, you feel so good in my pussy, , fuck me real deep in there!"

Fuckyeah.

Layla and I were spoonfucking on our sides...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kissed her.

I pumped my dick in and out of her.

I put my hands on her boobs.

I gave her the reacharound.

I said dirty things to her...

I pulled my dick out.

Layla and I spooned intimately, naked on the towel...

I said dirty things to her

I kissed her.

I caressed her body

I rubbed her boobies.

I masturbated her.

I put my cock in her.

I pushed my cock against her asshole.

I decided to change things up.

My cock was slick with our juices and the suntan oil. I pressed it to the twitching pucker of her anus.

Her ass was so hot...

I held my erection steady as Layla lifted her buttcheek and pushed back onto it with a grunt.

I pressed forward and met her halfway...

"I want to fuck you in the ass, Layla," I panted. "Is it okay to put it in your ass?"

"Umm. I'm not quite ready for that yet," she replied. "I need to be really revved to get buttfucked. Consider that a challenge, though!"

Fair enough.

"Mmm," Layla said. "Let's give it a try, but be careful; I'm really tight back there, and you might be a little too big for me."

Never was a more awesome sentence uttered on a beach...

"Yeah, give me your big fucking cock in my ass, !"

No sooner said...

I was delighted to note that

I tried to delay my orgasm.

I blew my wad inside her.

I pulled out and jizzed on Layla's...

I delayed my ejaculation using my Kundalini powers!

I pulled out before I came.

Fucking Layla's ass, her legs on my shoulders...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I pulled out.

Fucking Layla's ass, her legs on my shoulders...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I pulled out.

Fucking Layla's ass, her legs on my shoulders...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I pulled out.

Fucking Layla's ass, her legs on my shoulders...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

My orgasm was imminent...

I couldn't hold back...

I kept fucking her ass.

We kissed as I assfucked her.

I said filthy things to her.

I rubbed her body.

I rubbed her pussy.

I pulled out.

I squeezed my cock against her hole, which tightened up hard, preventing entry.

"You okay, babe?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to relax."

I'd need to try again.

I rubbed some oil on my cock and her asshole. This time I managed to get just the tip in, but her breath caught and the angle wasn't right and she squeezed me back out.

"Sorry. Almost there," she said taking a few deep breaths.

Slow and steady wins the butt sex...

This time I felt her tight pucker spread wide, irising open so my thick cock could dock in in the back landing bay.

Layla stiffened up, arching her back, "Oh...oooOOOOOhhhh...it's so big!"

I held still as she quivered a bit, and little by little her sphincter let go, letting my cock push through the tight but expanding ring of muscle.

I hit resistance again, holding still while her inner muscle slowly gave way, allowing my cock to slowly but surely enter her ass.

BUTTSEKS!!1

Layla spread her buttcheeks wide as I slowly pushed my dick in her tight butthole.

Free anal sex show for the surfers!

"Roll over, baby," I suggested.

"You think I'm your little dog now?" she said, raising her eyebrow but with a half-grin.

"Woof, baby. I'm your horny doggy."

"Ooh, I think I like that," she said rolling over and pushing her gorgeous ass in the air for me."

Layla turned over on all fours, leaning down against the sand with legs apart, spreading her butt and displaying all her goodies to me.

I got Layla on all fours again, positioning myself behind her.

Like the animals do...

I squeezed my cock against her hole, which tightened up hard, preventing entry.

"You okay, babe?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to relax."

I'd need to try again.

I rubbed some oil on my cock and her asshole. This time I managed to get just the tip in, but her breath caught and the angle wasn't right and she squeezed me back out.

"Sorry. Almost there," she said taking a few deep breaths.

Slow and steady wins the butt sex...

This time I felt her tight pucker spread wide, irising open so my thick cock could dock in in the back landing bay.

Layla stiffened up, arching her back, "Oh...oooOOOOOhhhh...it's so big!"

I held still as she quivered a bit, and little by little her sphincter let go, letting my cock push through the tight but expanding ring of muscle.

I hit resistance again, holding still while her inner muscle slowly gave way, allowing my cock to slowly but surely enter her ass.

BUTTSEKS!!1

Layla spread her buttcheeks wide as I slowly pushed my dick in her tight butthole.

Doggy butt sex!

My cock squeezed against her hole as she lowered herself down as if trying to sit on it. It almost felt like it might go in, but she lifted a bit and my organ diverted to the side.

"You okay, babe?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to relax."

I'd need to try again.

Layla leaned forward over me for a kiss, pressing her boobs against my chest and reaching between her legs to position my cock at the higher angle to enter her asshole. She panted hard against my neck as she tried to back up onto my schlong... I held steady, but her anus clenched tight like a fist.

"Sorry. Almost there," she said reaching behind her to massage my cock with her slick palms to lube it up more.

Slow and steady wins the butt sex...

She lifted up and sat back onto my dick again as I held it straight. This time the angle was better, and I felt the head breach the first ring of muscle.

Layla stiffened up, arching her back, "Oh...oooOOOOOhhhh...it's so big!"

I held still as she quivered a bit, and little by little her sphincter let go, letting my cock push through the tight but expanding ring of muscle.

I hit resistance again, holding still while her inner muscle slowly gave way, allowing her to sit all the way down, sliding her tight butt down my firepole.

BUTTSEKS!!1

Layla mounted up and sucked a ragged breath through her teeth as she slid her asshole down onto my shaft again...

Cowgirl butt sex!

I squeezed my cock against her hole, which tightened up hard, preventing entry.

"You okay, babe?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to relax."

I'd need to try again.

I rubbed some oil on my cock and her asshole. This time I managed to get just the tip in, but her breath caught and the angle wasn't right and she squeezed me back out.

"Sorry. Almost there," she said taking a few deep breaths.

Slow and steady wins the butt sex...

This time I felt her tight pucker spread wide, irising open so my thick cock could dock in in the back landing bay.

Layla stiffened up, arching her back, "Oh...oooOOOOOhhhh...it's so big!"

I held still as she quivered a bit, and little by little her sphincter let go, letting my cock push through the tight but expanding ring of muscle.

I hit resistance again, holding still while her inner muscle slowly gave way, allowing my cock to slowly but surely enter her ass.

BUTTSEKS!!1

Layla spread her buttcheeks wide as I slowly pushed my dick in her tight butthole.

Missionary butt sex!

"So," I announced. "I seem to be the only person who's actually nude on the nude beach today!"

Layla smirked, "Are you trying to exert some sort of peer pressure on me?"

"Oh, not at all. It's just that everyone's doing it. I am not one to make anyone feel guilty for their own decisions. Or lack of."

"Ha-ha!"

"I will point out that you'd have a significant advantage if we were playing strip poker. But I gotta tell you, I feel so free and nice!" I took a moment to helicopter my dick in a circle.I tried to helicopter my dick, but I was so hard it barely moved. I settled for thrusting my hips and wobbling it luridly.

"Well, it does look like you're having fun. I'm so jealous."

"I told you, all the cool kids are doing it." I said, switching to the classic hip-swivelling back and forth slappy-slap maneuver.I did a few impromptu jumping jacks, stopping before the up and down slapping of my balls got too intense.

"I can't believe I'm succumbing to peer pressure!" she exclaimed.

"So," I announced. "I seem to be the only person who's actually nude on the nude beach today!"

"But," Layla said, looking down, "I've given you free visual access to my tits. What more could you possibly want?"

The laugh that escaped me was both cartoonish and evil.

"The sight of my boobies isn't enough to satisfy you?" she wailed innocently.

"I want it all baby. You think I'm prancing around here with my cock out for nothing?"

"But naughty things always happen when I'm naked! Bad things!"

"I'm ready to take that chance," I insisted. "I mean...you aren't seriously hiding something like tentacles down there, right? Are you some kind of mermaid?"

"I wish," she said. "Okay, brace yourself..."

I viewed the beach in dim monochrome through the sunglasses. Since we were at the far end of one hotel wing and up on the third or fourth floor, we could see the giant boulders that separated the private hotel strip of sand from the local public beach, which we'd learned was zoned for nudists.

We were really jazzed at first that we were within visibility of the nude beach, but soon realized out that most of the locals were older couples and men not much worth ogling through binoculars. We had discussed the lack of hot Floridians with some other breakers and learned in general, Castille de San Luca Fernando was a retirement community. Solo young women rarely went to the nude beach because they'd quickly attract a ring of old perverts around them. And since it was Spring Break and most of the action was on the hotel beach, most of the wrinkly oldsters had managed to put on shorts and were wandering into the hotel beachfront to get their ogle on.

Some younger tourists, we were told, did steal over to the nude beach on occasion for drunken skinny dipping and outdoor-fucking, but always at night in small groups for safety. The street access to the beach was a city park that was locked up and the hotel guests could sneak away from the resort beach while locals were long in bed.

Due to all that, there was little action beyond the rocks during the day. The sand was pretty empty except for the occasional older nudist couple enjoying themselves like cute ancient walruses in the sun.

Wait. Something by the rocks?

A glimpse of fire orange?

Drinking is fine, but I preferred the slightly more laid-back atmosphere in the dedicated smoking room. I'm experienced in the 420 department, but oh. My. God. Never have I seen so much greenery and so much skunky incense haze in one room. Just spending thirty seconds in there could secure you an instant contact buzz before you even made it over to the elaborate hookah displayed as pretentiously as a chocolate fountain. A never ending procession of slow-moving neohippies were contributing to the hookah as they arrived, dumping entire bags in for the community good. Anyone could suck whatever smoke came out of there as long as there was a free hose. And stoners share. That's primarily why I love them.

I never figured out whether there was one skinny soulpatched shirtless hairychested guy playing guitar in the corner whose hair kept changing color, or if it was a sequence of different skinny soulpatched shirtless hairychested guys playing guitar with different colored hair who kept switching when I wasn't looking... Sto-ho-hone-duh.

A group massage session had unofficially begun in late afternoon and continued well into the evening, only interrupted by occasional rhythmic thrusting in the pile when people would forget what they were doing and obliviously start fucking until they were distracted, Ohay! we're doing massages now?. Nudity and casual masturbation abounded. One girl, after describing her squirting orgasms was pressed to demonstrate, and an impromptu contest began to see how many times she could come as more people gathered to witness the miracle.

I'm sure at some point ecstasy had been passed around or spiked in drinks, but luckily I didn't get any of that. I was so focused on making up brilliant dialogue in my head to whatever was playing silently on the hotel television that I didn't even turn my head to see who had snaked a hand inside my shorts to deliver a free oily handjob that was seemingly hours-long. It finally ended only when I ejaculated messily and as quietly as possible into my boxers.

At some point, I realized I had been watching the same mute episode of Blues Clues for what seemed like a year, and it was then I realized I needed to get out for some fresh air.

Too much to handle, man!

I had been intoxicated at different levels for around thirty hours and I was not the least responsible drunk. After day-drinking that occurred and burned off on the beach, the parties went late into the night. At one point I tried to help a dude who became a temporary hotel legend because he had been sitting on the floor of the elevator for over three hours trying to figure out which of four floors in the hotel was his:

"Three. Noseriously! Brah–yermybrahseriously. I'msurethistime. Three. Okay. Brah. Uhkaybrahseriously. Are you sure youpushed threecuz...that plant on this floor looks exactlythe same as allthother plants–oramIjusfreakinOUT man? Whoa– Heyseriouslybrah. Lesscheckout two. Thass it I swearseriouslybrah. Didjou pushit? Youalreadypushit. Buh itissintLITUP brah! ..."

Nearly every room stocked its own keg, gallons of tequila, and so many flavors of vodka that even people who insisted they never liked drinking were getting smashed up and vacuumed into the candy factory garbage chute. The hotel must have made a fortune on spring break because we never heard a peep despite some heinous messes and damage.

I must have fucked someone at least once that night because I regained consciousness in a dry hotel bathtub at some point with no pants on and my cock sticky with the undeniable funky aroma of cunt. I next became aware propped in a plastic deck chair with some girl between my legs chewing on my flaccid penis as her drunk friend attempted to coach her on the finer points of fellatio. I managed to extricate myself from that as politely as possible, pulling on someone's discarded gym shorts as I threaded my way through the oblivious throng in the room and made it down the hall to a fire escape door just in time to vomit as neatly as possible on a row of shrubs conveniently planted just outside.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the entire gardening staff at the Castille de San Luca Fernando Por la Playa Beach Hotel and apologize: I'm really really sorry for ruining that shrub.

So, that happened...

I swiftly hoisted my leg over Layla's head and squatted down, presenting my butt to her.

"What are you–oh, hello balls in the face!" she said. "Okay, I can work with this..."

"What. Oh, you're teabagging me again? And we're not even playing Counterstrike so I don't even have a chance to return the favor? Well then."

I sat on Layla's face again without comment, she seemed to be used to it by now.

Dangl'd!

We helped each other up and ran down to the water to rinse off, then plopped back down on Layla's towel to zone out a bit and lean against each other romantically, looking out at the waves.

"That was so great, Layla," I said.

"Yeah," she smiled. "It was nice."

"Nice," I repeated.

"Really nice," she said again, patting my arm. "I need to get get going though," she said looking at her arm as if she had a watch on, then realizing she didn't. "I'm meeting my girlfriends for brunch. Aaaand, I really need a shower. Sorry, I need my towel."

She gathered all her stuff, quickly pulling on a tee shirt and some denim shorts and zipping her bag. Without a word, she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Layla, can we do this again? I'm here the rest of the week, you know."

"Oh yeah, sure!" she chirped. "Call me!"

"I will!" I said, and it wasn't until she was gone that I realized I didn't have her fucking number!

Mail'd

"Oh yeah," she said, rubbing my arm. "You've got potential."

"Potential?"

"Yeah, you do," she said, and I got a nice view of her bare round bottom as she bent over on her knees to dig in her beach bag.

"What's this?" I said, as she took my arm, carefully writing numbers on the inside of my wrist with a sharpie marker.

"This is my fucking phone number so you don't lose it this time! We're going to need to do this three, maybe four, maybe ten more times this week to fully evaluate and hone your skillset. You aren't going to lose your arm, are you?" she said, capping the pen and kissing me on the lips.

"No... My arm stays with me all the time!" I said, grinning giddily.

Needless to say, I called Layla the moment I got back to my phone, and we spent that night and most of the remaining four days of Spring Break in our own private room she booked in the hotel fucking our ever-loving brains out.

We're still in contact, and we are planning to meet up again later this summer for even more sexual adventures. I'm learning so much. Did you know some girls can actually squirt when you do it right?

Lusty unnhh!

"Mmm," she said, leaning her forehead against mine. "I want to kidnap you and make you my sex slave."

"I don't know if you can call it kidnapping if I'm willing," I said, kissing her.

"Hold on," she said, diving into her bag and digging for something.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but she returned with something in her hand. "What are you–"

"Shhhh," Layla said, and then her face was in my crotch, hair spilling in my lap, my flaccid penis in her warm mouth.

"Oh. Gosh. I appreciate this, but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do anything for at least a little bit–" but she just grinned at me, bringing my cock to another erection with a combination of licks and gentle stroking. "Okay, you're talented Layla. You're ready to go again?"

"Not this second, she said, carefully holding my dick steady and blowing on it.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"Making sure the skin is dry," she explained as she wrote ten numbers vertically down the length of my shaft so I could read them. "Now," she said, blowing again to dry the ink. "This is my phone number, and this is permanent marker, but no swimming and no shower and no masturbation! Until you've committed these ten digits of mine to memory or your contact list." She carefully rubbed my foreskin up and down to show the numbers wouldn't immediately rub off.

"Yes, Layla," I grinned.

"Give me a call, and I'll help you get this ink off your junk a little later tonight."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I have my ways..."

Of course I called her as soon as I got back to my phone. To my surprise, I was invited to lunch on the top floor of the hotel which was a penthouse where Layla lives.

Because she owns the hotel...

The penthouse had a doorbell.

Ding Dong!

Dear Promising Two-Pump Chump with Potential,

You gotta take care of your lady. I know it's hard not to go full out when you're with a hot girl, but this Layla sounded like she was a cut above the norm and looking for a stallion with stamina to satisfy her, not a pony she needed to break in.

Be aware of her pleasure, and know how to tell when your lady orgasms. They can have lots of them, you know, and you want to make sure she's fully taken care of before you finish. Perhaps practice some edging and ejaculation control when you masturbate (see p. 22 this issue for hot tips!)

Keep on Thrusting!

ThrustLust

Late Friday Afternoon

"So, you're like, not hanging out with us, ," Froody said.

"He didn't even come back to the room last night!" Rick yelled from the balcony.

"I'm not coming back ever if I can help it!" I yelled back.

"There's only this weekend, do I get to hang out with you at all before we go home?"

"I'll try," I said sincerely. "I've been holed up in another hotel room..."

"You been holed up awright!" Steve's voice on the balcony.

"Lucky you," Froody's eyebrow arched, "I've decided I don't even want get laid. I'm playing hard to get this weekend, so the ladies will all come to me."

From the patio: "If you'd talk less like that, you might not strike out so consistently!"

"Shut up, Steve!" Froody leaned in confident. "I don't care if I'm not getting laid. The scenery here in Florida, on the beach has unleashed in me, I swear to you, the most vivid and lucid interactive sex dreams I've ever had. My spank-bank is robustly overflown."

"Con...gratulations?"

"So you met a girl? A real girl?" Froody grinned. "Someone you wanna stick with?"

" knows how to stick it, RoodyFroo!" I heard the slap of Rick and Steve's high five.

Froody rolled his eyes. "Dude, so happy for you. What's her name?"

Dude!

Dude!

She goes by many names.

She is nymphaniac soul of the ocean...

Why am I talking with you when I could be fucking her right now?

I feel her powers drawing me back. SAVE ME FROODY!

BYE FROODY GOING TO FUCK MORE BYE.

If you'll excuse me, I'm wasting a perfectly good erection.

By the way, did you know I've been standing here giving myself a series of dry kundalini orgasms the whole time I've been talking to you?

Layla!

Layla answered in just a silky indigo robe tied around her.

"! Glad you found it so quick," she took my hands. "I wanted to invite you to brunch with us."

"Oh my god, I am starving. Yes. Us?"

She pushed the door open further, revealing another smiling lady with a towel wrapped around her.

"This is my hot roommate Jasmalyn. We were just getting ready to jump in the shower. C'mon in and join us!"

Eyebrow waggle. Door slam.

The End

Dear ,

Please find enclosed for your review our standard contract for a three (3) month "episodic" summer column as a featured contributor, tentatively entitled "RAW: The Sexy Dungeonmaster's Guide to Rolling 20sSex on the Beach (with and Layla)"

Based on reception, we would negotiate further to extend your column, possibly as an annual summer feature, or solicit authorial contribution from you on a regular basis.

We look forward to discussing the details!

Sincerely,

J. Brock, Senior Editor,

ThrustLust L.L.C.

The End

Dear Pumping Penile Padawan,

You go, boyeeee! There's nothing like having a hot sexual mentor to to take you between their legs and guide you and teach you all the intricacies of erotic pleasure. Enjoy your summer!

Keep Thrusting!

ThrustLust

The end?

Layla's legs were stretched vertically up in front of me, so I leaned forward so my erection could slip between her close-pressed thighs. Oh yeah.

I thrust my hard cock in and out between the soft flesh of her inner thighs.

I hugged Layla's legs to my chest as my slippery cock moved between her inner thighs, my balls slapping away at her smooth skin.

God, my cock felt so good squeezed between her thighs! She crossed her ankles and flexed them repeatedly.

I continued my between Layla's thighs.

What had happened was...

I thought you might like a drink...

So, where do you go to school?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Come here often?

Don't know if you're aware, this is a nude beach...

So...I'm naked now...

I think you're fascinating.

So, what do you do?

I hope I'm not annoying you.

"You know," I said, "it's actually a miracle I actually found you again."

"What do you mean?" She looked over at me. "I gave you my phone number."

"Ah, yes you did. However. Let me tell you about my morning..."

"What happened this morning?" Layla asked.

"First off, Carlos tried to sabotage our rendezvous."

"Carlos. The bartender?"

"It was his fault! He set my drink on the napkin with your number, and it got wet, and then all blurry. And your number is all sevens and twos and–I'm sure you know that– and I tried so hard to fold it carefully very neatly but this morning I pull it out of my pocket and–

"Wait, wait. You lost my number?"

"I didn't lose it. I was going to call you immediately when I woke up right at 11:47, yes, I looked at the clock that's exactly what time it was–"

"Just for reference, I don't answer until double digits on the left."

"Right...but I woke up. And that napkin was in my pocket and... did I fall into the swimming pool on my way back to the..."

"That would probably do it."

"But I peeled it all apart, and I was going to put it all back together, cause I'm great at puzzles and once I set my mind to–let me jump ahead a bit. I saw you down here on the beach from my balcony."

"You saw me? All the way down here? "From the hotel?"

"Well, with binoculars."

"Ah."

"And I ran all the way down here, but first I stopped and bought you a drink and–it's like fate or something braught me here!"

Layla turned her head, sniffing the air. "Do you smell Brut?"

"No, do you?"

"Yeah."

"I swear, someone down the beach must be wearing Brut cologne."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"Well...no."

"Do you like the smell of Brut–"

"I had an uncle who used to bathe in Brut cologne, practically."

"Was your uncle hot?"

Layla stared at me oddly.

"Did you find your Uncle–the one who wore Brut–sexually attractive in any way?" I inquired, wishing I had taken more time to rinse off in the hotel pool.

"Okay, now you are just being weird, ."

"Well, I'm asking because–"

"Brut kind of gives me an instant headache."

"Hold, on, I'm just gonna go... I'm gonna swim in that beautiful Atlantic Ocean over there for a minute but I swear I will be right back."

"You're weird, !" she hollered as I sprinted to the shallows to splash off vigorously and submerge myself in the brine before jogging right back dripping wet and trailing seaweed in my shoes which had gotten a whole lot more uncomfortable.

Wide-eyed: "Are you okay?"

"I'm great," I nodded casually. "Should have taken off the shoes before doing that. Otherwise. Great. So."

"I still can smell Brut," Layla said, sniffing around again. "You don't smell that?"

"Huh. No."

"Maybe they sprayed for mosquitos last night."

(What had happened was...)

Do you need some more suntan lotion?

See anything you like?

I must apologize for the state of my...um. Arousal.

Your boobies are so awesome...

I wanna get on top of you right now.

After chatting for a while, I decided to leave.

Dear ThrustLust Magazine,

I am a college guy who eagerly looks forward to your Letters to the Editor column each and every month. I never thought I'd have a chance to actually contribute until I got home from Spring Break last month. Let me tell you a little about me first.

I am not in any way what you'd call attractive, so the fact I get to write in at all is kind of surprising. Looks-wise, I mean, I have I'm just an average, normal-looking college guy, nothing special. I have I have been told I am strikingly handsome, so I guess I might have a slight advantage over most dudes. I don't really work on it. I've got short shoulder-length longish light hairdark hair that I usually keep buzzed short, down to almost nothing because it's one less thing to deal with! . On top of this, I'm I would say I'm I have to confess to you, I'm a little out of shape since I spend most of my time at the computer and studying. Who has time to work out? pretty much average in the physique department. I don't have time to work out, nor the money to eat enough to get fat, and I've always had a fast metabolism. rather fit though. I played baseball in high school and spend my free time at the pool swimming laps to keep in shape. quite muscular since I spend 5 or 6 days a week in the gym. I was the fat kid in high school, so I decided to change that when I turned 18 and have progressively hardened all that flab into a pretty swole body. Needless to say, I'm not really a chick-magnet at this time, but I like to think my personality is my best attribute. And who has time for insipid dating rituals when pursuing an engineering degree?I guess I get my share of dates when I put effort into it. Even though young college girls are hot, few of them actually have much experience in bed. I've gotten with so many girls whose concept of sex is five minutes of lying naked and perfectly still with their eyes closed before she can resume looking at pictures of shoes on her phone and asking if I like them.As you can imagine, I have no problem scoring chicks, and normally end up needing to beat half of them off me with a stick (metaphorically, of course!) and take out restraining orders on the other half (sadly not so metaphorically...) College girls can't usually keep up with me, and I can go through two or three a night. Kiss-rub-lick-(sometimes blowjob)-fuck, bam bam bam.

So Spring Break. As you imagine: sun, sand, wall to wall college ladies in bikinis among a sea of drunk horny guys looking for action. I was hanging out at our hotel, partying as you do...

"So!" I announced. "I'm to understand this is a nude beach! I believe I shall remove my clothing now, as it is legal and I desire to do so!"

Layla turned toward me and leaned back to watch the drama unfold, an amused smirk on her face.

I gave the drawstring of my swimtrunks a devil-may-care tug, but that only made the knot tighter. I spent a minute or so trying to pick it apart with my fingernails.

"Do you need some help?"

"No! I shall disrobe promptly," I hollered, figuring I could just wiggle them down over my hips.

When I'm ready to be naked, there's no real sense of ceremony to it, but I shoved my trunks down to my ankles and kicked them away, standing proudly before Layla nicely fluffed and semihard, my erection at complete full mast, awaiting her reaction.

I gave Layla the sexy I will if you will look and turned around, giving me one more moment to work on that damn knot. Nooo. I carefully and deliberately wiggled my rear, working the still damp and too-tight trunks off my ass and down to my ankles. I kicked them aside and turned around, fortunately nicely fluffed and semihardprominently erect, complete full mast.

"Here I go, I'm getting naked," I murmured. "Oh yeah, so sexual, get ready for this... Are you ready for this?"

"I'm ready for this," she smiled.

"No, you're not ready for this, let me give it to you just a little at a time..." I turned facing away. "Oh, look at that ass, girl, you know you wanna take a bite outta that don't you? Oh yeah. All right, here comes, are you ready!"

"I am definitely ready, ."

I turned back, nicely fluffed and semihard my erection at complete full mast for the big reveal.

"There it is!" I said, gazing down at the sheer magnificence.

Layla was either aghast or giggling behind her hands; I couldn't yet determine which.

I busted some moves to heat the beach up, undulating sinuously for Layla.

"Just so you know, I don't have any dollar bills with me, if that's what you're going for..."

"Oh, you don't need money, sweetheart," I said on my back in the sand, thrusting my hips up and down, fucking the sky like it was my bitch. "Just enjoy this special free preview! Awyeah, that's right!"

The knot remained stubbornly tied, so I writhed around a bit, working them down over my ass, then rolled over to my stomach. I did several erotic pushups, transforming them fluidly into snakelike sexiness I'm a cobra! displaying my sand-covered pecs.

Layla had her hands over her mouth, gazing at me over her fingers, wide-eyed in obvious admiration.

I pushed back to my heels and spread my knees wide, keeping my junk cupped with two fistfuls of sand to draw out the sexual tension, allowing the sand to run through my fingers, revealing my staggeringly impressive genitals little by little.

Layla chuckled. "Okay, that sand cannot feel too good where you've got it."

No. No it did not. Two words: sand crotch. This would not work at all. I tried to brush the sand off, but it was now wet and just scrapy and unpleasant. Layla laughed so hard she started coughing.

"Okay, I will concede I did not plan my erotic dance out very well!" I declared. Be right back."

A quick rinse in the shallows got most of the sand off. Aggh.

I realized I had all the scenery going on, so I did my best James Bond walk out of the ocean, salty, naked and wet, dripping to stand widestanced over Layla. "This concludes your exclusive private dance preview! You can subscribe to see the rest for four ninety-five with a valid credit card..."

"Is there a hot girl without her credit card discount?"

I guess I should take a moment to point out that my penis is

and

Just for reference...

I grabbed Layla's ass, rubbing her round globes in slow, outward circles, spreading them apart.

I squeezed her firmsoft, generous buns enjoying their round smoothness.

I rooted my fingers into her crack, finding her puckered hole and circling it with my middle finger.

I made sure my finger was oily enough, and worked it up Layla's asshole to the knuckle, making her shudder and moan.

"Oh, Jericho, I am blithely unaware of the exotic sexual customs of your native people!" she gasped.

I worked my oily fingers in circles on her butthole.

"Oh, Jericho, my pious stepmother mustn't know you've laid your hands on me!"

I plunged my oily index finger in and out of Layla's butt as she gasped.

"Mother will have you horsewhipped within an inch of your life, Jericho, if she discovers me here with you in the barn!"

I carefully worked two slick fingers into Layla, stretching her hole. Layla tensed up as I probed her.

"Oh, Jericho, you must take care with my delicate, virginal flesh! I am not accustomed to such manly, thick fingers ravaging my fundament!"

Layla rotated her butt as I plunged two fingers in and out of her tight asshole.

"I promise never again to sneak into the barn at night to take your horses out and ride them bareback in the moonlit meadows, Jericho!"

"Oof," Layla grunted as I tried a third finger in her ass. "Your rough, manly hands are so big, –I mean... Jericho!"

I gave her my best evil pirate laugh: Ahaha hahah HAHAHAH ahahaha!

Layla grunted as I continued to thrust three fingers in and out of her ass, feeling her tight squeeze giving way incrementally.

"Oh, Jericho, you make me want to give up my plucky resistance and submit to my wanton desires, submitting my tender flesh to your brazen lust!" she moaned.

"Ooh, wontons sound really good right now. Is there a place we can go locally?"

"We'll nnffffffFFF talk about takeout later," she replied, squeezing my fingers with her tight ass muscles.

Layla's ass slowly relaxed the more I plowed my fingers in and out of the tight ring at the entrance.

When I made it back to my own hotel room and the door clicked shut, I realized two things: everything was abruptly peaceful and quiet and I was exhausted. I could happily lie down and go to sleep. Also, I smelled like possibly every fluid available during spring break and I could totally use a shower.

The idea of a shower took precedence. I shed my clothes in a trail to the futuristic glass shower booth etched with overlapping flamingos. It had an adjustable massaging showerhead; all the better to purge my unclean flesh with scalding steam.

When I made it back to my own hotel room and the door clicked shut, I realized two things: everything was abruptly peaceful and quiet and I was exhausted. I could happily lie down and go to sleep. Also, I smelled like possibly every fluid available during spring break and I could totally use a shower.

I succumbed to exhaustion and flopped down on my side of the double king-sized bed. Ah! Firm hotel mattress! Crisp clean sheets. So. Many. Fluffy. Pillows! Cool on my face! So happy to–

Spring Break is all about partying and getting laid, right? I had no trouble with the first part, but if you're not some washboard-abdominal sporting, boorish twink from the same mold where they make all the guys named Dakoda and Spander and Draxdon, it takes some effort.

There were several specified "orgy" rooms, but I kept getting velvet-roped at the door for capacity like it's a fucking LA club; meanwhile a string of hard bodied Braydens and Caydens and Haydens were admitted around me and the other clump of losers in the hall. Finally, I managed to find a less popular room at the end of the second floor where the people were less beautiful but still getting their shiz on. Unfortunately, everyone was paired and tripled off already and I realized I was that creepy, fully-dressed guy watching people fuck from the sidelines.

I stepped out on the balcony for a cigarette. A sturdy girl in a red halter top and a skirt slumped over the patio table, ringlets of her long thick red and blond-streaked hair spilling everywhere. Phone at her ear; not talking on it.

She lifted her head at the scrape of the patio door, "Evenin' hun."

"Hey," I said, lighting my cigarette. "Wanna fuck?"

She slumped back to the table, "Oh no. Sorry, my ladygirl is down for the count tonight."

"I'm kidding, anyway," I said, ashing into a red plastic cup containing an inch of beer and fifteen other butts. "I'm sorry. I don't usually say stuff like that to people."

"I hear ya', and it's okay. Any other time I'd say yeah, puddin'."

"It's okay."

"Hey, wait," she drawled, "We're goin' someplace nice, so I can't get messed up, but... " She lifted her tight halter top, letting her double acreage of mammary burst forth and spill to the sides. "You can play with my titties awhile if you'd want to."

"Um. Yes. Yes I do,"

"Not right now."

I definitely could have gotten tail a lot more than I did; I actually found myself turning down offers just because thse chicks were not in their right minds. I did take some time to check out one of the designated "orgy" rooms where you could join in pretty much anywhere, but most of the people inside were already paired up, already in progress, and way into whatever they were doing.

Observing the ongoing bacchanal, I chatted at length with a manbun'd, waist-down-nekkid guy from Sweden who never stopped fucking two giggly blond chicks piled one atop the other during our conversation. The top girl wore nothing but a red garter belt and fishnets; the bottom girl, a white garter belt and hose. He pumped his curved erection into each of them casually while I sipped a beer and we discussed the viability of a degree in sports medicine.

Finally he said "Excuse me," and ejaculated with a polite grunt into the top girl. There was a small wet splurting sound as jizz gooshed around his shaft and dribbled onto the ass of the bottom girl. He kissed them both, was politely unoffended when I declined to shake his hand as he dismounted, and indicated it was my turn before vanishing.

I was totally down to get in on that action!

Did he think I was waiting in line?

I have no trouble getting laid, so the party was simply amplified during Spring Break. In fact, the first two days I think my Johnson spent more time inside wet pussy than outside of it. It was almost too much to handle and I had to make sure to keep hydrated.

By Wednesday, I needed a break, so I took a "me-day" and holed up in the room to take a long nap. I felt much better later on after a marathon of Blues Clues, a splurge on an $18 room-service burger, and three mini airline bottles of randomly-flavoried Smirnoff (green apple, blueberry, and Belgian waffle). The salt and alcohol quickly made me weirdly dehydrated again, and I took a walk for a Gatorade at the vending machine in the lobby where I was accosted by two hot girls dressed to go out clubbing.

Their tongues went in my ears, the wood emerged, and I followed them to the elevator. Before the doors even closed, down went the girls, down went my zipper, out came my cock, and ding! I was on the receiving end of a competitive double blowjob. There's nothing like having a tongue on your dick and a tongue on your balls at the same time.

Unfortunately, the hotel was only four stories high in total, so after about twelve seconds ding! the doors opened and we got screamed at by a very surprised Latvian maid. I packed away my aching erection as the girls led me down the hall to–their hotel room? We finally stopped outside a door where a group of about ten other girls mingled. The pair hustled me through...

One of the double beds in the room was already occupied by a girl in a short skirt grinding herself in slow circles astride a buff guy wearing only a football helmet and plastic pink fuzzy "love cuffs" on his wrists shackling him to the bedrail.

As my new friends stripped me naked, they explained I was to be a critical part of their sorority hazing ritual: Did I think I could stay hard while handcuffed and blindfolded and a succession of ladies rode on top of me and banged themselves silly?

Hell yes I could.

I didn't like where this was going.

I made my way off like panties in a Mercedes.

I must be honest. I am actually somewhat of a geek. My friends are also geeks, and all of us brought equipment to play a game called Dungeons and Dragons along, which I'm sure you have never heard of.

Imagine fantasy roleplay with no sex and more math; played by guys with no girlfriends, or who want to get away from their girlfriends. And sometimes played with tiny painted figurines. Yep, that's how much of a geek I am.

Though games can go for days, I thought it would be fun to play so I could perhaps damage my ego instead of my body for a while. I ventured inside the room on the fourth floor, making sure nobody saw me go in. They were just starting a special spring break-themed campaign. Unfortunately, I was eliminated first when our party was taken prisoner by a squad of gay hobgoblins.

"Okay, I'm rolling against the buttfuck damage table," said the Dungeon Master, throwing five different dice.

"There is no table of buttfuck damage in the rules," I insisted.

"We're on spring break, and so are the hobgoblins. I'm sure there's buttfucking going on here, so I made up a custom anal damage table."

I accepted my barbarian's humiliating fate (succumbing in an ass to ass show with an unfortunate elf and a cursed obsidian double dildo) and was exiled to paint figurines at the desk. I got through a bunch of goblins, but was doing more drinking than painting, and getting frustratedly high on paint-thinner fumes that were impossible to avoid.

Finally I had to get out for some air.

I'm actually considered introverted, but I'd say I just avoid following the crowd. I wasn't into contaminating my body with chemicals. My goal for Spring Break was the ocean, the hot sun, the beach; to commune with nature and get a tan.

And maybe perhaps to observe some pretty girls in bikinis a little bit too...

I had driven down Florida with my friend Froody and his roommates Rick and Steve to save costs and share a hotel room. They immediately vacated for swimming, pool parties, and massive intoxication, returning rarely and usually so late in the morning that I had been asleep for hours. There was plenty of solitude to meditate to the pounding ocean surf that always made it through the balcony door when I wasn't walking on the beach or sitting under a tree pondering existence.

Two times Rick and Steve burst unexpectedly into the room while I was naked, sweaty, practicing kundalini sex energy meditation and ejaculation control before they learned to knock.

"He came all the way down to Spring Break to masturbate by himself?" Steve muttered, thinking I couldn't hear.

Luckily Froody was able to explain my quirks to the other two later, though they came to me with lots of inane questions. You can come without touching yourself? No, I don't come exactly...

About the evening of the third day, I was becoming a bit bored. The only thing interesting on TV was a Blue's Clues marathon. I'd had so much opportunity for solitude that the excess energy was actually wearing me out and I became restless and unable to sit still. I was on Spring Break for goodness sake. I should take the opportunity to socialize a little. Since the thought of this was a little frightening, I first took the opportunity to socially lubricate myself with three miniature bottles of alcohol from the cooler. That's what people do during these events, right?

I figured vodka was the cleanest form of grain alcohol, and it seems to come in interesting flavors. I chose blueberry, chocolate fudgesicle, and spicy fajita to sample a variety. And then a tequila shot to pair with the Mexican food flavor that invaded me. In hindsight, that was not a very wise combination.

My metabolism is so fast that it all hit me within ten minutes, and I clutched the plastic hotel ice bucket in the bathroom wishing I could vomit while desperately not wanting to. After some concentration and deep breathing, the feeling passed. I decided to take a walk to clear my head and retrieve some more ice since I had managed not to desecrate the bucket and the cooler had almost completely melted.

Every single machine in our wing of the hotel was empty, so I tried a shortcut through the pool area. Walking a straight line was hard without concentrating. The incessant beat of the music and the scattered energy of human desire for sex and drugs hovered in the air, mixed with the hazy funk of chlorine, musk, and coconut-flavored alcohol. It was nauseating in reality, but with four shots on an empty stomach, my usual aversions were pleasantly obliterated and I decided to see what the party had in store.

Lots of energy, little focus.

I couldn't take it anymore. I strugged to get my arms free from where they were pinned under her legs. When that took too long, I shoved my face up into her crotch and attempted to tear through her thong with my teeth, shaking my head back and forth like a dog...

"Ohhhh, ! Your...

Her surprise at my nose in her butt repositioned her legs so I was able to get my arms up through them, pull her thong mostly off of her, and grab her ass, pulling her down to squat on my face, covering my mouth in slick, warm pussy–

"Oh, but ! Ohh...fffffff...ohhhhhHHH!"

–Her hands grasped mine on her ass, and tried to pull away, but my swirling tongue made its way into her slit, oh god it tasted so good, and she relaxed, her protests turning into squeaky grunts as she splayed on my mouth.

"Uh! Uh! Unh! Nn! Oh. Unngh...hhhOhyeah!"

I greedily ate her pussy like a hungry caveman presented with medium-rare filet mignon. She writhed above me, sounding like she was cursing in Spanish before plunging down, engulfing my cock in her warm, sweet mouth.

67...68...

My fingers brushed over the moist folds between Layla's legs and the soft thatch of pubic hair just above.

I pressed the heel of my hand into Layla's pussy, twisting slightly and moving it in circles.

"Oh, yeah, like that!" she moaned, pressing her crotch into my slickening palm.

I moved my fingers in circles on her outer lips lightly at first, her soft flesh parting with a quiet wet sound each time. I spread her gently, revealing her slick pink interior tunnel.

I moved my index fingers on each side of her slit, pressing the folds togther and rotating them in between with gentle pressure.

I circled her clit with my fingertip, enjoying how her girl juices oozed out and slickened it up.

"Ohhhhh, !"

I spread her apart with my hands, inspecting the anatomy of her womanhood.

"I love your pussy, Layla..."

"Mmmm. Me too..."

I licked a finger and circled it just inside her folds, finding the entrance to her vagina and working my digit deep inside. I felt the soft walls squeeze my finger as she shuddered in pleasure.

I quickly found the slightly bumpy patch on the forward wall and pressed gently, making Layla gasp in a deep breath. "Ohhhhhhh... Knows where the clitoris and the G-spot is. Unnnh! Fifty points to Gryffindor!"

"You think I'm a Gryffindor?"

"You're not a Hufflepuff, that's for sure!"

I slid two fingers inside her increasingly wet pussy, wiggling them around, trying to touch every interior surface. Layla's crotch wiggled around, directing me on a guided tour of her vaginal walls.

I maneuvered two fingers inside of her on her G-spot, my thumb onto her clit, then pinched and rubbed thm them both gently simultaneously against her pubic bone in the "mo money" gesture.

Layla thrashed wordlessly on the towel, justifying my begrudging persusal of women's sex advice magazines in doctor and dentist office waiting rooms my entire life.

Layla's wet pussy made rudely lurid sounds as I worked two fingers around inside her.

I .

I pushed Layla's knees to her chest, plowing my cock into her ass; she made short vocalizations with each thrust... Ah ah ah! Ah! Ah! Oooooh!

I leaned back on my heels, looking down so I could see my cock buried below Layla's spread pussy. My inches looked so good sliding out of Layla's tight pucker... I withdrew till I saw just the edge of my glans, then thrust back in deep. Ooof!

I leaned down over her body, keeping my hips going pistoning in and out of her ass, smushing her tits into my hairy chest.

"Ffffff! Oooh!"

I held still Layla squirmed under me, gasping breathily, impaled on my cock and writhing side to side, unable to escape the slick penetration of my hard shaft.

I leaned down on her body, letting it weigh on her slightly as my buns wiggled in the air, driving in and out of her throbbing asshole.

"Ohhhhh... Fuck my ass, !"

I gripped her buttocks and spread them wide, impaling her butt with my hard cock.

"Your ass is so fucking tight, Layla..."

I moved my hips in circles, the tight ring of her anus milking my cock in slow, sensuous thrusts.

"You like fucking my ass, ?"

"Unh huh... Yeah... Take my cock, Layla..."

I ground my boner in Layla's ass. She twisted her hips to accomodate my steady, pounding thrusts.

I grasped her jiggling boobs and held them tight.

"Oh, pound my ASS, !"

I clenched my teeth and quickened the pace, our wet skin slapping like a faulty propeller made of suntan lotion and buttfucking.

My erection slipped out and flopped wetly along her dripping slit. Layla grabbed her tits and squeezed them, legs high in the air. I sank slowly back into her asshole, planting my erection deep like a fencepost.

Layla as I her .

Layla's firm buns flexedsoft asscheeks jiggled as my hips crashed into her over and over, causing short vocalizations with each thrust... Ah ah ah! Ah! Ah! Oooooh!

My inches looked so good sliding out of Layla's tight pucker... I withdrew till I saw just the edge of my glans, then thrust back in deep. Ooof!

I leaned down over her body, keeping my hips going pistoning in and out of her ass, brushing my lips on the smooth flesh of her back, my lips picking up the cocoa flavored coconut suntan lotion from her skin.

"Ffffff! Oooh!"

I held still and let Layla drive her ass back onto my shaft. My balls mushed against her pussy each time.

Layla reared up on her knees, letting me cup her breasts in my hands as our mouths connected over her shoulder, our sweat-slicked bodies smearing together, my penis making lurid wet sounds in her butt.

"Ohhhhh... Fuck my ass, !"

I gripped her buttocks and spread them wide, impaling her hole with my hard cock.

"Your ass is so fucking tight, Layla..."

I moved my hips in circles, the tight ring of her anus milking my cock in slow, sensuous thrusts.

"You like my tight ass riding your big, hard pole, ?"

"Unh huh... Yeah... Slide on my cock, Layla..."

Layla ground her booty on my dick, twisting her hips and producing a high squeaky sound as my boner found a sensitive spot deep in her backside.

I leaned over her to grasp her jiggling boobs and hold them steady.

"Oh, pound my ASS, !"

I clenched my teeth and quickened the pace, our wet skin slapping like a faulty propeller made of suntan lotion and buttfucking.

My erection slipped out and flopped wetly between her buttcheeks. Layla pressed her tits into the sand, presenting her ass high in the air for me. I clambered up onto my feet and mounted her like a pornstar, pile driving my big wang down into her nether-hole.

Layla as I her .

Layla rose and fell on my dick, her tight anal ring milking my shaft.

Layla rocked her hips, driving my cock deep inside her ass, covering her breasts like Aphrodite.

I thrust into Layla's ass as she held steady and panted up at the sky, my balls jouncing up and down between my legs

"Ffffff! Oooh!"

Layla bounced her ass on my dick, her jewel-like boobies quivering with the forceample breasts wobbling above, landing with a soft slap on every downthrust.

Layla leaned forward, letting me cup her breasts in my hands as our sweat-slicked crotches smeared together, my penis making lurid wet sounds in her butt.

"Ohhhhh... Fuck my ass, !"

I gripped her buttocks and spread them wide, impaling her hole with my hard cock.

"Your ass is so fucking tight, Layla..."

Layla rode me like a horsey–I moved my hips in circles, the tight ring of her anus milking my cock. She planted her hands on my pecs to steady herself as we bounced.

"You like my tight ass riding your big, hard pole, ?"

"Unh huh... Yeah... Slide on my boner, Layla..."

Layla ground her booty on my dick, twisting her hips and producing a high squeaky sound as my cockhead found a sensitive spot deep in her backside.

I grunted, holding her hips as they worked above mine.

"Oh, pound my ASS, !"

I clenched my teeth and quickened the pace, our wet skin slapping like a faulty propeller made of suntan lotion and buttfucking.

My erection slipped out and flopped wetly between her buttcheeks. Layla took the opportunity to turn around, lifting up so I got a clear view of my inches slowly disappearing in her hole like a magic trick. Her buns crash landed in the soft nest of my pubic hairwith a wet slap against my smooth groin, her soft flesh rippling. I had a front row seat to watch the Layla's Beautiful Ass Gets Boned show, and I put my hands behind my head to raise it up so I didn't miss anything.

Layla's cello shaped curves towered above me as she rode my dick, her body sinuously rising as she leaned forward. She waved at the surfers who apparently had gotten wind of what we were doing, and they had all wiped out and paddled near their boards out in the surf.

"Okay," Layla said, standing up and turning back around. "That's enough of a show for the surfers!"

She mounted me again, squeaking as my dick filled her ass again. She clamped her anal ring around the base of my cock before resuming sliding up and down.

Layla as I her .

Layla's firm buns flexedsoft asscheeks jiggled as my hips crashed into her over and over, causing short vocalizations with each thrust... Ah ah ah! Ah! Ah! Oooooh!

My inches looked so good sliding out of Layla's tight pucker... I withdrew till I saw just the edge of my glans, then thrust back in deep. Ooof!

Layla and I rolled back and forth on our sides, comically bumping her ass into my groin. It looked weird, but felt so good as my dick inched back and forth in the tight squeeze of her ass.

"Ffffff! Oooh!"

I wiggles my hips, thrusting against her asscheeks with wet slaps, my balls jostling between my legs.

Layla moved her top leg behind mine, and I was able to thrust deeper inside her ass. I pulled her hip tighter in to me as her insides gripped my hard cock.

"Ohhhhh... Fuck my ass, !"

"Your ass is so fucking tight, Layla..."

"Not for long," she said, reaching back to lift her buttock. My dick slipped out, and her anus gaped for a second before squeezing tight again. I guided myself back in and resumed fucking her.

I moved my hips in circles, the tight ring of her anus milking my cock in slow, sensuous thrusts.

"You like my tight ass riding your big, hard pole, ?"

"Unh huh... Yeah... Slide on my cock, Layla..."

Layla ground her booty on my dick, twisting her hips and producing a high squeaky sound as my boner found a sensitive spot deep in her backside.

I held one breast in my hand as she leaned over her shoulder for a kiss.

"Oh, pound my ASS, !"

I clenched my teeth and quickened the pace, our wet skin slapping like a faulty propeller made of suntan lotion and buttfucking.

Layla straightend her top leg and pointed her toe at the sky completely vertical.

"Wow, you've got legs like a dancer," I remarked still thrusting her backside.

"I used to be pretty good," she replied. "Oohhh... Right there..."

Layla as I her .