Interactive stories, text-based games and visual novels
Visit our new website AXMA.INFO
your name is clyde donovan and you're at lunch
ask craig for some of his lunch
you probably should eat dude
ask craig for some of his lunch
"hey dude, can i have like part of your sandwhich or something?"
he gives you a look but you ignore it and take part of his sandwhich
you feel fat now
you sit quietly through lunch, watching craig laugh with the others
and you realize that you love his smile
you're sitting in class talking to craig when he asks you something really uncomfortable
"want to go somewhere after school? like, i don't know, raisins?"
you almost grimace but that would make you look a little gay
so you just smile and say yes
craig pushes the door open for you both and the minute you walk in, you feel sick
there are way too many girls
but you're not interested, just scared
a pretty waitress walks over to your table and you start grinding your teeth when you see craig talking to her
she suddenly asks what you want and you're caught totally off guard
you decide that you're way too chubby for anything here
she writes something down and winks at you, but all you do is look right at craig
"aren't you hungry?"
"then why don't you eat?"
instead of answering, you start biting your lip as you glance around the room
all the girls here are skinnier than you'll ever be
it makes you want to puke
craig asks where you're going but you shrug him off and quicken your pace to the restroom
"thank god" you say as you hastely open one of the stalls and fall to your knees in front of the toilet
you're hovering over it with your finger down your throat and you're thinking
you want to cry when you see all the vomit in front of you
because you're still
get out of there
you flush the toilet and make your way back to craig
who's already eating
"where'd you go?"
"you on a diet?"
"oh" he says, and you guys don't talk until he's done eating
he didn't seem that interested in the girls either
but every time one of them tried to talk to him
you couldn't help but feel
you don't like going to your own house with craig because you feel like he'll question the low amount of food in the fridge
both of you run up to his room and he turns on his xbox, handing you a controller
"what game do you wanna play?"
anything you want to
"uhh" he looks around the room and all you do is look at him
"we don't have to do anything really" he finally says, sitting on the bed next to you
your face gets red and you try really hard to look away from him
he's so close
oh my god you could touch him
"wanna go to taco bell?"
that's your favorite place, and he knows it
you could never refuse taco bell
but you were just around all that food
jesus christ why does he want to go places with you all of a sudden
"okay, something's up" he narrows his eyes and forces you to look at him
oh shit he's touching your face
"i don't want to talk about it" you reply, hoping he doesn't notice how much you're shaking
"you're shaking, dude"
"dieting" you lie
but craig knows you too well
"you're lying, please eat something"
tell him to shut up
he looks angry now
but it's sorta cute when he pouts like that
"did something really bad happen? like, you weren't drooling over those girls either"
"they made me want to puke" you accidently say, and he looks surprised
they were so skinny
"you're not fat, clyde"
you look down at your stomach and bite your lip, because you know that's a lie
"i don't mean that you're skinny either, you're a little chubby, but that's perfectly fine"
NO ITS NOT
you jump off the bed and cross your arms because now you're really pissed
it's not fine
it's so far from fine
you know you need to be skinny to earn his affection
so it's not okay to be 'a little chubby'
you're so frustrated that you start bawling right in front of your crush
wow this is embarrassing
you can feel him standing really close to you
and you almost feel like dying when he wraps his arms tightly around you
before he gets the chance to comfort you, your hands grab his face and pull it towards yours
and your lips are on craig's
and all that runs through your mind is
he pushes you off so that your back hits the door
he looks scared
and your knees are weak
you forget about the time between opening craig's door and opening your own
the second your jump into bed you start screaming
(hank god your dad's at work right now)
your tears are salty and your skin is burning and you want to tear it all off
you also want to puke up your guts
so you do
it tastes awful and burns the back of your throat but all you want to do is empty yourself until you can't feel anymore
just go to sleep
you wake up with puke on your shirt and covers
your parents tell you to stay home
sleep some more
you check your phone as soon as you wake up somewhere in the afternoon, still covered in puke
there's a new message from stan
do you know where craig is?
you just reply with "no"
it suddenly hits you that you haven't eaten all day
that makes you smile and get up to check your weight
you lost 5 pounds in the past week
no matter how empty you feel
you're still fat
pick up the phone
it's stan, again
no seriously dude hes not answering anything and he wasnt at school
you walk out of the house with your puke covered shirt and make your way to craig's house
no one answers, so you let yourself in
you run upstairs and fall to your knees in his doorway
there's a bottle of pills on the ground
and a note
im so sorry please dont hate me
you put your hands on his shoulders and try to meet his gaze
but it never meets yours
you feel sick
your hand shakes a lot when you dial his number
it rings three times
but he answers
"stan said you weren't at school"
he sounds tired
"glad you finally called" you think you can hear him laugh "call 911 for me"
your heart drops
but you put him on hold
you switch back to your conversation with him and ask what's wrong about a hundred times
"i just wanted to die for a little"
"for a little? i'm a lot dumber than you but i know that death is forever, craig"
he doesn't reply for a while
"i really, like, love you"
he hangs up
you're not entirely sure what's happening but you feel nauseus and confused and a little bit happy all at the same time
skip to a couple hours later
craig sneaks into your house at 2 in the morning to tell you all about what happened
"they pumped my stomach" he says, refusing to look you in the eyes "i just felt terrible, because i thought you were going to do something really bad, and i didn't wanna see it happen"
"i'm so sorry" he kisses you slowly this time
i really like love you too
you decide to work on your eating habits because he returns your feelings
and for once you don't feel so empty
you don't know what to do
check on him
the text frightens you and you decide to just shut your phone off
you hope he's alright
you show up at school the next day without craig
and he's all you think about the entire day
you skip lunch to sit in the bathroom and stick your finger down your throat again
it hurts, but it's worth it
it makes you forget about craig for a bit
you see ambulances and police cars down the street
they're in front of craig's house
you sprint down the street and see craig's parents crying near the front door
ask them what happened
they tell you that craig committed suicide yesterday
you don't know what to do
tumblr user clydetuckers
clyde has an eating disorder, and craig worries
warnings for eating disorders and suicide and stuff